Is This Love (Short Story)

Jason: I love you so much. You make me the happiest man alive!

Jennifer: I love you too, you also make me very happy.

Why do I lie about this? Of course, I love him but I can’t love him the way he should be loved. He asked me to marry him last week and I said yes. I said yes, even when I can’t stop thinking about other women. I can never love a man the way I can love a woman, but no one knows this. I’m a lesbian, but everyone will be so disappointed in me if they knew.

Jason: What are you thinking about? You just got really quiet.

Jennifer: Oh, nothing really. I was thinking about if I made the right decision on the salmon instead of the chicken.

Jason: That’s why I love you, you are always so thoughtful about everything you do, even the smallest things like what you order for dinner. We bring each other to a new level with my large spontaneity and your logic in every decision.

Jennifer: I agree, you are more impulsive and I am more cautious. So, we do meet in the middle and help to push each other forward.

At least nothing I said was a lie there. He would make a great friend if he weren’t in love with me and my being attracted to women. The only person who knows about my “situation” is my therapist. He says I will crack if I don’t tell anyone and if I go through with marrying Jason. He doesn’t understand that my family is very Christian and will hate me if I were to say I am a lesbian. Plus, my family loves Jason and have been telling us to get married for years now. It makes me sad just thinking about it, which is why from this day forward I will forget about being a lesbian and focus entirely on Jason! He will soon be my husband! He would hate me if he ever found out, so I must do this for him.

*** 8 months later ***

Mom: Today’s the big day Jen, are you excited or nervous?

Jennifer: I’m so nervous, I will soon sweat all of my makeup off!

Mom: Calm down, you’re marrying the love of your life today.

Jennifer: What if I am making a big mistake?

Mom: You’re not making a mistake sweety. He loves you and you love him, that’s all that matters.

As my dad starts to walk me down the aisle, all I can do is think that this is a mistake.

Jennifer: I can’t do this!

I run in the opposite direction of my husband to be. He chases me back to the makeup room, where I cannot stop bawling my eyes out. I was doing well with forgetting up until this moment.

Jason: What’s wrong Jennifer? Why did you run away?

Jennifer: I-I… I’m sorry.

Jason: It’s okay. Tell me what’s wrong.

Jennifer: I love you, Jason, I do —

Jason: You don’t wanna marry me do you?

Jennifer: No, I’m sorry.

Jason: Can I at least be given the decency to know why?

Jennifer: I-I… I love you Jason but as a friend. I’m so sorry.

Jason: Is there someone else?

Jennifer: No, I’m gay Jason.

Jason: Whew, that makes my life so much easier!

Jennifer: What?!

In a confused stupor, I sit there wondering what in the world is going on. I must be dreaming because Jason is taking this way too lightly. Not that I am upset about it, but he said he loved me and wanted to marry me. Shouldn’t he be reacting differently?

Jason: Jennifer, I always had a feeling that you were a lesbian, it’s why I wanted to be with you. I’m gay. Both of our families are extremely Christian and would disown us if they knew about us. We can still get married and be with each other as best friends and husband and wife, while also having a life of our own.

Jennifer: I never knew. I was so afraid to tell you. You are my best friend and I love you so much! Why did I think I couldn’t tell you.

Jason: Because you were going to marry me. HAHA! Now let’s go get married okay?

Jennifer: Okay.

Side note/disclaimer: If you are worried about coming out to your family especially with a very Christian family, you should tell someone. Most families of LBGTQ+ are upset in the beginning but they later come around to the idea that you like/love someone other than who they wanted you to like/love. This story is not meant to upset or make anyone make the same decisions as Jennifer and Jason. Getting married for the wrong reasons never leads to a fully happy life.