It’s Groundhog Day Everywhere — and This Is Why Each Day Flies By

A “Novelty Boost” Can Slow Time Down

“So what’s it like there?” friends beg for details. Some are “envious” that I’m in Paris during the pandemic. Not just Paris. Since March, I’ve lived in Miami, Washington, D. C., and New York.

And I’m here to relieve you of any grass-is-greener fantasies. It’s Groundhog’s Day everywhere. And everywhere, time seems to be passing more quickly.

Researchers in Europe have already begun to study the “felt passage of time” during this pandemic. By May of 2020, three studies were published in Italy, the UK, and France — during the most strictly-controlled lockdown. “Subjective time” is important, says researcher Marc Wittmann, author of Altered States of Consciousness: Experiences Out of Time and Self, because it’s “an indicator of the level of well-being or distress of an individual.”

If you think “a geographic,” as twelve-step programs call it — changing cities thinking it will better your situation — think again. We take ourselves wherever we go, and...

…Pandemic life is everywhere

in late February, I am in Miami. My adult children fly in. My daughter, mother of three and now studying to be a nurse, brings sanitizer from New Jersey and wears a mask on the plane. My son, who sells soil additives to cannabis farmers in Oregon, arms himself with “Thieves’ Oil,” a blend of essential oils purported to boost the immune system. I’m glad they take precautions, but like Scarlet O’Hara, I decide, “I’ll think about it tomorrow.”

When my children leave, I get busy making plans. I’ll fly to New York for Passover with the family and then probably to DC to be with my partner. But maybe I’ll return to Miami, because April is my favorite month there.

When I share my proposed itinerary with Margaret, a dear friend in Massachusetts, she interrupts with her are-you-crazy speech.

Every day after that, my life gets smaller.

Perhaps the last eleven or so months have been more expansive for those who see the virus as a hoax and/or feel that they are invincible. But the rest of us have bent to the will of this pandemic.

We see fewer people. We are afraid to hug our loved ones. We eat out only when we can eat outside. Things have changed — a new president and several approved vaccines — but everything is also achingly, the same, day in and day out.

Ironically, I’ve worked at home for most of my career — wherever “home” happens to be. I write at a desk or a dining room table, on the bed or the sofa. Sometimes, I stand at a counter. But in the past, I didn’t have to stay home. Now home is all I have.

I’m not alone. “I go to the office,” says a friend, “and then before I know it, it’s the end of the day, and I’m getting up the next morning. I know know where the time went.”

Sameness on steroids.

I feel like I’m in an old movie. I can almost see the white pages with big black numerals, flying off an old-fashioned wall calendar.

Wake up, walk the dog (coffee before or after, maybe both), write, eat, walk the dog, edit, cook, eat, watch TV, read, add paragraphs to something I’ve already written, play Words With Friends, sleep, another calendar page flips, wake up…..The cycle happens in such quick succession, I don’t know what day it is, just that it’s another Blursday.

In a 2011 piece for Psychology Today, Steve Taylor, Ph.D. author of Making Time: Why Time Seems to Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control, lays out various psychological theories that have been put forth since 1877 about how and why we tend to perceive time differently.

Age of course plays a role: Time goes more slowly for children than adults because every week is a bigger chunk of their lives.

At the age of 14, one year constitutes around 7% of your life, which seems to be a large amount of time too. But…at 50, a year is only 2% of your life…

Also, Taylor points out, adults who have daily responsibilities have a tendency toward what psychologists call “forward telescoping.” The in-betweens tend to feel like they happened more recently than they actually did:

After a few years, we start to realize that the time it takes us to run through these routines seems to be decreasing, as if we’re on a turntable picking up speed with every rotation.

Biological research has shown that our bodies are a factor: slow metabolism speeds time; higher body heat slows it down. But the explanation Taylor favors has to do with perception. When I asked him recently (via email) why time seems to go more slowly during this pandemic, he answered:

It’s actually pretty simple in my view — most psychologists agree that the speed of time perception is related to how much new information our minds process. The more information, the slower time seems to pass. That’s why new environments and new experiences tend to slow down time.

Less information means a faster sense of time passing. And that’s what happening during lockdown — most people seem to be saying that time is going quickly. This is because our lives have become smaller, more full of routine and familiarity. Overall there is less new information and experience.

Eureka! Once you name it, you can tweak it.

The pandemic has drained our lives of novelty, leaving behind a river of rapidly-flowing sameness.

Even if we leave home, our travel is limited. Conversation, increasingly but not entirely, is virtual. Inevitably, we veer toward the mundane: Have you met friends for dinner yet? Whom do you allow in your house? Have taken the subway/metro? Are you still getting manicures? Was it crowded? Were people wearing masks? Did you feel safe?

Most important, the bulk of our time is spent with loved ones, not consequential strangers — barely known and rarely seen acquaintances on the edges of our social circles. These people outside “our familiar” bring the unexpected into our lives.

If the secret of slowing down time is to usher in the unexpected, we have try harder to invite the unfamiliar into our lives.

Give yourself a novelty-boost.

Try to encounter someone new. Push yourself to make casual, even fleeting acquaintances— ideally in person (we already spend too much time on line).I just moved to Paris where I’m surrounded by consequential strangers who speak a different language. But I push myself to take walks and talk to people. I find myself next to a mother whose son is wearing a New York Yankees cap and blurt out, “I have a feeling you’re from the States.” This leads to a longer conversation.

I am even willing to dive into social encounters I dread — for instance, consulting a store manager. I make mistakes, say the wrong word, and the manager probably doesn’t look forward to my next visit. Still, these exchanges are new, different — and energizing. I literally have something to write home about!

Look for opportunities you normally avoid. Start by reaching out to the invisible others who serve you — at the take-out window, at a gas station, at the cash register. Use names if they wear tags; otherwise, inquire. Be curious; ask questions. Proffer a compliment. You’ll get better service. But the real benefit is an unscripted moment of human connection. You will learn something you didn’t know, perhaps feel something you didn’t expect.

Be especially grateful for small surprises. This might not help slow time, but tons of research confirms that gratitude is a life-affirming emotion. I am reminded of this recently when Amazon.fr delivers the 12-pack of 1-pint plastic containers I’d ordered several weeks earlier. I am genuinely thrilled — with dime-a-dozen plastic containers, no less. I take them for granted in New York but have none in Paris. This small moment brings a greater appreciation of what I have in my life, not what I lack.

Do or learn something new; go somewhere you’ve never explored. Time slows when you are in the midst of discovery, in situations where you don’t know the next step or the outcome. Read something that challenges your thinking. Take different routes on your usual walk. Change your usual routine — in essence, surprise yourself. Routines anchor us, but they also make the day go faster, because you know what’s coming next.

Work harder to seek out newness as you get older! Marc Wittmann, who has done many studies on the perception of time, notes that novelty can be more elusive as you settle down and take on more responsibility. Been there done that. Fewer firsts. Less free time. But it’s still worth trying.

The more changing experiences we have, the longer subjective duration in retrospect. We all know this effect very well. For example, a weekend spent with our usual routines at home passes very quickly. In contrast, a weekend when we travel to a new place and explore it with a good friend lasts subjectively much longer.

Be kind to yourself. If you’re new to working at home, and perhaps accustomed to other people managing your time, being in charge of your own work flow can be stressful. Are your deadlines getting to you? In one study, Marc Wittmann asked participants to respond to time metaphors and found that those between ages 20 and 59..

…are more likely to select statements referring to ‘time pressure,’ or the notion that time is speeding by and that one can’t finish all they want to do in the time allotted.

So…are those deadlines real — or self-imposed? Answer honestly and then pace yourself. It might help to write down what you want to accomplish and when you might get to it — or not. A life “hack” that works for others is useless if it doesn’t suit you. Don’t judge yourself. Just pay attention and give yourself a break.

And if all else fails, a recent study found that listening to great music or watching funny videos — happy babies are the best — will not only put you in a better mood, it will boost your creativity and make you more open to new ideas.

Watch yourself getting through the day. Time researchers have found that mystics, meditators and pot smokers all feel as if time slows down. So do people in death-defying situations — an accident in which your life passes before your eyes. Oddly enough, Wittmann points out, extreme boredom can also be “experienced as a lengthening of time.”

Perhaps the quickest (and maybe even the safest!) way to stretch time is to pay closer attention to yourself. What’s going on when you feel bored or lonely or frustrated or panicked that time is going by too quickly? Mindfulness itself may or may not change your perception of time, but slowing yourself reduces stress, improves physical health, and puts you in a more receptive state of mind.

My dear (departed) Aunt Ruth, a woman whose wisdom I cherish every day, often said, “I can’t control what happens. I can control how I react to it.”

In the same vein, we can’t magically make the pandemic go away. It’s likely to be Groundhog’s Day everywhere for the next many more months or even years. (I left my crystal ball in the States!) But we can change our perspective.