Is Struggle your Default Comfort Zone?

Change your default and reach your goals.

Real change is difficult at the beginning, but gorgeous at the end. Change begins the moment you get the courage and step outside your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.~Roy T. Bennett

A few years ago, I told my Mom I was changing my diet routine. She responded by asking me two thought-provoking questions that go well beyond a diet.

Is this it sustainable? And will you spend your whole life doing it?

When I thought about those questions, I realized that, for a better part of my life, my focus was on losing and then maintaining an 86-pound weight loss.

I also realized I was never at ease with food before the weight loss, and maintaining it, stressed me out even more.

Even though our conversation was about dieting, it got me thinking about my overall life experience and how struggle had become my default comfort zone.

Her questions reminded me that, over the years, I noticed how many clients got close to their various goals and then backslide or stall.

And more often than not, the stall came right before the goal was reached.

Why does this happen?

As we stare at the goal we’re about to achieve, we get stuck in the fearful picture of what happens next? Most times, the fear is not in our conscious awareness.

Just like me, many people spend a good deal of their attention, time, energy, effort, and often, money to try. And we are so focused on the end game that we don’t look beyond it.

It doesn’t matter if it’s losing weight or some other life-long struggle. There is so much effort going into the perceived problem that there is no vision of what we would do with our energy once we reach our goal.

When our energy and attention go towards fixing a problem in addition to asking why we are struggling, there is the stress and frustration of not getting what we want and not knowing why.

It then becomes an endless loop in our minds. What also makes it so challenging is that the day-to-day struggle eventually becomes our default comfort zone.

Where’s your energy?

If you want to shift your thought process, it takes some self-reflection. Here are a couple of questions to explore. What’s a long-time struggle or something you want to make perfect?

What are the things you worry about or are intensely focused on for so long that you can’t even picture life without that intense focus? How much of your energy is being taken up by trying to solve, fix or change things?

For some, the energy is tied up in searching for a relationship. For others, it’s their weight or how they look, and, for others, it’s a lack of money or resources.

To be clear, none of this is wrong or bad. It doesn’t matter what it is. We all have something we’ve intensely dreamed of, wanted, or focused on so much that we throw all of our energy and attention into it.

Where you place your energy and attention has everything to do with how much of your energy you have for creating.

Ok, so you put all your energy and attention into fixing this thing and can’t seem to get there.

Have you ever stopped to look at how much of your creative energy you’re pouring into fixing the problem, getting what you want, or changing your circumstance?

Have you ever taken a breath, stepped back, and looked at how much you identify who you are with your worries?

Most importantly, ask yourself how much energy you would free up to create other things?

What’s your vision beyond the goal?

When I ask the question, I’m not asking how you would spend your money if you won the lottery or what life would look like if you were in that perfect relationship or had a perfect body.

I ask so you begin to think about what you want to create and where you’d put even a portion of your energy if it was available to you.

It’s essential to explore how much of our focus defines our direction.

Where would you put your energy? What is your vision? What would you create?

How would you (re)define yourself? It’s not that you have to abandon or give up on those things you want. It’s about calling back your energy and, in your mind’s eye, having a vision beyond the goal once you get there.

I’m happy to say that I recently stepped out of my default by deciding to step off the scale and focus my energy in other places. It’s not that I don’t watch what I eat, but it no longer consumes my every thought.

“Energy rightly applied and directed will accomplish anything.”~Nellie Bly

What you see is what you get!

Everything we want can happen when we focus our energy in the right places. It’s about creative vision, stepping out of the effort, and, in some cases, totally shaking up our world to go beyond our default comfort zone.

Thanks for reading.~Shine Your Light, Debbie

This article is updated from a post originally published on my Daily Muse Blog on March 2, 2019.

Debra is not only a published author and storyteller. She is a reader. A clairvoyant reader. Her articles, readings, and spiritual teachings help guide people to connect with their highest essence and creative expression to more fully access their gift of clarity.

In her free time, you will find Debra enjoying the arts scene in Chicago, teaching meditation and clairvoyant development, or snuggling with her gorgeous kitty Venus. https://spiritlightinsight.com/