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Abstract

his wife.</p><h1 id="8e7c">#1. They are afraid of being dominated.</h1><p id="1854">When you fall in love, you basically hand over control. Your heart automatically belongs to your partner. That means you let her have a say in your lifestyle. Handsome men think it’s too much power to let go of. Allowing a woman in their hearts can be seen as a weakness because it requires surrendering and submitting to their partner’s desires and choices to make the relationship work.</p><h1 id="9bd8">#2. They can’t let go of their self-image.</h1><p id="ab36">One of the reasons men are afraid to fall in love is because they hold a strong belief system centered around stereotypes. They feel the need to fit in and measure up — the need to be superior to others and be self-reliant and independent. And the need to be more powerful than others. Men are raised to suppress anything feminine or show vulnerability. Since love makes one vulnerable, they don’t want to be seen as <i>“sissies.”</i></p><h1 id="e81f">#3. They can’t meet women’s high expectations.</h1><p id="d1f3">Men are under pressure to meet women’s demands on good looks — masculine builds and character. And some women criticize their partners when they fall short of their expectations. It’s a different thing to expect your partner to take care of themselves, but criticizing them when they don’t fit your imaginary figure is unacceptable.</p><h1 id="1539">#4. They have very low self-esteem.</h1><p id="f4b3">Cultural values, financial and social status play a role in how we look and how our body works, which can undermine our confidence. Low self-esteem impacts our mental health and sexual chemistry. For men, a crisis in confidence can make them reluctant to deal with emotional issues, like being committed in relationships.</p><h1 id="e7ce">#5. They don’t like the burden of spending on extracurricular activities.</h1><p id="3533">Women like it when their men shower all expenses on fun dates — cool outings and surprise events. But as your relationship becomes solid, it’s not fair to always expect your man to be responsible for making dating arrangements and handling incurred expenses to keep the relationship fresh. Women may ignore these little expenses, but they add up over time, and even our reliable, handsome dudes notice when their monthly bills run high.</p><h1 id="1990">#6. They are haunted by their past.</h1><p id="17ad">The past always does a number on us. And men are not immune to trauma. They are not superhuman like they want us to believe. Men are vulnerable creatures too. They experience trauma from childhood that lingers through adulthood. Some past experiences can make men irrespective of love.</p><h1 id="aa4d">#7. They want their options open.</h1><p id="d5e2">Of course, we all like our freedom. Some of us like to be free to date anyone we want without commitment. And

Options

that’s because being in a committed relationship comes with extra responsibilities. You will be obliged to be responsible for your partner’s emotional well-being and that of her family. The pressure to man up and take charge in a relationship can put men off from falling head over heels for a woman, even if he already likes her.</p><h1 id="da0f">#8. They don’t know how to deal with complexity.</h1><p id="2483">This may sound offensive, but most men are lazy, even cute ones. You will assume with their neatly tailored suits, shaved beards, and charming smile; they would know how to keep a tidy home. Sadly not. If they can’t keep their life organized, how do you expect them to keep a relationship together? This is why most men don’t fall in love, because that will mean learning to do things they hate- cleaning up their mess.</p><p id="7472">Fear of intimacy is a big problem in a relationship. If your boyfriend can’t stop being afraid of falling in love with you, don’t take it personally. Give him some space to figure himself out.</p><p id="774b">Eventually, he will grow up to face his fear and love you. But until he does, do what makes you happy. Focus on building yourself, and don’t let his fears overtake your life, goals, passion, or dreams of the future.</p><p id="4ba9"><i>If you enjoyed reading posts like this, check out more of my <a href="https://jesblake85.medium.com/list/relationship-70ee0bbde134">relationship stories</a>. You may consider <a href="https://jesblake85.medium.com/membership">subscribing</a> for $5/month. You get unlimited access to more stories like this.</i></p><div id="c1f2" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/4-major-mistakes-women-make-that-push-men-away-4888470c620f"> <div> <div> <h2>4 Major Mistakes Women Make That Push Men Away</h2> <div><h3>If you want to know why men don’t love so easily, take a hint.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ynHlBcdNxgxcYNgblQIcVg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="d864" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-place-your-values-in-the-right-man-ca686f1d2c04"> <div> <div> <h2>How to Place Your Values in the Right Man</h2> <div><h3>Is your kindness mistaken for weakness?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*3IOCP-SoegV6q099qtocqA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

It’s Not You. He’s Just Not Ready To Go There

He said she wasn’t fit to meet his family. Was it her or was he projecting?

Last year, a lot of women dreamed of getting married to their long-time boyfriends. Reagan was one of those women. She was hopeful that her French boyfriend was going to propose.

When Philippe booked their vacation at the grand Cap Estel hotel, just 15 km away from his family house, Reagan was certain this was it. The moment she’s been waiting for for the last thirteen years.

Reagan broke the news to me and three of our friends in confidence. She said she was joining Philippe’s family for the reunion. She sounded like he was going to propose in front of his family, or before they joined the reunion.

I was thrilled for her. But I had my doubts.

You see Philippe is from a traditional home. As prestigious as his family is, he won’t bring a woman to a family gathering if he isn’t engaged to her. No, his father won’t allow it. And his mum and aunts will humiliate the woman.

Reagan knew this, which was why she got excited and hopeful. She has never met Philippe’s parents. He doesn’t even take their calling in front of her. He would excuse himself whenever they called.

The whole secrecy in their relationship made me uneasy. My doubts grew when I saw the cold shoulders on Philippe when Reagan was ranting about the special invitation. He didn’t show any sign of readiness to be a family man.

I wasn’t surprised when Reagan called in the middle of the night to inform me that Philippe had left for the reunion without her. He didn’t propose and to throw more insult to injury, he said she wasn’t fit to accompany him to the reunion.

I was hurt by Philippe’s attitude, but then again, he didn’t make any promises to Reagan about settling down.

Why won’t your man propose?

Many men will hide their true feelings for fear of being hurt. If he’s not ready for marriage, chances are it’s not your fault. It can be frustrating dating someone and not knowing if you have a future with them.

So, if you’re tired of receiving mixed signals from your man? If his cold behavior leaves you constantly wondering whether he’s serious about your relationship?

Or perhaps you feel like you’re wasting your life on a man who isn’t ready to surrender his heart to you, then it’s time you got closure as to why your man isn’t ready to make you his wife.

#1. They are afraid of being dominated.

When you fall in love, you basically hand over control. Your heart automatically belongs to your partner. That means you let her have a say in your lifestyle. Handsome men think it’s too much power to let go of. Allowing a woman in their hearts can be seen as a weakness because it requires surrendering and submitting to their partner’s desires and choices to make the relationship work.

#2. They can’t let go of their self-image.

One of the reasons men are afraid to fall in love is because they hold a strong belief system centered around stereotypes. They feel the need to fit in and measure up — the need to be superior to others and be self-reliant and independent. And the need to be more powerful than others. Men are raised to suppress anything feminine or show vulnerability. Since love makes one vulnerable, they don’t want to be seen as “sissies.”

#3. They can’t meet women’s high expectations.

Men are under pressure to meet women’s demands on good looks — masculine builds and character. And some women criticize their partners when they fall short of their expectations. It’s a different thing to expect your partner to take care of themselves, but criticizing them when they don’t fit your imaginary figure is unacceptable.

#4. They have very low self-esteem.

Cultural values, financial and social status play a role in how we look and how our body works, which can undermine our confidence. Low self-esteem impacts our mental health and sexual chemistry. For men, a crisis in confidence can make them reluctant to deal with emotional issues, like being committed in relationships.

#5. They don’t like the burden of spending on extracurricular activities.

Women like it when their men shower all expenses on fun dates — cool outings and surprise events. But as your relationship becomes solid, it’s not fair to always expect your man to be responsible for making dating arrangements and handling incurred expenses to keep the relationship fresh. Women may ignore these little expenses, but they add up over time, and even our reliable, handsome dudes notice when their monthly bills run high.

#6. They are haunted by their past.

The past always does a number on us. And men are not immune to trauma. They are not superhuman like they want us to believe. Men are vulnerable creatures too. They experience trauma from childhood that lingers through adulthood. Some past experiences can make men irrespective of love.

#7. They want their options open.

Of course, we all like our freedom. Some of us like to be free to date anyone we want without commitment. And that’s because being in a committed relationship comes with extra responsibilities. You will be obliged to be responsible for your partner’s emotional well-being and that of her family. The pressure to man up and take charge in a relationship can put men off from falling head over heels for a woman, even if he already likes her.

#8. They don’t know how to deal with complexity.

This may sound offensive, but most men are lazy, even cute ones. You will assume with their neatly tailored suits, shaved beards, and charming smile; they would know how to keep a tidy home. Sadly not. If they can’t keep their life organized, how do you expect them to keep a relationship together? This is why most men don’t fall in love, because that will mean learning to do things they hate- cleaning up their mess.

Fear of intimacy is a big problem in a relationship. If your boyfriend can’t stop being afraid of falling in love with you, don’t take it personally. Give him some space to figure himself out.

Eventually, he will grow up to face his fear and love you. But until he does, do what makes you happy. Focus on building yourself, and don’t let his fears overtake your life, goals, passion, or dreams of the future.

If you enjoyed reading posts like this, check out more of my relationship stories. You may consider subscribing for $5/month. You get unlimited access to more stories like this.