It Turns Out People Actually Want To Be My Friend
I regret not putting in more effort to foster friendships.

Do you find that people naturally gravitate towards you? Do they enjoy your company, initiating conversations and meetings, expressing how good your presence makes them feel? If so, chances are, these individuals genuinely want to be in your life, to be your friend, and to spend time with you. It’s up to you to recognize these signals and nourish the connection (unlike me, who doesn’t do her part and wonders why she doesn’t have any friends).
For the longest of time, I held on to unhelpful beliefs, such as “true friendships don’t exist”, and if they do, “they are too rare to come across”. I believed there were no genuine people for me to become friends with, so I didn’t bother reaching out to people or fostering connections. I hate superficiality and small talk and used this as an excuse not to socialize, without realizing I didn’t even give people the chance to delve deeper into heartfelt topics before switching off.
This behavior has been a constant in my life and it always made me feel sad and isolated. I wanted to have friends, but I didn’t put in the effort to maintain friendships, which is obviously a vicious cycle that enforces negative beliefs and makes me feel lonely. It wasn’t until I recently spoke to a person who is trying to be my friend that it hit me. She’s nice, we have so many things in common and we vibed from day one. Why am I not reaching out to her to hang out?
Often, people want to befriend us, but we’re closed off and fail to recognize their overtures. We may unknowingly push them away and then blame them for not taking the initiative. However, genuine friendships require mutual effort; we can’t expect others to do all the work. This raises the question: What lies at the root of our fear of letting others in? Is it fear of rejection, or is it something deeper?
I am on a quest to find out what is holding me back, and, whilst doing so, I’ll start reaching out to those who want to be in my life and see what happens. Perhaps I’ll finally be able to share stories about friendships as well, and how they help us grow, rather than just writing about the absence of friends.
