Is There a Darkness In All Of Us?

Are some of us just better at hiding it than others?

I have moments of complete release. I will go and do something bad, risky, unreasonable and a great mistake. It happens to me periodically when I retain normality for too long.

Every time I do so, I leave behind long-standing repercussions. For myself, my family and all others concerned.

This doesn’t stop me.

It’s almost like a craving, a need, just a sudden push over the edge.

My mindset at the time?

Life is too short

Worse things happen at sea

It’s part of life

My post reaction:

What the hell have I done?

What makes the mind work in this way? Is it common? Is it just me?

I know for a fact that the follow-on feeling combines isolation, fear, a problem to solve, however behind all of this, a creative peak.

For some, especially me, creation comes when the depths of my emotions are brought to the surface. The rest is just drifting space time, stocking fillers, fake news.

On a separate note, I amaze myself that I can write in such detail about myself but writing a small biography about myself is like pulling teeth.. this sort of writing is just emotive gibberish, designed to attack and drain my feelings. Perhaps the feelings of my audience too.

I wish I could focus my energy like this always. I would be a full time writer if I could.

On a separate note I was told I was a Pisces today. Pisces and Aquarius cusp. I’ve never known which suits me.

My uncle was a Pisces and he carried this darkness with him everywhere. It killed him in the end. I did however envy his ability to let it consume him without concern.

I can’t do that. I want it gone.

If it wasn’t for what I create. I’d lock it in a box and throw away the key.

I also write music. If your interested you can listen here.