Is impostor syndrome the result of skipping an important step?

Why the beginner phase matters and how to do it right

Disclaimer: I’ve only ever flirted with impostor syndrome. I’ve never been married to it, so perhaps I’m the worst person to give advice about it. Maybe it’s best if you take me with a grain of salt here.

You know you’re married to impostor syndrome when you’re convinced that you’re not good enough at your job despite being in it for years and getting solid performance reviews.

Just how clueless do you think your boss and peers are not to notice that they’ve been harboring a dodo this whole time? If they read you like a book, there’s no point in hiding. And if they are that clueless, there’s even less point in hiding. Do you really think they’re suddenly going to catch on after so many years? They’re too daft to judge your skills anyway. How could you possibly be an impostor in either of those settings? And yet, so many long impostor syndrome marriages are still seeking their divorces.

I’ve often wondered whether impostor syndrome and run-of-the-mill beginner’s trepidation are more closely related than we realize.

Personally, I experience impostor syndrome as the frisson of fear you feel when you’re stepping into a growth opportunity. A kind of “wow, they let me in here?!” But then you work hard, you learn the ropes, and grow into your role, so the feeling goes away. The whole point of being a beginner is that you’re not good enough yet. Perfect. Go learn!

So here’s a question for all of you, dear readers, to rip apart in the comments: is long-term impostor syndrome a symptom of trying to skip your beginner phase? Do people saddle themselves with it by hiding instead of humbly putting their cards on the table on day one?

If you’re confident the answer is no, stop reading. My musings will only annoy you. But if you’re intrigued, read on. Unlike most of my meticulously-argued posts, this one is a shot in the dark which I hope you’ll find useful, whether it’s because you think the idea is interesting or it’s because you’re so annoyed by it that you drag a much better one out of the exercise of arguing with me. This hill is 1000% not the one I care to die on; it’s just an observation that I’m putting out there — you tell me if it has merit. (See what I did there?)

Practicing karate in a closet

I have a hypothesis as to why impostor syndrome persists for so long in talented people who are performing their work effectively: they engage in a behavior I like to call “practicing karate in a closet.”

In order to calibrate your skills, you’ve got to go practice karate in the dojo where others can see you, not in the closet by yourself. Want perfection? Then you’ve got to test your skills against others and aggressively seek feedback to improve yourself.

You might already be shooting yourself in the foot on day one.

Perhaps they’ve been wounded by feedback in their formative years, perhaps they’re perfectionists, perhaps another reason entirely, but some people really — and I mean reeeeally! — don’t like putting their work and skills out in the open where their peers can give them feedback.

If that’s you, you might already be shooting yourself in the foot on day one of your new job.

What is a beginner?

For those who need to hear this: anyone with half a brain understands that beginners are rubbish at their job on their first day. It’s practically a law of nature.

All beginners are rubbish at their job on day one. It’s practically a law of nature.

You’re starting a complicated job that you’re scared you might not be good enough for? Well, I hate to break it to you, but you’re not good enough. Not yet. You’re a beginner. Of course you don’t know how to do the job. Yet.

If you haven’t tried this new job yet, how would you know how to perform it effectively? Surely not by reading a book about it. You may think driving is easy, but how easy was it when you had never sat behind a steering wheel?

Even if you held a similar role elsewhere, you still have plenty of new context to learn. Whichever team you’ve just joined has their own challenges, tools, processes, squabbles, quirks, and nuances for you to grasp. That’s why every reasonable person expects you to struggle at the beginning.

Remember that on day one, you *are* a mewling newborn and your team knows this.

If you join a big company to do a challenging job, their HR team literally has a written estimate of the number of months (sometimes years) they expect you to be totally useless. Totally useless. No matter how educated or experienced or fancy you are. This holds for everyone, even CEOs and rocket scientists. So instead of trying to impress your new team with your aura of mystery, remember that on day one, you are a mewling newborn and your team knows this. They have an actual mandate to help you. And if they somehow missed that memo, the smartest thing you can do is march up to them and ask all the dumb questions. No one will hold it against you.

A big question mark

In fact, going through the basics with your team will more quickly show them what you’re capable of, since you arrive as a big question mark as far as they’re concerned. A question mark isn’t exactly trustworthy. But when your team sees the edges of your capabilities, they trust you more and they’ll feel empowered to play a more active role in helping you push that boundary. When you’re a known quantity, your scope will grow faster, whereas if you try to stay mysterious, trying to help you is both annoying and frustrating. What mentor has time for guessing games? The secret to getting great mentorship (and great career growth as a result) is that you have to make yourself fun to mentor. Your aura of capable mystery is not a boon to you here.

A question mark isn’t exactly trustworthy.

Any manager tasked with putting human resources to their best use needs to know what those resources are actually capable of. If they don’t know, you’re a risk. It’ll be perfectly reasonable for them to be more cautious about giving you opportunities. They need to understand your skills so they can trust you with tailored challenges that lead to growth. Hiding doesn’t help your career. My advice is to put your cards on the table on day one when you’re around your peers and boss.

Step into the center of the dojo

When you’re ready to level up even more, I recommend taking on the ultimate act of putting yourself out there for your skills to be interrogated by volunteering to teach your peers. By bringing what you know (and what you don’t) to light, you’ll grow much faster. And I guarantee that whatever butterflies you feel about doing it won’t survive repetition. We’re all nervous the first time. These days I speak professionally, but when I got up on stage the first few times, I generated enough facepalm moments to fill a standup special. Do anything enough times and you’ll be so bored by repetition that you’ll wish your nerves still kicked in… so you could feel alive inside again. Or something.

Take on the ultimate act of putting yourself out there for your skills to be interrogated by volunteering to teach your peers.

Beginners, if you think you can grow effectively by practicing karate in your closet because you’re scared of being found out as the total newbie that you are, you’ll miss out on all the help and mentorship you could — should! — get. And if you do manage to secretly learn when no one’s watching, you won’t have an accurate view of your own abilities. You’ll feel like an impostor forever, even if your colleagues love your work. Do yourself a favor and put yourself out there. It’s hard to grow if you can’t be honest with those who have every interest in helping you.

An experienced manager usually does see right through you.

Here’s another terrifying morsel for you to chew on: an experienced manager usually sees right through you. They know what it means when you only show your finished work product, but never your drafts. When you never cc them or update them on progress until the final moment. When you don’t ask questions or seek help. They’re onto you. They’re hopefully trying to coax you out of your hidey hole… a kindness which you’ve been shutting down with your too-proud attempts at heroism, going the extra mile to prove to everyone that you don’t need anything from anyone. You may as well fess up and let them help you.

And remember that if you’re the kind of person who’s prone to impostor syndrome, you’re likely to be your own harshest critic. No one else has as much time for nitpicking your flaws as you do. Everyone around you is probably more compassionate and sympathetic to your learning journey than you are. So please don’t crawl back into that karate closet when you feel overwhelmed. Stay in the middle of the dojo. That’s how you set yourself up to graduate from the beginner phase when you’re supposed to, ready to impart your wisdom to the next impostor, er, I mean beginner, who comes along.

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