It happened in February
I Missed a Connection But Not the Embedded Message About Life
It all started with a dream earlier in the week.
Sridevi (an Indian, Bollywood actress; equivalent to the fame of let’s say a Julia Roberts in Hollywood) was visiting a city after 40 years. I was taking her around the city in a tri-cycle (also called a rickshaw). A lot had changed since the last time she was there. She found all the changes, the crowds, the colors around her all very stimulating. She then went on to thank me profusely for showing her around and that she was grateful for giving her this experience.
The dream also featured a small house with slimy frogs and lizards and a large multigenerational house. I entered this dream into my dream journal. I tried to backtrack to the previous day and evening to recollect if I had watched or read anything about the actress, and I hadn’t. She literally came out of the blue. She also came back from the dead! Sridevi died two years ago. A quick search on interpreting a dream with a dead actress didn’t yield great results. It ranged from “all your dreams will fail” to more specifically “your travel plans will fail.”
Later in the week, I had a planned trip with my two teenage kids to a sunny destination. I had booked direct flights but found out American Airlines had canceled that flight and rebooked us with a connection in Miami for one hour. I didn’t think much of it until we were at the gate to board the flight. Then came the announcement that there’s been a delay in the incoming aircraft and the departure was going to be delayed by 39 minutes. I asked the agent at the gate if we would make our connection with the one-hour layover. She said that sometimes they make up time in the air and we should be fine.
We stood in line to board the aircraft and all our cell phones went off at the same time. It was a sudden weather advisory about a squall. Great! I looked outside and a nice, sunny day turned into dark skies in a matter of five minutes. We were further delayed by 30 minutes. At that point, I told my kids to prepare for a night in Miami as we will likely not make the connection.
Once we arrived in Miami at 7:11 PM, I saw a message that the connecting flight leaving Miami was also delayed and would depart at 7:18 PM. My kids saw a sliver of hope. I thought, even if our bags don’t make it we could get on that flight. Of course, the departing gate had to be the farthest gate in the terminal. We started to run. I was half-laughing because I needed to pee and here I was running across the terminal. It was like a mini-marathon when I saw a few more people had joined us in our run. We got to the gate only to see that the flight was still at the terminal but the doors were closed.
We were 19 of us that needed to make that connection and missed it. What ensued was nothing short of Murphy’s Law in full effect. The line for rebooking was long and filled with disgruntled passengers. After another 80 minutes of waiting in that line and learning that all flights to our destination the following day (i.e., Sunday) were full, we got seats on the first flight out of Miami on Monday. Let’s make the best of being in Miami, I thought.
It was a little after 9 PM on a Saturday night. We went to reclaim our bags. The baggage agent said it would take anywhere from 45 mins — 4 hours to get our bags back. I was visualizing closer to the 45-mins mark and told the kids we could get something to eat in the meantime. The only place open was Subway. When was the last time you ate at Subway? I can’t remember either. I was happy with a bag of potato chips. My children got in line to get their food while I was looking for hotel rooms.
Fuck! You must be kidding me, I thought! The only two hotel rooms available were at the Ritz Carlton for $2900 and W Hotel for $1900? Everything else had been taken. Do you mean to say there is not a Days Inn or even a Motel Six with a room? Shit!
My children came back with half a sub each. I was never a fan of Subway, but when my daughter said her sub had chicken, pepperoni, AND bacon in it, I was like “no thank you! I’m happy with my bag of chips.” I had to break the news to them that we may have to camp out at the airport and check-in to a hotel the next day. They didn’t seem too phased and were good sports about it.
We found a spot next to several others who were fated to the night at the airport. I checked in every 45 minutes with the baggage claim desk but no bags were in sight. My children curled up and alternated between the chairs and the floor to sleep. I tried to get some shut-eye but nothing substantiative.
Surprisingly (more for myself), I was calm throughout this process. I didn’t want to get worked up and expend negative energy. I wanted to go with the flow. Control the controllables, I thought. At around 5 AM when folks for the morning shift arrived, I gave them a quick recap of my night at the airport. I asked them to submit the request for the bags again. It wasn’t until 7 AM when we got our bags. The first Hoorah!
We took an Uber to a hotel in South Beach Miami with the hope of spending a lovely Sunday out in the sun. The second hoorah was getting access to our room that early in the day. All three of us couldn’t wait to take a shower and crash for a few hours, and so we did. It wasn’t until we woke up that we slowly came to the realization that both my children weren't feeling too great. They both had upset stomachs with diarrhea and vomiting.
Lord, please have mercy! I called a friend, a gastrointestinal specialist, who recommended some over-the-counter medication. Thank goodness I was still Stateside with easy access to a CVS! Once they took some medicines, they were able to keep things down. I asked them to rest and went out to get some fresh air.
I started with a long walk and then settled at a small joint for dinner. I texted a friend and she called me immediately. She said, the dream! I had forgotten about the dream and I had forgotten that I shared the dream and its vague interpretation with her. All of this was pre-ordained and was going to happen. The dream was the premonition or at least prepared me for the inevitable. Maybe that’s why I was so calm and didn’t pop a nerve.
After enjoying my much-needed beer and noodles, I walked around window shopping and tried out some outfits in a store. I made my way back to the room in a couple of hours and found my children fast asleep. Let’s see what tomorrow has to offer, I thought. The plan was to either travel south to our destination or travel north to get back home. The children woke up feeling better and we ended up having a great time on our vacation.
Once I started to write down all the events that occurred over the 24 hour period, I categorized each event with a (+), a ( — ), or a (+/ — ) sign next to it. Although this was a subjective exercise, I came up with: ( — ) > (+) >(+/-). In short, more negatives than pluses. I had an epiphany at that moment — this is life!
It took me back to some of the teachings of the Dalai Lama. On the subject of problems or suffering, he contends that when we focus on finding a solution or viewing the problem with a different perspective, the problem becomes a challenge we can overcome.
How you perceive life as a whole plays a role in your attitude about suffering. For instance, if your basic outlook is that suffering is negative and must be avoided at all costs, and in some sense is a sign of failure, this will add a distinct psychological component of anxiety and intolerance when you encounter difficult circumstances, a feeling of being overwhelmed. On the other hand, if your basic outlook accepts that suffering is a natural part of your existence, this will undoubtedly make you more tolerant towards the adversities of life. — (HH Dalai Lama & Howard C. Cutler, 1998, p. 116).
Maybe the dream was just a forewarning and I expected to miss the flight all along. I sure didn’t envision cleaning up vomit on this vacation, but that’s one of the things I do as a mother. Did we need to go through these hardships to fully appreciate and enjoy what the vacation had to offer? Yes, because that’s the summary of life — life is filled with suffering and our life’s journey is in the pursuit of happiness. If we can stay positive and exercise both patience and tolerance, we will do better in facing and overcoming challenges.