This is total C.R.A.Z.Y. (cray cray in genzese)
It’s Already Black Friday WeekS at Smillew Inc. Oh My, Oh My, Oh My!!!
Offers you have not seen anywhere else. That’s a 110% guaranteed Smillew promise.
I’m so excited about all the fantastic offers I prepared for you that I’m just going to share the best one straight away.
For any $2 that you give me (link), I’ll give myself TWO MORE.
YES!!!!
You heard it right. It’s a 100% match, and that’s not the kind of offer you see daily.
It’s only for Black Friday WeekS at Smillew Inc.
The second offer is a repeat from last year because many of you have begged us to make it come back.
Write an article where I’m the hero — antihero, garbageman, superman, scammerman, your choice, no problem.
For each minute of reading time, I will tweet a link to my thousands of followers on X.
That’s a 110% guaranteed Smillew Promise (special offer for Black Friday WeekS).
These two offers are incredible, and many of my competitors are already crying because they had only one (1) offer for Black Friday WeekS. But at Smillew Inc. we’re different. I have many many other offers for you, my friends.
I kid you not.
Next offer.
Read ANY of my articles. Your choice 100%. If you leave me a comment, I will reply with a link to another one of my articles.
YES!!!!
I know! I know it’s completely crazy.
And that’s why I will do this only to the end of Black Friday WeekS. It’s limited in time, I’m sorry. But during this timeframe, it’s as many articles as you can read.
I’m not joking here.
Leave as many comments as you want, and each time I will reply with a new link. If it were me, I would be jumping up and down on my seat in front of my computer and spitting coffee everywhere on the walls out of excitement.
This leads me straight to offer number four.
If you become a founding member of my Top Hat Seminar on Substack (the so-called GENIUS tier) before the end of Black Friday WeekS, no matter where you live in the world -
Yes. It’s a world-wide offer. We’re not afraid to deliver worldwide at Smillew Inc.
If you subscribe to the Genius tier, I will send you a pack of my favorite coffee.
Yes. It’s very generous. But if you’re not generous during Black Friday WeekS, when are you?
At Christmas?
For my birthday?!
And now, offer number 5 (five), and it will be the last one for today because I know it’s a lot to take in, and I want to preserve you for the many offers and many weeks to come before the end of Black Friday WeekS.
Plot twist: they don’t end.
Two Boosts for the price of one
If you’re a booster or know someone who is, this offer is for you.
Boost any of my stories, your choice, 100% your choice. I won’t influence you — whatsoever. Please. Fiction, non-fiction, funny, not funny, no problem for me.
I respect your refined taste.
Boost any of my stories, and I will write the same story, except a bit differently, so you can boost another one for free. That’s an easy additional $45 for you. I would take it if I were a booster like you.
Bonus Special Offer
If you choose to take advantage of all the special offers mentioned in this article, I will follow you back!!!
See you next week for more Black Friday WeekS Smillew Specials. Or ask me for a preview on Substack if you’re too impatient.