Is the Wrong Decision Always a Mistake?
You learn from the changes, or you don’t
I was sitting in the homeless shelter. I was there early and sitting in the waiting area before everyone else because the staff liked me. While I dozed I thought about the wrong decisions that led me to homelessness. There were a lot of them. Every important decision I made after my uncle died and left me to my own counsel blew up in my face.
There were a lot of reasons and excuses for that, and they don’t matter. What matters, and it’s important. Did I learn anything? and were those wrong decisions mistakes? I went through some pain, Almost three years of homelessness that scarred my mind and wrecked my body.
I went through some pain, but I got to the other side
The way I put it all into perspective. If I had made it in Florida where would I be now? If I would have been able to keep my trailer I would still be working as a security guard. It was a line of work I hated. The trailer was old and a struggle to maintain. It would have cost me money in the long run.
I ended up staying with some people in Minneapolis. I knew it was a mistake soon after I arrived. On the surface it was a mistake, but was it? I had physical and mental health issues I had been fighting for years.
It might have saved me from having another stroke
I had a stroke in Florida. That was part of the reason I was behind on my bills. I had no medical insurance. I had State Insurance in Minnesota. I was able to be under a doctor’s care and I was able to get my medications for free.
I was homeless, lonely, and miserable, but I was alive, and there was hope while I was breathing. In Florida, I filled my loneliness by answering personal ads. Superficially I was having fun, but deep down inside I wasn’t satisfied.
Would Olivia have continued to talk to me while I was in that basement?
I was in Minneapolis in the basement of the house where I was staying when a woman messaged me on Facebook. She continued talking to me online because my situation concerned her. We talked online for two years before she flew to Minneapolis to see me.
The Minister married us on September 10, 2017, in our church. In Florida and Minnesota, I screwed up. I made financial mistakes and I trusted people who let me down, but it’s all good. I’m married to a wonderful woman, she makes me nuts sometimes, but she’s still wonderful. I’m not sleeping in a shelter at night. I never slept well in a shelter, because that’s not possible. I sleep well and I eat well.
You need change to grow, but it hurts sometimes
A person needs change to grow as a person. I was in a rut in Florida. I was unhappy but I didn’t know how to change my situation or to be honest, I didn’t have the guts. I had to make changes and grow because I was in a situation where if I didn’t change I would die alone.
You need to reframe how you think about making mistakes. We all make them. It’s better to look at them for what they are. Mistakes are a way to learn and grow. They can change the track of your life.
It’s how you frame and respond to it that matters
You can learn from them and grow, or you can do what a lot of people I met in Minneapolis did. You can stay stuck where you are and be sad and miserable chasing the next high or sexual conquest.
I chose spiritual and emotional growth. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m getting close to being where and who I want to be. I wouldn’t be here now if it wasn’t for the mistakes I made in Florida and Minnesota.
Final Thought:
Get rid of self-pity and stop beating yourself up. Your mistakes don’t have to define or destroy you. Think about them, but don’t overthink them. Analyze where you went wrong and make changes in your thoughts and behavior.
Mistakes are part of life. They are sometimes necessary to get you where you’re supposed to be. Do your best. Get through whatever you’re going through and be mindful of what God or the universe is trying to teach you.
Mistakes can make or break you, it’s your choice.
