Summary

The author describes the onset of "Man Spring," a seasonal phenomenon where men exhibit unusual hunting-like behavior towards women, often leading to uncomfortable encounters.

Abstract

As spring arrives, the author observes a peculiar shift in male behavior characterized by aggressive flirting and stalking-like conduct, which they liken to a hunting season. This "Man Spring" is marked by men's attempts to approach women in public spaces, as seen in the anecdote of a man in a muscle tank top who twice crossed paths with the author under odd circumstances. The author expresses frustration over these interactions, emphasizing the discomfort caused by such invasions of personal space and the inappropriateness of being pursued without consent. Despite the warmer weather, the author did not anticipate this seasonal change in social dynamics and is eager for summer to arrive, signaling an end to these unsettling experiences.

Opinions

The author is surprised by the sudden onset of "Man Spring" each year despite its predictability.
The author perceives the behavior of men during this time as abnormal and intrusive.
The author believes that men's springtime behavior, such as following women or standing too close, is akin to treating women as prey.
The author is not interested in the advances of these men and finds their actions to be a nuisance rather than flattering.
The author suggests that direct communication would be preferable to the indirect and unsettling approaches observed during "Man Spring."
The author's experience reflects a broader pattern of uncomfortable encounters with men during the transition from winter to spring.

It Must Be Man Spring

The dudes are out acting like it’s hunting season

First Signs of Man Spring

There are many obvious signs of spring: lots of rain, buds of flowers poking out of the earth, allergies rampaging. The usual.

But the sign that never fails to surprise me every single year: men out on the hunt. Usually for women, but quite possibly for men and I haven’t noticed because I’m too busy avoiding the men out on the hunt for me.

Weather where I live has been really strange this year, though, so it’s taken a while for me to notice the signs of Man Spring.

That is, until yesterday, when I noticed a guy walking toward me wearing a muscle tank top. He stood out among everyone else walking down the street at rush hour because everyone else had on long sleeves and/or jackets. It was a nice day but not that nice.

Muscle shirt guy also stood out to me because of the fact that his eyes looked like they had red triangles, possibly from crying, underneath. I might’ve looked at him too long because my brain was trying to think why this very buff guy might be upset enough to cry.

But we never made eye contact. It was just me looking, processing, making up stories because I’m a writer and that’s what I do. And then he was gone.

Meanwhile my brain still wondered:

Did his trainer work him too hard? Did he lose a bet so he had to wear the muscle shirt outside? Did someone steal his hoodie with Buff Bitch across the front?

I walked away, not thinking that he’d even noticed me. This happened in a sea of people at rush hour so I figured I’d just blend in. I cut across and down a side street because I was sick of wading through hordes of people.

Then, out of the blue, muscle shirt was in front of me. Huh? He was going the opposite way. On the other side of the street back there. Why was he now in front of me?

There was no mistaking him. He was wearing a freaking muscle shirt with triangle redness under his eyes. I’d made up stories about him in my head. He’s not the kind of person I’d forget two minutes later.

He walked a few paces in front of me then turned to look at me over his shoulder. He looked so hard I thought he was going to fall over.

I went with the granny glare return stare because I really wasn’t in the mood to play this weird game. Especially since I didn’t even know what that game was. At least my granny glare seemed to scare him off as he turned his head around and continued walking ahead at a faster pace.

Then I wondered:

Oh god, does he think I was interested in him?

Men Get Weird When Spring Hits

Despite the warmer temperatures, I’d forgotten it was spring and that men get weird when spring hits. There’s something in the air that makes men think it’s time to hunt.

Maybe it’s pheromones or maybe it’s wearing fewer layers (although I was still in my light winter coat yesterday so I’m pretty sure that wasn’t it), but every year, I have at least a dozen bizarre encounters with men as the seasons go from winter into spring.

I wouldn’t mind so much if these were men I had even a remote interest in. But they’re always random guys, often with whom I don’t even make eye contact, like this guy, who do this tracking thing.

Doubling back to follow a woman down a quiet street just to stare her down isn’t normal behaviour. If you want to talk to me, talk to me. Don’t stalk me like I’m prey. Because, as I say in my bio, I sometimes bite.

If you want to talk to me, talk to me. Don’t stalk me like I’m prey.

Don’t Stand So Close To Me

I would’ve brushed the whole thing aside if today hadn’t happened.

I had not one, not two, but three random dudes come and stand so close to me at street corners that I could feel their body heat.

I’d move a pace away. They’d move a pace closer. There was absolutely no one on the other side of them. And there was no reason for this to happen.

It was this horrible dance and I was an unwilling partner.

“Bloody spring,” I muttered to myself.

Even talking to myself didn’t scare them away.

One even tried to chat me up about the streetlight.

I ignored him and made my way across the street as soon as I could.

Bloody Spring

None of these things, individually, are all that unusual, at least not for someone who seems to always attract strange men.

But when there’s a convergence of men being weird, that’s when I know it must be Man Spring. Bloody Man Spring.

Isn’t it summer yet?

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