“It Is What It Is”
“There’s nothing we can do about it”
Ladies and gentlemen,
I present to you a paradoxical cliché, that can make its appearence in various situations and fluctuates between being unquestionably true and completely false.
Before beginning to write this article, I made sure to do my research in hopes of discovering how this saying came to be. Unfortunately, the original source remains unknown for now. The Quotes Dictionary tells us that “the earliest known written reference dates back to just 1949, according to the New York Times. The phrase appeared in a column written by J. E. Lawrence in the Nebraska State Journal.”
Now let’s talk about what it means, which is kinda “figureoutable”, yet the Quotes Dictionary offers two examples of how “it is what it is” can be used in a conversation:
- “When someone says this, it’s often an expression of frustration or resigned acceptance of a situation. It’s usually used to answer a question that cannot be adequately answered.”
- “When someone asks why something bad happened, the person to blame may have already apologized. When there’s nothing left to say or no way to answer questions about what happened, “It is what it is” puts an end to the conversation, usually with a shrug. It’s another way of saying, “I don’t like it either, but there’s nothing we can do about it.”
The fact that “it is what it is” is an expression of frustration and resigned acceptance, as well as a way of putting an end to a conversation because people are too lazy to look for solutions drives me nuts.
More often than not it is used in a completely meaningless way, coming from a place of “I can’t genuinely accept the situation but I am just going to say these words as if I can”, which is…highly hypocritical. But you don’t actually feel it. You don’t believe it. And, more importantly, you don’t understand what that kind of acceptance implies. That authentic, compassionate, peaceful “it is what it is” is RARE. As humans with highly active imaginations, we rarely genuinely experience those kind of states of mind.
Ending a conversation that way is even worse. You really can’t think of anything else to say? I know these words carry a profound truth with them, BUT, as I previously mentioned, it is rare that we can honestly say we embrace that truth. Resistance to reality is more common than acceptance of reality, hence “it is what it is” will not be the most empowering and supportive thing you can say to someone. Unless you mean it, unless you feel it and believe it, don’t say it. Just don’t.
It’s true that we have little to no control over some situations and outcomes. It’s true that sometimes IT IS WHAT IT IS. But then there’s also some moments, some opportunities, some choices that can be made to change the “it is what it is” to IT IS WHATEVER I MAKE IT. There’s times when “there’s nothing we can do about it” can become “there’s plenty we can do about it, if we put our mind to it, if we invest energy, time and other resources, IF we don’t take the EASY way out, the shortcut, while adopting a victim mindset.”
And that’s that, guys. Oh wait, is “and that’s that” the same as “it is what it is?”. Oh no.
Now I have given myself something to think about. Anyway…You got the point.
Thank you for your time!
