It Was Me — An Entropic Expansion

Summary

A poet collaborated with three writers to revise an older poem, "It Was Me," by incorporating their critiques and expanding it with new verses to reflect multiple perspectives and the impact of a global event, such as a lockdown.

Abstract

The author engaged in a creative endeavor with fellow writers Trista Ainsworth, Chirag, and Suntonu Bhadra to reimagine the poem "It Was Me." This collaborative project involved critiquing each other's work, which led to the poem's transformation through the addition of three new verses. The process was likened to an "entropic expansion," moving from order to disorder to create beauty. The original poem, which was introspective, evolved to include external voices and perspectives, prompted by the writers' feedback. The new verses reflect the birds, the world, and the people responding to the narrator's observations, emphasizing themes of perception, human connection, and freedom in the context of a lockdown.

Opinions

Suntonu Bhadra suggested the poet consider alternative perspectives, imagining responses from nature and humanity.
Chirag encouraged the poet to find beauty in others, shifting the focus outward.
Trista Ainsworth advised highlighting the significance of the 'new world' to the poet.
The poet acknowledges the value of the feedback received, which was instrumental in the poem's evolution.
The revised poem includes a dialogue with the birds, the world, and the virus, presenting a multifaceted view of reality and human experience.
The poet reflects on the personal transformation that occurred during the lockdown, expressing a newfound freedom and altered perception of the world.

Rebuilding an existing poem through collaborative artistry

I selected one of my older poems for a collaborative project with three writers Trista Ainsworth Chirag and Suntonu Bhadra. The task was to critique selected poetry from each other, then to use the feedback to rewrite the poem.

I called it an entropic expansion — from order to disorder, in order to create beauty. The original poem was entitled, It was me, and focused on my internal reflection of things I had observed.

Suntonu Bhadra asked me to bring another perspective. If I allowed the birds, the world and the people to respond, what would they say?

Chirag challenged me to see the beauty in others.

Trista Ainsworth wanted me to highlight what this new world meant to me.

With this useful feedback, I added three new verses to the original poem.

It was me

Where I thought the birds sang louder, it was me. I heard better. Where I though the world moved slower, it was me. I stopped. Where I thought people were kinder, it was me. I no longer judged. Where I thought lockdown freed the world from a virus, it was me. I had been set free.

The birds tweeted and asked ‘what do you hear;’ The world stopped and said ‘but you are still moving’ The virus responded, ‘the human race will never be free.’

Until the day, they’d rather listen than speak pause, and not rush fearful but free

I looked at the new world through new eyes, eyes cleared by a virus that did not believe.