The Writing Biz

Confessions of a Mediocre Writer: It Ain’t Easy Being Cheesy

Is it ok to just be ok?

Cheesy can be a pleasurable thing in certain circumstances. Like when talking about a helping of gooey and delicious mac & cheese. Chick-fil-A’s offering, for instance, is pretty darned good… and incredibly cheesy.

When it comes to writing though, being cheesy doesn’t tend to be such a great attribute at all — unless a person is writing jokes. Even then, it’s not exactly a compliment now, is it?

“Cheesy adjective (BAD STYLE): of bad quality or in bad taste” — CHEESY — Cambridge Dictionary

Admitting the truth to oneself isn’t always easy either. Particularly when it’s about something we love and are passionate about.

If someone says your writing is cheesy… or tasteless, boring or something else… yeah, this wouldn’t be such a great description:

Question is: is my own writing sometimes cheesy, tasteless, boring or sometimes just downright bad?

Perhaps.

Just because we have an immense amount of passion for something still doesn’t mean we are any good at it.

Well now, too much self-deprecation there? I wouldn’t say I’m the worst writer in the world or anything. I would venture out as far as to comfortably say I’m an “ok-ish” writer.

And it’s ok to be ok… right?

And at least I’m admitting it. Self-awareness and self-acceptance are the first steps toward… something…

In the past, I haven’t been so self-aware though as I am now. And with any hope, in the near future I will become even more self-aware. Perhaps one day it will just seem as though I’m sitting on a hill looking down at myself.

Yikes… might have to hurl my physical body down the other side of the hill! ⛰️

Let’s just forget that for now though. Here are some key mistakes I may have made in the past… not that I’m still making these mistakes… no, never!

1. I’ve been guilty of thinking I was the next big writer

The next Susan Orlean, Barbara Kingsolver, Sydney Sheldon, Stephen King, Ernest Hemingway.

Yes, of course. I can do it. No problem. I’m the queen of writing!

Yes, delusionally so, I have thought I just might be the next best thang in the world of writing.

The important take-away here is: delusional. No one can ever fill their shoes, but I can work hard to establish my own voice, shitty as it may actually be.

2. Often, I believe my writing to be better than what it actually is

Have you ever gone back to read old bits of writing and been horrified? This happens to me all the time! Proof pudding that I’m a not-so-great writer!

At one point, I must have thought this was good writing, but now I recognize it as pure shit.

Oh dear mind inside my brain, what are you doing to me!?!

By the way, the intentional overuse of punctuation does not mean I’m a bad writer, per se. I just love punctuation! Is that so bad?

3. I often go back and delete old content

Aligning with this, I often hold story-burning parties on the platforms I write for, including Medium and NewsBreak.

Ok, I don’t exactly burn them. A little bit of ego is obviously still knocking around in the head somewhere. Most of the time, I copy them to an “old content” file to be reworked later.

I’ve actually advocated for others to do the same. All these people who brag about having 8 million published stories, I always want to ask:

Yeah, how many of those are actually good and how many are just pure shit that you pumped out? Hmmm???

I don’t delete everything. Once in a while I write something that’s not so bad and thus I keep it up. But out of the hundreds and perhaps thousands of stories I’ve written, on Medium for instance, I only keep around 100 to 150 stories up and still churning.

Seems respectable.

4. I’ve sometimes been jealous of other writers

Now, this one is honestly much truer of past me than current me. These days, I love featuring the best writers and stories on my two pubs: Globetrotters and In Living Color.

Accepting myself as a mediocre writer didn’t just happen overnight. I’ve known this for quite some time now. And so I thought to myself: Well, ok, maybe my writing is shitty, but other people write pretty dang good and thus I will work to encourage and elevate them as much as possible.

I’ve actually come to love doing this.

Past me though, well, that person could just be one crazy bitch. I remember thinking stuff like:

Why the fuck is that no-talent ass clown getting all the reads, likes and follows.

🤬👿 (evil me)

Who else has done this? I’m sure I can’t be alone here.

Talk about being a delusional shithead?

And hey, we can all be redeemed, right?

5. Even though I love writing, I often get burnt out

Burn-out happens when we are trying so hard to do something, but we are getting exhausted for some reason.

Some of this might be chalked up to just needing a good rest. Sometimes though it can come from wanting so badly for something to happen but facing disappointment and thus disillusionment.

6. I often second guess my work

And then sometimes, I just fall into a state of near complete confusion where I’m writing and self-deprecating in a continuous vicious cycle like a masochistic lover in need of a good therapist.

But hey, at the end of the day, this is what I love and indeed it is my passion.

Nothing is perfect… and being mediocre can be a great thing as long as we are honestly trying our best.

Well, that sounds good anyway!

What do you think?

Lately, since I’m such a huge music lover, I’ve often been attaching a related song at the end. “Lost on You” by LP seems appropriate here:

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