Abiding the unforgotten, it’s all I have to lose . . .

It’s Never Blue Enough

A Poem about the inherent angst of an Autistic Artist’s life.

It’s Never Blue Enough

It is here in what moves. In sudden subtle changes. I do my best, thanks for asking. Unsure if I’m not broken. Abiding the unforgotten. It’s all I have to lose.

It is there within you. In sudden slighted glances. I see shadows of near chances. Fallen across gray curtains. Residing in the uncertain. It’s how I pay my dues.

I’m painting just for you. In sudden sentient sadness. Taken by days of absence. Searching for the wording. I thrive in the learning. It’s how I search for truth.

I’ve missed all the cues. In all that has happened. Fallen foreign to your stances. Raising points, ever yearning. I strive for understanding. It’s why I seem a fool.

It’s nothing that I knew. If happy or if saddened. Limits stricken all that matters. Leaving empty while with fuel. I lie within the masking. It’s why I live untrue.

I’m painting just for you. Canvas stressed and overtightened. Strokes flow in dullened splatter. Filling whiteness that lies void. I live for the time when No more blue is in the tube

I live for what seems righteous. When it’s never blue enough.

Note

Like the painter in my poem, being Autistic I know I have problems with ¹ Simon Baron-Cohen’s Theory of Mind (ToM). In layman’s terms that means, like most people with Autism, I have deficits seeing the perspective of others.

Interesting Fact

¹ Simon Baron-Cohen is the cousin of actor and comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, best known for his movie and character Borat