Is Someone Lying to You in a Text or Email?

We all have gone through that feeling of doubt sometime, when you are texting with someone and you feel that their message is a lie. Could it be that our intuition can detect it? Do we have any tools to know if something is not true, even if we have only read it in a message or email?

There are many ways to tell if someone is lying. We often notice that there is something wrong with a person’s body language, or there may be an expression in their voice.

But how many other lies can we find in our daily communication?

Most of our communication has moved to «remote» platforms, that is, we have more conversations, often through text messages, email, chat, and other forms of electronic communication. While they are convenient, they also put up a wall that makes it difficult to spot common signs that someone is lying.

But is there any way to tell if someone is lying, even if we don’t meet them face to face? In order to answer this question, we need to understand its importance first. One reason:

Lies are destructive for life, plans, trust and relationships.

Being in a relationship with someone who constantly lies can lead to:

A constant lack of trust.

If a person feels cheated, they may feel angry and resentful. An unstable environment forces people to make bad decisions because they won’t have the clear information to make a good one. Understandings the moments when someone is lying to you can help you build a more honest relationship and prevent the misinformation.

Texts are a great way to lie.

Before we discuss how to tell if someone is lying in an email or text message, let’s look at some general information about the prevalence of lying.

How many lies are told per day? Where do they come from? Did you know that a person’s confidence in their ability to lie is positively correlated with the number of lies they tell each day?

Obviously, most lies come from repeat offenders, but that doesn’t mean we all don’t lie (at least a little) from time to time. In fact, most of us lie an average of 2 times a day, and the frequency is even higher among teenagers. Most people consider themselves honest, or at least say they don’t like to lie. But this doesn’t mean that we don’t tell at least a few lies every day, oh yes we do! And it’s even unconscious!

But, how to tell if someone is lying?

Typical signs that a person is lying are physical: eye movements, stuttering, facial expressions, etc. But if you want to know how to tell with words if someone is lying, you need to know how to read between the lines.

• Being deliberately vague

If the person you’re communicating with seems to have trouble telling a credible story, it could be a sign that they’re being dishonest.

«Lying by omission» refers to telling half-truths while omitting specific information about something.

For example, they may say, «I walked home after leaving work last night,» when what they really mean is, «I walked home after leaving work last night and went back to the bar.» No lies here, but it’s still hidding information.

• Identify lies in the text

When we lie, we often worry about what to say. After all, we have a story to tell, right? This can cause longer response times when trying to talk. If someone is dishonest, they may take longer than usual to respond to your messages. This is actually a very important factor in determining if someone is lying in a text, chat, or other type of instant message. I wouldn’t say it’s so much about email, but please make up your own mind. If your messaging platform has ellipses (…) to indicate when the other person is typing, it doesn’t mean that they are simply too busy or forgot to reply. Rather, it suggests that they have difficulty formulating the correct answer. When it comes to how to tell if someone is lying, this can be your sign. That’s not to say that a longer response time is always a sign that someone is lying, but it can certainly be a clue. There are other reasons why someone may take longer to respond to you. For example, they really like you and are looking for the right words to express themselves.

• Things are too complicated

Another strategy for determining if someone is lying is to check the volume and detail of their answers. Are they giving an overly complicated answer to a relatively simple question? If so, that could be a red flag. For example, say you’re asking the person why they can’t come to the event or why they’re not responding when you’ve already made plans. If they give you an overly complicated answer filled with irrelevant details, it could be a sign that they are spinning the web.

• Avoid certain topics

If you ask someone a question and they act like you didn’t ask it, that can be a good indicator of whether someone is lying. For example, you can include several instructions in one letter, such as: “I missed the bus this morning. Why didn’t you answer my text last night? If they only answer the first, it probably means they are avoiding the second.

Another thing they can do is use red herrings to change the subject. They may quickly not answer your questions and change the conversation to unrelated topics. They may also turn the question back on you, trying to avoid answering it («Oh, I don’t know what you did last night?»).

• They overly promote honesty

Ironically, you probably know how to tell if someone is lying by overusing the popular word «honesty.» They might say something like, «I’ll be completely honest with you,» or «Honestly, I just got home from work and went to bed.»

Are you accusing them of lying? If not, why do they bother to claim they are telling the truth?

A persistent liar may also overuse this statement by saying, «They never lie» or «They were taught from a young age to always tell the truth no matter what.» Wait… Who first said you were a liar? It sounds like it comes from a place of inner guilt if you ask me.

• Their wording is «closed»

If you talk to someone frequently via text or email, you probably have a good idea of ​​their typical communication skills. If they sound slightly different in a given conversation, it could mean they’re creating a lie. For example, do they use «bigger» words than usual?. In general, if their wording sounds suspicious, it could be one of the signs that someone is lying in the text.

• They attack you with «G2G» (got to go) or «BBL» (be back later)

Want to know how to tell if someone is lying by text? Watch how quickly they try to break away from the conversation. Lying is neither fun nor pleasant. Many times we just want to drop the ball, let the other person take it, and move on to something less painful. You can see this in text messages or chats: if you have something to confront someone about, they will show up and then quickly say “g2g”. They might say, «Oh, I didn’t do anything after the day off yesterday. Anyway, I’m g2g, so I’ll talk to you later.»

Once you’ve been responded like this, they assume that the next time they talk to you will be under normal circumstances.

«G2G» is like hitting a reset button that absolves them of responsibility.

They may also expect you to drop the subject or forget about it for a while. trust your intuition

When trying to figure out how to tell if someone is lying, you may have little else to rely on other than your gut instinct.

If you have a strange feeling that someone is treating you unfairly, that feeling is usually correct.

A lie can be a sign that something worse is about to happen. This doesn’t mean you have to call the person a liar, but rather use it to your advantage.

When you feel something happening, keep asking questions.

The more back and forth, the more likely you are to catch something. The lies may still be hidden in the written content, but you have enough data to gather the truth.

The goal is always to be informed. Allowing lies from others will only hurt you.

Trust is the foundation of all healthy relationships. The damage caused by mistrust forces you to make decisions you wouldn’t otherwise make.

Thanks for reading! Are you able to identify any of these facts in your daily conversations? Let me know in the comments!

Source:

McPherson M. (2020). Telltale signs someone is lying to you in a text or email. https://mollymcpherson.com/telltale-signs-someone-is-lying-to-you-in-text-or-email/