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id spotless.</p><p id="036a">My mum liked her home to be comfortable. She believed in clean, but ‘lived in.’ She wasn’t ever 100% tidy, she was <i>comfortably tidy. </i>Some days I would come home from school and every room in the house would be a little messy. However, if my mum had spent all day tidying up, she’d never have had a life.</p><p id="8f57">When my own children were young, my home was never ‘spotless’, and some professionals often complained that<b> I wasn’t tidy or clean enough.</b></p><p id="6e46">Bringing up six children was really hard, I did not have time to clean and tidy all day! Besides,</p><p id="3d1b" type="7">being too tidy and stressing yourself out over it in front of children teaches them that being messy is wrong!</p><p id="626e">If children grow up believing that cleaning is the only way to live, then they will grow up anxious about every little mess they make.</p><p id="a244" type="7">Parents should feel free to spend more time with their children because children need them more than housework needs them.</p><p id="04c5">My children are grown up today, but I still don’t do 100% tidy. I have laundry in my lounge to put away, and baskets of dirty clothes to wash, and everything is out of place,</p><p id="8f70"><b>But, I will clean it up in my own time.</b></p><p id="935a">We<i> </i>need to drop the concept of spotless because it causes people more stress than it is worth. Of course, we do need to clean and tidy our homes every now and then, in order to create a healthy home.</p><p id="9681">However, being too clean and tidy can be unhealthy; and in today’s world, do you really want to spend the rest of your life absorbed in chores?</p><p id="ac8b"><b>Life is for living, so please go away if you want spotless. You won’t get it at my house!</b></p><p id="a3e5">You might like to re

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ad the following:</p><div id="f87f" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/a-memory-never-forgotten-d92b5dfb2afa"> <div> <div> <h2>A Memory Never Forgotten.</h2> <div><h3>Writing: In The Beginning</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*jGTV-_KNxfyyAbfq)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="d4cf" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/swing-swing-swing-40ef21118106"> <div> <div> <h2>Swing! Swing! Swing!</h2> <div><h3>About a little boy who had an obsession with the swings, yet left some golden moments in my heart to treasure forever.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*d_Y5f3Tn1IJuAAoN)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="d68e" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/do-you-always-feel-like-a-packhorse-after-a-holiday-cbb1e481b853"> <div> <div> <h2>Do You Always Feel Like a Packhorse After a Holiday?</h2> <div><h3>I always end up with more bags than I went with!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*8TtnVjKGWer24Tx4)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Is That A Reasonable Boundary or Narcissistic Control?

While setting boundaries can be a healthy and necessary part of any relationship, a narcissist may use this as an excuse to justify their controlling behavior.

Photo by Polina Kovaleva: https://www.pexels.com/photo/close-up-shot-of-a-woman-holding-a-mirror-5885454/

Narcissists are known for their manipulative behavior, and one tactic they may use to control others is to cloak their actions in the guise of setting reasonable boundaries. While setting boundaries can be a healthy and necessary part of any relationship, a narcissist may use this as an excuse to justify their controlling behavior.

One way that a narcissist may use boundary-setting as a cover for control is by establishing boundaries that are arbitrary or unreasonable. For example, they may insist on knowing your whereabouts at all times, demand that you respond to their messages immediately, or limit your contact with other people. These boundaries may seem reasonable at first, but upon closer inspection, they are designed to restrict your freedom and keep you under their control.

Another tactic that a narcissist may use is to set boundaries that are inconsistent or unpredictable. They may change the rules or expectations without warning, leaving you feeling confused and uncertain about what is expected of you. This can make it difficult for you to establish a sense of autonomy or make decisions without seeking their approval.

Narcissists may also use boundary-setting as a way to project their own insecurities onto others. For example, they may accuse you of being unfaithful or dishonest, insisting that they need to set boundaries to protect themselves from your behavior. This can create a toxic dynamic in which you are constantly trying to prove your loyalty or trustworthiness, while the narcissist continues to set unreasonable boundaries as a means of control.

To spot these behaviors, it’s important to be aware of the signs of narcissistic personality disorder. Narcissists tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration and attention. They may also be manipulative, exploitative, and lack boundaries themselves.

Photo by cottonbro studio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-black-suit-sitting-on-brown-wooden-armchair-4098275/

If you suspect that someone in your life is using boundary-setting as a cover for control, there are several steps you can take.

Set Clear Boundaries

First, set clear boundaries of your own and communicate them assertively. This can help establish a sense of autonomy and prevent the narcissist from overstepping their bounds.

Setting clear boundaries is an essential part of establishing a healthy relationship with a narcissist. It can help prevent the narcissist from overstepping their bounds and asserting their dominance over you. When setting boundaries, it is essential to communicate them assertively and clearly, making it clear what behaviors are acceptable and what is not.

Establishing clear boundaries can be challenging, especially if you have been in a relationship with a narcissist for a long time. However, it is crucial to remember that setting boundaries is a way to protect yourself and establish a sense of autonomy. By setting clear boundaries, you can prevent the narcissist from using their manipulation tactics to control you and your actions.

It is important to remember that communication is key when setting boundaries. It is essential to be assertive when communicating your boundaries, making it clear what behaviors are acceptable and what is not. Be specific when setting your boundaries, and avoid being vague or ambiguous. This will prevent the narcissist from using their manipulation tactics to twist your words or undermine your boundaries.

In conclusion, setting clear boundaries is an essential part of establishing a healthy relationship with a narcissist. It can help prevent the narcissist from overstepping their bounds and asserting their dominance over you. Remember to communicate your boundaries assertively and clearly, making it clear what behaviors are acceptable and what is not. This will help establish a sense of autonomy and prevent the narcissist from using their manipulation tactics to control you and your actions.

Seek Support

Second, seek support from trusted friends or family members, and consider speaking with a therapist who can help you navigate the situation.

Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging and stressful experience. Narcissists are often manipulative and lack empathy, making it difficult to communicate with them effectively. If you find yourself in a situation where you are dealing with a narcissist, seeking support from trusted friends or family members can be incredibly helpful. Talking to someone who understands what you are going through can provide you with a sense of relief and help you feel less alone.

However, it is important to choose your confidants carefully. Narcissists are often adept at creating a false narrative about themselves and may have convinced some of your mutual friends or family members that you are the problem. Talking to someone who is still under the narcissist’s influence can make the situation worse. Choose people who have witnessed the narcissist’s behavior firsthand or those who are more likely to be objective.

Another option is to consider speaking with a therapist who can help you navigate the situation. Therapists are trained to help individuals deal with difficult people and situations. They can help you identify patterns in the narcissist’s behavior and provide you with strategies to manage your interactions with them. Additionally, therapists can provide a safe space for you to talk about your feelings and experiences without judgment.

Dealing with a narcissist can be a daunting task, but seeking support from trusted friends or family members and speaking with a therapist can make the experience more manageable.

Remember, it is important to choose your confidants carefully and seek professional help if needed. With the right support and strategies, you can learn to navigate the situation and protect your emotional well-being.

Distance Yourself

Finally, consider distancing yourself from the narcissist if their behavior continues to be toxic or abusive.

If you find that the narcissist’s behavior continues to be toxic or abusive despite your efforts to manage the situation, it may be necessary to consider distancing yourself from them. This can be a difficult decision to make, especially if the narcissist is a close family member, friend, or romantic partner. However, prioritizing your mental health and well-being is essential.

Distancing yourself from the narcissist can take many forms. It could mean setting boundaries on your interactions with them, limiting the amount of time you spend with them, or cutting ties altogether. The most appropriate approach will depend on the specific situation and your personal circumstances.

It is important to keep in mind that distancing yourself from the narcissist may not be easy. They may try to guilt you or manipulate you into staying in the relationship. They may also try to turn mutual friends or family members against you. It is essential to have a support system in place to help you navigate this difficult time.

One option is to seek support from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with coping strategies and help you work through any feelings of guilt or anxiety that may arise from distancing yourself from the narcissist. Additionally, they can help you identify the signs of abusive behavior and provide you with tools to protect yourself from future harm.

In conclusion, if the narcissist’s behavior continues to be toxic or abusive, it may be necessary to consider distancing yourself from them. This can be a challenging decision, but prioritizing your mental health and well-being is crucial. Remember to have a support system in place and seek professional help if needed. By taking care of yourself, you can regain control of your life and find peace and happiness.

Narcissists may use reasonable boundary-setting as a cover for control and manipulation. By understanding the signs of narcissistic personality disorder and setting clear boundaries of your own, you can protect yourself from this toxic behavior and establish healthy relationships built on mutual respect and trust.

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Narcissistic Abuse
Boundaries
Narcissism
Mental Health
Coping
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