The Male Depression Pandemic Exists (But It Is Not The End)
Depression in men, especially in the young, is more common than you think.
Statistically, although women attempt more suicide than men, men are more likely to be successful in their attempts.
Let’s go through why I feel young men are sad and what one can do about it.
Glorified Dating Culture
When one steps into their teenage years, the peer pressure one feels towards dating is immense.
The pop culture that produces a million songs/movies/books on love each day makes one extremely insecure and likely to jump in the pursuit.
Falling prey, when one explores the dating culture, the chances that they will suck at the game are very high (like anything else that one is a beginner at).
Evolutionarily, as women are more likely to pick more resourceful mates, young men lose the game more often.
As an immature person, one is led into feeling unworthy.
These are the dialogues that I have commonly heard from my colleagues during my college days:
‘I will become a millionaire one day and she will regret leaving me.’
‘I will go to the gym, get fit and she will regret leaving me.’
‘Marriage and relationships are for losers.’
Do you know why these are so common?
This is because, from their centre of insecurity, one develops a feeling of revenge and hate towards women.
One develops a negative body image.
One changes their life’s purpose towards purely sexual motives.
Taking The Wrong Paths To Walk On
A young person’s brain is fueled by social validation.
Social validation is cocaine.
The ideas and pursuits that their friends and family praise become their personal motivations and goals.
When one tries these out and does not like those career paths, they either deny that they are dissatisfied and fail to stop and reflect (to please the perpetrators of their dreams) falling towards a feeling of emptiness.
On the other hand, start feeling that they are worthless and not intelligent enough.
Suppression Of Curiosity Towards Oneself & The External
As one is raised in a disciplinarian education system where one’s general curiosity towards oneself and the external world is suppressed, one never realizes why one acts the way they do and how reality works.
This makes them more susceptible to stupid external influences (e.g. the self-certified “alpha” Youtuber who teaches how to get the hottest girl around you) and vanity metrics (e.g. likes on social media).
What To Do About It?
Here are my tips on what do to.
1. Self Awareness Is Sexy
When one knows about oneself and why they act how they act, and why they do what they do, things change.
One does not overreact to failures in dating and career pursuits. One realizes the real worth of things and people around them.
Get Self-aware!
2. Normalize Going For Therapy
If you feel that you are suffering more, go for therapy.
Pause and silence the voices telling you to be a strong alpha man. Bullshit!
Speak to someone professional and work on your bad experiences from the years of trauma.
You will come out as a strong person as never before.
3. Say Bye To Bad Company
You are a combination of the five people you hang out with.
If you aspire to change yourself, drop your bad influences.
You do not have to become unsocial, you just have to change your social circle.
4. Get Curious Again, Try Out Things & Leave What You Don’t Like
Take calculated risks.
Try out more things to know what you actually love to do.
This can take many years, but imagine how great it would be to do something that you love to the core.
Be courageous enough to drop out of things that you feel that you do not enjoy, even when they deprive you of social validation.
Force yourself for this transformation.
Read a book on a subject that your never explored before, learn a new skill, take a challenge, go to the gym for better health, learn about nutrition and eating right, drop alcohol and smoking, talk to a stranger, travel more, start writing online.
The Biological Advantage
Even when nothing works out, remember that ageing is towards your side.
Older men are more attractive to women because they appear more resourceful than someone young.
They also appear more trustworthy to employers because they appear mature and experienced.
“I told my wife a man is like wine, he gets better with age. She locked me in the cellar.”
— Rodney Dangerfield
Chill out, buddy!
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