It’s Not That Hard To Forgive Yourself

A few simple words is all it takes

For many of us, it’s easy to get angry at ourselves. It’s easy to hate ourselves for the number on the scale, for the colour of our skin, for not being able to get a good grade on a test despite studying hard, or for not being able to get a job. We are our harshest critics- picking on every small insecurity and every imperceptible flaw. If not nipped in the bud, the low self-esteem caused by this will lead to unfathomable consequences.

I’m going to explain to you, as simply as I can, a practice that will help you forgive yourself and achieve reconciliation.

A few years back, my mum introduced me to an archaic Hawaiian art of forgiveness called Ho’Oponopono, which was devised by the Hawaiian psychologist Dr. Hew Len. He worked in a mental hospital and before meeting a patient, he would review their file and chant the phrase repeatedly, hoping to heal the person and have a better relationship. Ho’oponopono literally translates in English to ‘to put to right” or “to put in order or shape”. In this practice, one repeats the following phrase:

“I’m sorry, please forgive me, I thank you, I love you”

And that’s it.

This phrase allows us to express four important emotions: 1. Repentance 2. Forgiveness 3. Appreciation 4. Love

According to an interview by Jonathan Davis, Dr. Hew Len finds this chant so powerful because it is one that all people, no matter religion or race, are in unity with. All different cultures around the world value and hold importance to the principles of repentance, forgiveness, appreciation, and love, making the practice applicable to all.

I find this phrase powerful because the repetition of it can calm my mind from chaos into tranquility. While saying these words, the problems that are troubling you are brought forward, and you are able to take responsibility for them and start putting things right, letting go of any anger, resentment, or hatred. This is why it is no surprise that this technique is also a form of meditation.

Reciting this can also affect the external world. The quality of the people you are surrounded by, the place you are in, the things you are experiencing are all a direct reflection of what you are inside. Once you stabilise your emotions internally, you also promote peace and harmony to the external environment.

The essence of this practice relies on understanding that we are all from the same source- we are one. My mum used the analogy that people are like ice cream in different cups. Though the mold is different, the ice cream tastes the same in all. I think this quote sums it all up beautifully:

“In common with other shamanic traditions, the Hawaiian tradition teaches that all life is connected. Ho’oponopono is, therefore, not only a way of healing ourselves, but others and our world as well.” Timothy Freke, Shamanic Wisdomkeepers

After chanting this regularly, most are able to see a reduction in stress, improvement in mental health, and a healthier relationship with themselves and others. But remember that to feel a change, you need to speak the words sincerely, from the bottom of your heart. If you don’t mean it, it’s not worth saying. Everything deserves to be said with value and genuineness. Additionally, this needs to be said on a regular basis, and not only in times of distress and turmoil. Spending just 2–3 minutes every night to connect with the universe will help you achieve this.

This is just a simple summary of the process, but if you would like to dive deeper into the subject I would recommend reading the book Zero Limits, by Joe Vitale. I’m planning to spend some time reading it in the coming weeks and will also write up a summary of my thoughts when I’m done! Thank you for reading and I hope that you will be able to take a few minutes to apply this into your own lives- after all, there’s no harm in trying. If you have any thoughts or have given this a shot, please do send me a response! I would love to read them :)