It Takes More than Being Hired As One to Make Me A Salesman

The wisdom of intuition if only we remember how to hear it

I had moved to Portland, Oregon, from Springfield, MO- just a couple thousand miles down the road — only 16 months before. The call center whose corporate ladder I thought I might climb closed, and they let 400+ employees go. I had to keep the lights on.

The next job presented itself to me just a few months later. I went in for orientation and learned all about this “fantastic opportunity.” When I look back, I realize I might have done well to realize something from the get go:

I needed a job and a way to pay my rent. I didn’t need the promise of the chance to make lots and lots of money.

If It Looks Like an MLM…

I struggle with this assessment. This is not a call out of any specific business, though, so I’ll be candid. I’m sure that for the right person? With a different set of core beliefs than mine? It would be right up their alley.

I beat myself up over it, over the time I spent in the company. Maybe the core belief I really needed was simply one that said this: If you Will yourself to feel good about a thing, you can. Rather, I didn’t have faith in insurance — as a business — to do the right thing.

I might not be so hard on myself if I hadn’t already been given the chance to learn this lesson. No less than four times before. With vacuums, with jewelry, with vitamin supplements. With life insurance.

No more than you can ever rush your healing, you can’t learn something before you’re ready to learn it. I wrote another piece about how it took me seven times to learn that lesson. I should give myself a break!

Is It Still Work If There’s No Paycheck?

The work itself was another thing entirely. There were phone calls. There were qualified leads. There were in-house visits. There was a script. All these combined to set the stage.

Members of a group filled out cards. Their membership entitled them to certain perks. We called and arranged a meet to explain the perks. With a running head start, we leapt, bounced, and dove right in to other things. That they could buy.

We entered as friends. We engaged with them. Smiled a lot. Spoke with them about what mattered. What they truly wanted to protect the most. What the value of that protection was in proportion to other things that cost money. Then we got quiet and encouraged them to think.

What if your family didn’t have you to rely on?

I didn’t get paid unless they decided to buy a policy.

I Unpack My Doubt

I believe in life insurance. I still don’t have it. Is that because I’ve never been approached by someone who says they genuinely care? Who encourages me to consider all that is at risk? Who makes me think about my loved ones in my absence? Maybe.

My first philosophy professor was an insurance investigator by day. In a conversation I had with him years after I graduated, I asked about my doubt. Somewhere I had learned to reason that insurance companies can only make money if they don’t pay out on claims.

He countered — from his years and years of work experience — the companies make more than enough money from the premiums. He countered that many, many false claims are made. The actual, just, and real ones filed, though? They get paid out.

In my own experience, every time I’ve collected on an insurance payout, it has been a blessing. Fender benders. Severe accidents. Unemployment. Even my grandmother’s life insurance. It wasn’t the thing I sold. I couldn’t convince myself that the ends justified the means.

How I Felt

Like a handkerchief dropped by a Shakespearean villain. An instrument to instill doubt. In their homes! I could only enter if they invited me. I approached as an educator. They trusted me.

I used the trust to learn about their lives. I felt like if I wanted to do my job and make money at it? If I wanted to be celebrated? I had to terrify. I had to promise the payout would help fix things.

With everything considered, it would be better to have a windfall of financial resources than not. No doubt about it.

I can’t deny that I just felt icky when I used their confessions as a leverage point for a sale.

Past Performance Is The Best Indicator

Invested hours and hours of my life. Drove hundreds of miles. Talked on the phone. I made a few sales. Regardless of whether I believed in the product or not, I couldn’t buy in to the method. This fact troubled me.

I had to keep the lights on, after all.

I could practice mantras. I could memorize scripts. I could even want what the company promised. What I couldn’t do was change who I was. I considered the question my last manager asked me.

“Where do you see yourself in five years with the company?”

Honestly, I couldn’t see myself with the company for another five weeks.

Inside, We Know

There are a great many things advertised in this world. They beg of our attention. They feed us desire in big scoops. At the end of the day, though? If we’re lucky, we can still hear a small voice inside. When we’re on the right track and have faith in what we do? The voice sings us to sleep.

My voice? It sobbed. It kept me up. It wouldn’t let me sleep.

When I’ve tried to deny it and trick myself, I’ve ended up with regret. Hard-earned, harder-lost regret. The voice is what slaps me and demands that I snap out of it.

What does your voice tell you? Can you hear it? You know that it knows what’s up. Whatever you do, don’t ignore it. Listen.

In veritas, MW Mercer

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