Is this the end of the NBA All-Star game? If not, shouldn’t we just kill it?
After decades of terrible selections and snubbed stars, is this the thing that finally kills the meaning of being an All-Star?
Disclaimer and Trigger Warnings: I’m more than a little disturbed by this year’s All-Star game selections. If you are upset by politics, read no further. If you are disgusted by things I consider obscene, stop now, while there’s still a chance. If you are repulsed by vulgar displays of vain behavior, quit now, while you’re ahead. And if none of that bothers you, you must be as depraved as I am. Or you’re simply my friend Gutbloom.
Apparently, the zombies are winning.
I see the corpses of Wade and Nowitzki have somehow appeared on the All-Star rosters, while guys who have actually been responsible for their team’s playoff positions (Butler, Redick, Horford, Siakam, Ibaka, Lou Williams, Tobias Harris — even Marcus Smart and his gaudy 35.9% three point shooting!!!) have been ignored.
But there’s one selection that the bothers me more than any other because:
He’s a small-handed guy in a game of giants.
He has benefited greatly from the absence of other stars from his half of the country.
He’s unathletic and considered lazy.
He never plays defense and makes no apologies for it.
He’s a product of the New York hype machine.
He’ll only give an assist if it makes him look good.
He has problems with his hair.
He makes grand gestures over insignificant accomplishments.
He takes tons of shots and misses most of them, but got hot for one month out of the last four years.
And he tells everyone how great he is.
The only thing this guy hasn’t done is declare a national emergency so he can play in the NBA All-Star game.
Could Donald Trump have an illegitimate son playing in the NBA?
What are the criteria for being an All-Star?
I would say a player gets selected for one of the following reasons:
- He is among the league leaders in a number of the glamor categories (scoring, rebounds, assists, three point percentage, etc.)
- He is on one of the teams with the best records in the league at the time.
- He is generally regarded as being the best player at his position.
- He has a past body of work as a star (multiple All-Star games, All-NBA selections), or superstar (MVPs, Finals MVPs, etc.)
So who’s the actual worst All-Star player of all time?
I looked online for the worst All-Star players of all time and found some articles listing players that were either lousy power forwards and centers from a terrible Eastern Conference (expected) or multi-year All-Star players who were way past their prime (zombie KG, zombie Kobe, zombie Yao Ming, etc.).
According to the articles, these are the all-time worst All-Star players, plus this year’s outrageous selection:
Player A played for the defending NBA Champions, who were 34–13 at the All-Star break.
Player F was a former 2-time All-Star, playing for a team with a respectable 30–22 record that would go one to lose to the Shaq-Kobe Lakers in the playoffs.
Player R plays for a team in a big city that is 30–29, after being traded from his previous team for locker room issues.
Player Z played on a team that went 28–9 to start the season, including a win over the Shaq-Kobe Lakers. After a serious injury to a star player, they dropped to 33–16 going into the All-Star break.
Here are the players’ stats going into the All-Star game:
A: 15.8 ppg, 2.3 rpg, 4.0 apg, 1.17 pps, .542 TS%, +7.0 Net Rating,
F: 16.9 ppg, 5.5 rpg, 5.9 apg, 1.15 pps, .497 TS%, +0 Net Rating
R: 20.3 ppg, 3.8 rpg, 6.6 apg, 1.13 pps, .535 TS%, -5.0 Net Rating
Z: 19.1 ppg, 5.3 rpg, 3.0 apg, 1.26 pps, .575 TS%, +4.0 Net Rating
So let’s judge these players.
A has the worst stats, but is the second best shooter, has the highest net rating, and is playing for the defending NBA champions.
F is having one of those Swiss army knife seasons for a playoff team (only 125 players have had seasons with the same number of points, rebounds and assists), and gets to the free throw line enough to make up for his bad shooting.
R is a high volume, inefficient scorer for a .500 team in the East, who is having a career year in assists, but still has a -5.0 net rating.
Z is shooting like a maniac and playing for one of the best teams in the West, with a good net rating.
Who is your choice for the worst All-Star player in this group?
To me, the All-Star “flops”** (see below for their identities) from the past actually look like All-Stars compared to this year’s space filler, with his -5.0 net rating. I thought the point of being an All-Star is how your great play helps the team win.
But is anyone saying a word about this outrage? Noooooooooooo. Too bad Lonzo wasn’t selected — at least there would be an uproar.
Maybe the Trumpification of sports has ended any semblance of merit based selection.
For more context, here are the stats of some other young NBA players who are NOT in the All-Star game. I guess they didn’t tell the press that they should be an All-Star.
S: 16.8 ppg, 9.0 rpg, 7.9 apg, 1.42 pps, .587 TS%, +6.0 net rating
D: 20.7 ppg, 7.2 rpg, 5.6 apg, 1.30 pps, .553 TS%, -1.0 net rating
F: 17.2 ppg, 3.7 rpg, 7.2 apg, 1.28 pps, .548 TS%, -2.0 net rating
T: 16.5 ppg, 6.3 rpg, 1.9 apg, 1.23 pps, .557 TS%, +1.0 net rating
K: 19.1 ppg, 5.6 rpg, 2.3 apg, 1.22 pps, .560 TS%, -6.0 net rating
M: 22.4 ppg, 3.9 rpg, 4.0 apg, 1.14 pps, .519 TS%, -6.0 net rating
You’ll notice that R is the absolute worst in points per shot, while having a league average true shooting percentage, because he hardly goes to the rim or gets free throws.
R: 20.3 ppg, 3.8 rpg, 6.6 apg, 1.13 pps, .535 TS%, -5.0 net rating
Of the players above, who would you like to see in their first All-Star game?
Ben Simmons (S)
Luka Doncic (D)
De’Aaron Fox (F)
Jayson Tatum (T)
Kyle Kuzma (K)
Donovan Mitchell (M)
or…
The guy who made the “ice in my veins” sign after hitting a buzzer beating game winner… in Summer League.
What makes this video even worse is that after Russell hit the game tying three pointer, he was so busy showing the crowd that he had ice in his veins, he let T.J. McConnell blow by him for an easy layup to give up the lead. In the last play of the game he gets away with an obvious push to get separation, hits the shot and then celebrates again.
I don’t care if it’s an injury replacement. I don’t care if it’s because the East sucks. I don’t even care if it’s a motherf-ing Boston Celtic who gets to be an All-Star (the Celtics are 27–11 since Smart became a starter).
But this guy gets to be an All-Star?
The NBA has lost all credibility for me as a sport based on merit.
We’ve got an MVP candidate who uses defenders as tackling dummies, then flops, and gets rewarded with 11.5 free throws per game.
We’ve got the top rated* guard in perimeter defense who flops as bad as Harden.
The sport has deteriorated to the point of being a crap shoot, where teams jack up 50 three pointers and whoever makes more wins the game.
And now we’ve got an “All-Star” simply because he hit 41.3% of his three point shots in January? There’s no defense, no unselfish play, no hustle or toughness…
KUZMA SCORED 35 IN THE RISING STARS CHALLENGE AND WAS VOTED THE MVP!!!…
Uh, where was I… yes… and those dumb fans only care about who scores the most points even if their net rating is terrible. This is an injustice that besmirches the game of basketball and I won’t stand for it any more.
To protest this All-Star outrage, I am officially boycotting a meaningless game that I’ve never watched in the past.
Thank you. End of rant.
*Cranjis rating from the beginning of the season
**A = B.J. Armstrong, F = Steve Francis, Z = Wally Szczerbiak
