It Wouldn’t Be Christmas Without a Little Family Drama

A Tale of Undiagnosed ADHD, Going Rogue, and Sabotage at Christmas

As the holidays come to a close this year I need to get something off of my chest. I usually write about health or finance but today I need to vent about some good old-fashioned family drama. I hope you don’t mind.

Does anyone else have a family member that for some reason just gets under your skin? You still love them because they’re family but some days you’d love to grab them by the shoulders and give them a good shake. Okay maybe that was a little harsh but you get my point.

For me, it’s my sister-in-law. Let’s call her Tina.

Tina has been a part of our family for almost 20 years. She is married to my older brother who is not the easiest person to deal with. For that, I give her a lot of credit. She’s a very patient and understanding person.

Overall, my sister-in-law is a pretty wonderful person except for one thing.

She’s a bit of a scatter-brain. Make that a major scatterbrain. She’s the kind of person that when you’re having a conversation, you can see her drift off and know she isn’t listening to a thing you are saying.

Is it ADHD or some kind of treatable disorder? Maybe, but she laughs about her absent-mindedness and never takes it seriously.

After years of her missing family engagements and jumbling up important information, I don’t find it the least bit funny.

I think being a medical professional makes it even more frustrating. I’ve tried bringing it up to her several times but she always just laughs it off. Knowing that there is most likely a solution to her problem and she won’t help herself makes me nuts.

So after years of her not listening to what I’m saying, I just pretend it’s fine. How can you help someone who won’t help themselves? As a nurse, I’ve come to accept it but when it’s your own family, it’s entirely different.

Now that I’ve explained the root of the problem, let me go on to tell you the ridiculous yet irritating reason for my writing.

Every year my extended family gets together at my parent’s house for Christmas dinner and our gift exchange. I love the holidays and look forward to spending time with my family except for this one thing. It’s now become a thing, unfortunately.

Every holiday season, Tina calls asking for gift ideas for my three children. We agree on a budget and I give her a few presents off of the kids’ lists. Sounds simple right??? Wrong.

Christmas comes and the kids are hoping to get the items they asked for. They excitedly unwrap their gifts and then all hell breaks loose.

Aunt Tina decides to go rogue and not buy off the list.

Now, it’s not like she gets the wrong Xbox game or the wrong color Barbie car. No, she gets them stuff that isn’t even age-appropriate for them.

Like, come on Aunt Tina! You have to know that your niece hasn’t played with Peppa Pig for at least 8 years!??!!

Why even ask what they want if you don’t plan on getting it? Look, I have no problem if she wanted to pick out stuff for them herself but at least try to make it age-appropriate or the right size.

She is notorious for buying the wrong sizes of clothing and shoes too. Last year I received a pajama set in a size XXL. I wear a size small.

Year after year I give her another chance to get it right but it ends in another epic failure. So this year I was like NO WAY, I’m not letting this happen again. She called and I said, all the kids want gift cards. How can you mess up gift cards, right? Problem solved.

What I didn’t know was that Tina overheard my dad talking about getting my daughter a balance beam. My daughter loves gymnastics and really wanted this balance beam to practice on at home. It was small and compact so it wouldn’t take up the whole rec room.

So without my knowledge, Tina tells my dad that her sister bought one for her daughter but she changed her mind and now was trying to get rid of it. My dad being oblivious to all the past drama gives her the info and dimensions and Tina says it’s the same one.

Wow! What are the chances of that?!?!

So my dad is happy he doesn’t have to order it from Amazon and goes down and picks up the box from her house. I am not aware of any of this at this point.

Late after church on Christmas Eve, my amazing dad comes over to put the balance beam together for me. At around midnight, he calls up the stairs with confusion in his voice. He says “I’m sorry hun, I don’t think this is a balance beam.”

I come downstairs to investigate and see long pink pieces of metal everywhere and no balance beam in sight! As we continued to follow the directions to put this monstrosity together it ended up being an enormous gymnastics bar. Like uneven bars in a gymnastics studio but just one. Not anything close to a small non-discrete balance beam.

This bar takes up half of my rec room now. It also requires professional mats and chalk which I did not have and could not get at 1 am Christmas morning.

My dad feels terrible that he got the wrong gift. I keep telling him it’s okay and make light of the situation with jokes because I don’t want to make him feel any worse.

However, something just doesn’t feel right. My father never makes mistakes like this. He always has an attention to detail and would not have purchased something without checking all the details and dimensions.

I asked to see the online receipt in his email so maybe I can return it or switch it after the holiday. Then he says “I bought it from Tina. She said it was the exact one you were looking for!!!” What????

All the puzzle pieces came together with perfect precision in my head.

Aunt Tina strikes again!!!

I’m still in awe of how this woman has sabotaged yet another Christmas. It’s starting to feel personal at this point. This time it wasn’t just blatantly buying the wrong gift. She took advantage and lied to my poor dad. Why???

I still don’t know why she does these things. I’m not sure if she intentionally or absent-mindedly gives me hives every Christmas but she does.

In other aspects of my life, she’s great. When I need a babysitter, she’s there in a pinch. She’s also great to my parents and my children. I just don’t get it.

Do I still love her, absolutely. In the end, my daughter loved her new gymnastics bar despite it being huge. However, when the kids grow up I will be elated to never swap presents with her at Christmas again.

Do you have anyone in your family that drives you crazy?? How would you handle someone in your family that you think has an underlying ADHD or mental health diagnosis that won’t help themselves?

I hope you all have a Happy and Healthy New Year’s Eve!!!

Thanks so much for all of your support! Jan Sebastian 🖐👩‍🦰 Sophia Tell- Stories 🤓📢🤓 Marcus Musick Sweet Honeylu Britt E. Shanti C K The LARO ✨✨ Alexia Walsh BSN, RN krista tressa Zara Le Roux Kerrin Maher