It’s NOT My Fault That My Dog Niece Gained Weight.
I take no responsibility.
It’s purely coincidence that I have been living with my sister and brother-in-law for a year, and in that time, according to today’s vet visit, Winnie, their dog, has gained 6 pounds.
I had NOTHING to do with it. NOTHING, I tell you.
My sister is very strict with Winnie’s diet and exercise. She gets a cup of dog food (along with a plethora of vitamins and allergy pills) at 6 AM.
At the human breakfast time, she gets a couple of tiny dog treats for sitting nicely and not begging at the table. Same at lunch.
At 4 PM, she gets another cup of dog food. At human suppertime, she gets a couple of tiny dog treats for repeating the “sitting nicely and not begging at the table” scenario.
At 8 PM, she gets a couple of tiny dog treats after her last nightly trip to the backyard.
My brother-in-law takes her on a daily 2-mile walk, regardless of the weather. (Unless it’s pouring rain, blizzarding, or the temperature is below zero.)
She is NEVER fed table food. She is NEVER fed between her meals. She is NEVER fed treats at any time except the designated times for sitting politely near the table and not begging.
Winnie is a Labrador retriever/hound mix. Her ideal weight is 48–50 lbs. In July 2021, she weighed 50 lbs. Today, June 2022, she weighed in at 56 lbs. How could that have happened, given her strict exercise and diet regimen?
My brother-in-law, who did not accompany my sister and Winnie to the vet, insists that it was “operator error”; that the vet didn’t position Winnie on the scale properly.
In any case, the vet’s instructions were to substitute carrots for the higher calorie dog treats. Poor Winnie was a little shocked at the switch, but she did eat the carrot pieces. Not happily, but she ate them.
I had NOTHING to do with her weight gain. Yeah, so maybe I have a stash of dog treats in a drawer in my nightstand and she knows they are there. Yeah, so maybe sometimes when Mom and Dad are out for the evening, she comes sniffing at the drawer and gives me that cocked head and puppy dog eyes look.
And maybe sometimes, I give her a treat or two or three. But not that often. Not more than a few times a week.
She’s kind of a delicate eater, and it takes a few minutes for her to chomp up one itty, bitty, ½ inch treat, so it’s not like she’s eating a whole pizza or anything. How the Hell could a few tiny doggie treats add up to 6 pounds?
You may think that 6 pounds is not a lot of weight, and maybe on a 6’ man, it wouldn’t be. But Winnie is small, and as I mentioned in the beginning, she should weigh no more than 50 lbs. 48 is better. So 6 pounds on a small dog is a lot of weight.
I will be going home to Florida in 3 weeks. If by the time I return here for Thanksgiving in November, Winnie has lost most of those 6 pounds, my sister is no dummy. She is going to put two and two together and come up with Joan. I am going to be toast.
But I can fix this in the 3 weeks I have left here. I walk on the treadmill every morning. All I need to do is teach Winnie to walk with me. I never do less than a mile. Usually, I do 3 miles. If I can get her to walk a mile a day with me and am disciplined about not letting her near my treat drawer, I’ll bet I can whittle 2–3 pounds off her.
I mean, not that I’m saying I had anything to do with her weight gain, but I should pitch in and help her any way I can, right?
© Copyright 2022 Joan Gershman
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