Genuine Growth Doesn’t Show Up On Your Business Bottom Line

Five Humbling Lessons From An Entrepreneur

I sat in the bathroom of the conference center inside the cubicle, sobbing on the phone to my husband.

“I really want to sign up for this business coaching program, but it’s $25,000. It’s all the daycare money we’ve saved.”

I was terrified. He supported me. We made it happen.

I convinced myself because of the safe guarantee. “If you put in the work, you’ll make back your investment within a year.” That’s what the contract said.

They paired me with coach Dr. Eugene Choi, who didn’t teach me much about business strategy, although he knew his stuff. He told me I had more strategy knowledge than I needed. He wanted me to focus on my limiting beliefs.

Every bit of resistance in me showed up. I wanted business guidance, not inside work.

I watched students around me soar while I was landlocked.

I never made back my financial investment, but I gained a lot more.

There are so many things you can’t plan for when you build your dream. It’s a head trip, it’s overwhelming, and it brings all of your monsters out of the closet.

But it’s worth it. You learn much more than business. You learn how to become more you.

1. You’re Here To Serve

When you set your sights on entrepreneurship, it’s not just for the money and the freedom. You want to have some kind of positive impact. Make something, solve something. Give something of yourself.

You want to give your best.

But a voice inside nags you with questions like:

What if they don’t like it?

What if no one buys it?

What if someone has already done this?

This voice paralyzes you from doing genuine work. You know how this plays out: procrastination, working on too many things at once, giving up too soon, and so on.

My coach said that courage is selfless, and fear is selfish. When you fear the outcome of your work so much that you freeze, you’re no longer in service to others.

And if you don’t put your work out in the world, you deprive the world of your light. It becomes about your ego.

But if you’re building a business and not just a hobby, you solve a problem. Your work helps people.

Consider the quality of your work, knowing you can’t please everyone, but still give your best. Once you’ve released it, it’s not yours to control.

When you reframe things this way, maybe even one person’s life will change because of what you do.

And it then becomes about serving that one person.

2. It’s All in Your Head

I had a magical mother who gave me all the love and support in the world. I got hugs and good food, guidance, and more. But I didn’t learn about grit or growth mindset.

We didn’t have kids’ books about self-acceptance like we do today. We didn’t have Carol Dweck.

Whether you’re just starting a business, or feeling stuck, don’t neglect the work that really matters.

Understand your mind. Make friends with your brain and learn how it works. Don’t do what everyone else tells you because only you know what works.

If you’re like me you may have devoured self-help and productivity books like bibles of truth. When you don’t measure up, they have the opposite effect. They make you feel small, and you stagnate.

No amount of other peoples’ business strategies or productivity frameworks can build resilience and emotional stamina.

You need to do your own work.

Entrepreneurship is an opportunity to work on the fragile parts of yourself and become strong, while you’re on the journey.

3. You’re Not Who you Think You Are

What image have you created of yourself? I was flexible, creative, open-minded, and growth-oriented. My actions said otherwise.

If you’re a creator, you need to create.

If you’re a writer, you need to write.

Can you call yourself an entrepreneur if you don’t ship your work?

When you become an entrepreneur, you have no choice but to deal with the real you, the lovable and the loathsome. You become painfully self-aware.

It can take years to discover small yet important pieces of yourself.

If you don’t like who you’ve discovered, you can change. Working on your business and yourself are inseparable.

You can look at entrepreneurship as slowly revealing your true self. If you’re not authentic, everything will feel off.

Ask yourself:

‘Who do I want to be?’

Discover the qualities and experiences that will help you be that person. You can develop them through your work.

4. Your World is Other Peoples’ World

My husband was not technically part of my business, but he carried a lot of the load. He shouldered my stories, my stress, and my heartache.

He rolled up his sleeves and did the dirty work too; carting stuff to my cooking classes, baking with me in the wee hours of the morning in our basement. He was my constant cleanup crew. For a while, his life was not his own.

If you’re thinking of becoming an entrepreneur, talk to your partner, include them, as they will be part of the whirlwind. Especially in the beginning as you’re figuring things out. Depending on the type of work you choose, they become more involved than you can imagine.

Entrepreneurship may not be their dream, but it’s yours, and they’re going on this emotional roller-coaster with you.

For better, or for worse.

When you sign up for partnership or entrepreneurship, that’s how it goes.

Be mindful of how your dream will change life for those around you.

5. Income is Tied To Self-Worth and Old Stories

I don’t have an outstanding relationship with money, yet.

I know money doesn’t define me as a person. But the way I thought about it was the primary reason I didn’t make more of it.

Two decades of bootstrapping it in the nonprofit sector, and my scarcity mindset found its way onto my bank statement.

I didn’t think I could make enough. So I didn’t.

I also spent a lot of money on shiny objects like courses and software. It’s not that they weren’t good, I just didn’t need 99 percent of them. I didn’t think I knew enough, I needed more.

I didn’t market myself or build content anyone would see.

I didn’t charge what my work was worth, and I let people bargain me down. When I did charge more, it felt awkward.

It all came down to mindset.

All entrepreneurs would make more money if they did some inner work before mapping out their business plans. Unpacking the money stories we’ve been carting through life is critical work.

Rich people suck, good people are poor martyrs, and money will corrupt you. These stories can be true. Yet they can also be untrue. Having no money does not make you a good person. It makes you more anxious and unhappy.

It drives you to do things you don’t love.

Financial acumen, good marketing knowledge, and communication are cornerstones of building a business. But you cannot build a business or a life without self-worth and a good money mindset.

Is It Worth It?

Learning business can be simple. Learning to master your mind and your ego? Not so much.

You may be an entrepreneur or have been one. Maybe it’s a dream on the back burner. Even if you don’t start a full-time business, and decide to ditch the 9–5, create something.

There’s nothing like it.

Entrepreneurship is like parenting, in some ways. You’re raising a child or an idea. But it’s mostly about raising yourself. It is a messy process, but it’s cathartic and peppered with powerful insights. It demands a dose of crazy, but that’s what’s so exciting about it.

It challenges your relationships with your partner, your kids, your friends, and yourself. It makes you reevaluate the meaning of work.

I closed my business a few months ago, but the costs of those ten years are paying off in dividends. The key lessons I learned were things that far outweighed any six-figure salary.

They’re simple yet important:

• You’re here to serve others. Share your imperfection with the world
• Never run from discomfort. Ask what it can teach you
• Learn from others, but not too much
• Practice authenticity, until it comes naturally
• Be mindful of your loved ones, they’re in it with you
• Money won’t come until you make peace with it, and yourself

I think a lot of creators would agree that the lessons they have learned during their experience are not because of the business, but because of who they need or needed to become to build their dream.

So yes, it’s worth it.