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Abstract

s, HE plans to take in the three little ones.<h1 id="f6fc">The age of decentering men and childless women</h1><figure id="8d5d"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*jAt9L6WfurqUNeCxmFJFbA.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure>All over social media, women are now boldly proclaiming that their lives are decentered from men. I think this is very healthy. Many times, we come across women who will literally connive, cajole, become jealous, fight, or harm other women, just for the sake of having a man.Also, if a man is your only focus in life, it can cause you to become blind to other parts of your life and ignore red flags. There is one woman on YouTube who has completely decentered men to the point that some may call her selfish. In some ways, I find her very negative, but those who are single should pay attention.Along with decentering men, there are women boldly proclaiming that they’d rather remain childless. Lately on Tik Tok and other social media platforms, women who are married and who are single, are wailing and complaining that they are tired of childrearing on their own.They look so tired — and we question…where are the men?Where are the men who say we SHOULD have their children? Are they in their children’s lives?What’s more crazy is that there are married women who thought that because they are married, that the men will remain in the picture. This is a sad reality: taking care of home, kids, and a man is not easy work. Even for the women in the 50’s who did it with a false smile.<h2 id="54da">Let’s return to the post…</h2>I’m a woman of my vows. I take them seriously.<p id="4d80"

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When I stood at the altar before witnesses and God, I vowed to stay with my husband for better or for worse(some days he drives me crazy, but I’m sure I drive him nuts too).Overall, the vows are not specific.Its an overarching umbrella that can encompass anything. In the above post, the woman already knows how hard it is to raise one child, and she was getting ready for the next phase of her life with just her and her husband.However, due to terrible, somber circumstances, three children under the age of 12 must be cared for, and those who have children know that it is not going to be easy. This means money will have to stretch farther. This means your own personal plans will be halted. It means whoever you are, will have to ADAPT.Some commenters said that folks don’t take marriage serious anymore. Why divorce over something like that?Others took the side of the woman saying, “She did not account for this! She has a right to be selfish. Would you rather she take in the kids and treat them horribly?I have no dog in this fight and I do not have all the answers.I will say though, that in an age of decentering men and choosing self, women for ages have always carried most of the emotional load, the home load, and still are expected to be masters of the bedroom. Women are burnt out and unheard. The husband should have a conversation with his wife first to see where they stand financially and emotionally before taking on more children in the household.That would be a great start.What do you think?Thanks for reading!</article></body>

Is There A Boundary For Wedding Vows?

One social media post sparks a debate on how far is too far for ‘better or worse’

Before diving into this, I will warn that this could be a fake post, however the comments show how people really feel about parenting, marriages, and the opportunity for divorce. Both sides may have a point though.

What was the poster communicating?

In the post, the spouse is mentioning a few things:

Her sister in law passed away.
The husband plans on taking in all three of the sister’s children: ages 11, 8, and 5.
They already have a 17 year old(may be about to graduate high school?)
The poster never wanted to be a stepmom to begin with.
The poster wants an IMMEDIATE divorce.

What I gather from this post, is that she never wanted a child to begin with. Not just the future of having to take in her sister in law’s children, but she never wanted children. I am assuming from this post that the 17 year old child is either her biological child(but she said she didn’t want children?), or one from her husband’s previous marriage — I’m not sure given the context.

Either way, the poster makes it very clear that perhaps the husband already knew she did not want more children, as their 17-year-old is almost out of the house, and she is ready for the wonderful world of empty nesting.

The husband — I assume, is not consulting her about this. The post says, HE plans to take in the three little ones.

The age of decentering men and childless women

All over social media, women are now boldly proclaiming that their lives are decentered from men. I think this is very healthy. Many times, we come across women who will literally connive, cajole, become jealous, fight, or harm other women, just for the sake of having a man.

Also, if a man is your only focus in life, it can cause you to become blind to other parts of your life and ignore red flags. There is one woman on YouTube who has completely decentered men to the point that some may call her selfish. In some ways, I find her very negative, but those who are single should pay attention.

Along with decentering men, there are women boldly proclaiming that they’d rather remain childless. Lately on Tik Tok and other social media platforms, women who are married and who are single, are wailing and complaining that they are tired of childrearing on their own.

They look so tired — and we question…where are the men?

Where are the men who say we SHOULD have their children? Are they in their children’s lives?

What’s more crazy is that there are married women who thought that because they are married, that the men will remain in the picture. This is a sad reality: taking care of home, kids, and a man is not easy work. Even for the women in the 50’s who did it with a false smile.

Let’s return to the post…

I’m a woman of my vows. I take them seriously.

When I stood at the altar before witnesses and God, I vowed to stay with my husband for better or for worse(some days he drives me crazy, but I’m sure I drive him nuts too).

Overall, the vows are not specific.

Its an overarching umbrella that can encompass anything. In the above post, the woman already knows how hard it is to raise one child, and she was getting ready for the next phase of her life with just her and her husband.

However, due to terrible, somber circumstances, three children under the age of 12 must be cared for, and those who have children know that it is not going to be easy. This means money will have to stretch farther. This means your own personal plans will be halted. It means whoever you are, will have to ADAPT.

Some commenters said that folks don’t take marriage serious anymore. Why divorce over something like that?

Others took the side of the woman saying, “She did not account for this! She has a right to be selfish. Would you rather she take in the kids and treat them horribly?

I have no dog in this fight and I do not have all the answers.

I will say though, that in an age of decentering men and choosing self, women for ages have always carried most of the emotional load, the home load, and still are expected to be masters of the bedroom. Women are burnt out and unheard. The husband should have a conversation with his wife first to see where they stand financially and emotionally before taking on more children in the household.

That would be a great start.

What do you think?

Thanks for reading!