Is Trump an Alien Wearing a Skin Suit? You Be the Judge
It may seem farfetched, but let the evidence speak for itself…
I was watching an old clip from the Daily Show when the idea took seed. Trevor Noah called it “Trump’s Totally Not Weird Way of Standing” and showed image after image of Trump’s familiar, odd stance.
He doesn’t stand as normal humans stand.
He tends to lean forward so far that you fear he’s going to pitch over headfirst. It’s a funny clip, and I laughed when I saw it, but I didn’t think too much about it at the time. And then.
The new photo came out.
You know the one. It’s when the White House violently removed peaceful protesters so Trump could saunter down the street with his entourage and have a photo op in front of a closed church that he doesn’t attend.
This photo is awkward as hell, which isn’t unusual for a Trump photo. But there’s more. He’s holding a Bible. He holds this Bible up in a very odd manner as if he’s afraid it may burst into sudden flames in his hands. As if it burns to the touch and must be held gingerly. This is the moment the lightbulbs went off.
The President of the United States is not a human.
What is he then? An alien from a distant planet set on world domination? A demon from the depths of hell sent by Beelzebub to sow discord and strife among humankind? Hiding among us in his rather poorly constructed skin suit.
Yes, it sounds far fetched. But don’t give up on me yet. I’ve got the evidence to back it up.
His strangely colored skin
Everyone believes he gets that distinct orange hue from self-tanning creams. But I dare you to find the brand of self-tanner that produces that color of orange. I’ve seen very tan people in my life, they have never come close to the color of orange Trump manages to turn his face.
I believe when developing his skin suit, he had trouble with the color and now it’s too late to go back.
His minions
No matter what he does or what happens in the world, his approval rating pretty much stays around the 40 percentile. He has a strong base of supporters that never go away. Regardless of his outlandish statements such as: Inject bleach into your veins! or Shine UV light inside your body! or Take an unproven and dangerous drug to stop a virus! or I went down to my bunker during massive protests only to inspect it! or I’m from a faraway planet and I’m wearing a skin suit!
Okay, yes, I might have made up the last one.
So who are these constant supporters that never question a thing the man says and believe it all? My theory is that he has planted other members of his species around the planet to infiltrate us. Their job is to blend in and support him in the hopes of convincing the real humans that he is one of us.
Other miscellaneous exhibits of strange behavior
The evidence keeps piling up. The list goes on. And on. And on. Here are a few more:
- Inappropriate reaction to human suffering. Remember the day he threw paper towels into a crowd of hurricane-ravaged Puerto Ricans as if he was at a college basketball game launching free t-shirts into the crowd? Yes, I remember that day too.
- His fondness for evil dictators. He’s even professed love for Kim Jong Un. Buddying up with Kim Jong Un is exactly the sort of behavior I’d expect from a discord-loving demon from the depths of hell.
- His strange way of communicating. For example, he recently announced at one of his insane press conferences, that he tested positive for COVID-19. This sent shock waves through the reporters. But he did not mean to say that he tested positive for COVID-19. He meant that he positively tested negative. Or something like that. Something equally strange. This can only be seen as further bizarre behavior from someone in their attempt to seem human, yet falling a bit short of succeeding.
- Unusual use of the English language. His odd grammar and spelling style can be observed best on his Twitter feed. He likes to put random words in all caps. He refers to many things, including phone calls, as beautiful. It’s yet another example of someone trying to be a normal human being, but not quite understanding how words work.
- Twitter feuds. Trump’s Twitter feuds are bizarre. He fights with people that a president shouldn’t be fighting with. He’s fought with celebrities like John Legend, Chrissy Teigen, and Debra Messing. Don’t you think an actual political figure would be too busy for celebrity feuds? I don’t recall President Obama getting into a Twitter fight with Justin Bieber.
- Confusion over how the human body works. Trump’s bleach and UV light suggestions prove that this man doesn’t inhabit a human body and has little understanding of how human flesh works. Maybe his species can inject bleach just fine. Maybe his species lives on bleach.
- No regard for American lives. He won’t wear a mask. He won’t lead by example. He doesn’t care that experts say if we all wore masks we could reduce coronavirus cases by 80%. It doesn’t matter that the CDC recommends all Americans wear masks. He won’t wear one. He won’t even wear a mask when he’s in a mask factory. He’s turned mask-wearing into a political statement, resulting in many Americans following his lead and not wearing masks. He’s a demon from the depths. There’s no other explanation.
- He creates dissent like no other. Unlike any other president throughout history, he doesn’t even pretend to try to heal America during a crisis. Rather than show compassion for protestors, he talks of dominating them. Rather than speak to the sadness and rage of his nation, he threatens to call in the military. When even the Pentagon is concerned at a show of force, you know you’ve gone overboard.
Put this all together with the unusual posture, and what do you get? I believe the evidence I’ve laid out here speaks for itself. Alien or demon, either way, his ultimate plan is to create chaos and fighting amongst ourselves. It’s working.
It’s now up to you to decide what you believe. But, if at the next Rose Garden press briefing, Trump peels off his orange skin suit and out steps something that looks like this…
You can’t say I didn’t warn you.
