It's Complicated
Be it relationships, life, career, or even day-to-day decisions, for most of us, everything can explained by the words ’It’s complicated.’ A few days back, I went to Subway (the fast food chain, not the metro). Usually, my friend orders, but it was only me this time. I knew they asked for particular details, but I naively thought how difficult it could be; when I went to the counter, the barrage of questions asked by the counter guy bogged me down. I missed my friend.
It felt like an interrogation; I had never considered such questions before. It was a moment of introspection about what kind of bread I like, whether I would prefer monetary or pepper jack cheese, or my choice of veggies(it’s veggies; what choices can you give me). The counter guy also seemed to be a tad irritated at me being a Sub illiterate. I somehow survived the ordeal and gave the order for my eccentric sub. The whole incident made me realize that, just like my sub, life has become complicated, too, hence the further commentary.
We are all complex multicellular organisms. Our body has complex processes that make us function; for some, complications start at birth. Complications come in different shapes and sizes. The doctors often find that the yet-to-be-born baby has developed complications. For some, it's childhood; their parents don't get along, the trauma stays forever, or they are bullied way too much in school. For a few others, it's the wrong career decisions that land them in the lousy job with an extensive education loan to pay back., while others chose the wrong life partner.
Complications might come from bowing down to social pressures. For instance, one can easily be stressed about not being able to buy a premium car since everyone in his social circle drives an expensive SUV. He might take a loan that he can not afford to buy the car he doesn't need, which will eventually trouble his finances, leading to financial complications, and then he can proudly claim it's complicated. But for some, it is not a choice. It is the way their life is, though it is not necessary that it has to stay the same.
Emotions make us even more complex. Sometimes, a person might get emotional and say things that mess up the whole relationship with a loved one. Actions may speak louder than words, but words can pierce through the heart like shrapnel, causing irreparable damage; it's always complicated in matters of the heart. There are some people in your life whom you don't know whether to love or hate, and this cocktail of emotions gives you a terrible hangover every now and then. (that too without the high)
Life gets increasingly complicated with age as more and more responsibilities and mistakes add up, and you have to handle the consequences of your mistakes and take responsibility for the decisions. Your decisions could impact your loved ones. We struggle to balance commitments, desires, social compulsions, and dreams. Interestingly, some of us even love the drama that comes with complications.
But the question is, Can we make our life less complicated if we want to? Though the answer would depend on the individual's situation, most of us can reduce the amount of complications in our lives. We have to look at the source of complications, whether the family, the spouse, the job, or the finances are causing complications.
If it is the job, figure out what you really like doing and hone that skill, cut back on entertainment, or even sleep less if you have to, and when you have achieved a level of excellence, change the damn job; if it's the finances, change to a more humble lifestyle, it won't be easy, but real solutions are rarely easy in life. It worked for many people I know and is working for me, too. I got married after a five-year-long relationship, yet it broke down within six months. But during my period of quasi-depression and uncoolness, I read from Taoism and Geeta, and I learned that sometimes we have to let it be and let the natural course of events take place.
If it's the spouse, try making amends to the relationship. If you have to change certain habits or give some concessions, you should do that, but despite your best efforts, things don't change. It's better to get separated. There is no point in flogging a dead horse. (Unless they eat horses where you live).
There will always be some complications in life, but we should keep them to a non-overwhelming level. Like everything else, these complications are also not permanent. Corona has reminded us that life is uncertain; our possessions, relationships, and plans could instantly become meaningless if the Almighty decides to blow the time-out whistle on us.
