Summary

The article discusses the phenomenon of "kittenfishing" in online dating, where individuals misrepresent themselves to appear more attractive or interesting, but not to the extent of creating a false identity as in "catfishing."

Abstract

The concept of "kittenfishing" is explored as a less severe form of deception in online dating compared to "catfishing." It involves exaggerating one's lifestyle, appearance, or interests to seem more appealing to potential matches. The article emphasizes that while kittenfishing may seem harmless, it can lead to trust issues and unrealistic expectations. It advises daters to be cautious of inconsistencies and to avoid embellishing their profiles, suggesting that honesty is the best policy for forming genuine connections. The piece also provides tips on how to detect if someone is kittenfishing and suggests that understanding the insecurities behind this behavior can be beneficial.

Opinions

Kittenfishing, though seemingly innocent, is a form of manipulation that can erode trust in online dating.
It is common for individuals to present an idealized version of themselves on dating profiles, which can lead to disappointment during in-person meetings.
The article implies that kittenfishing is a defense mechanism against judgment and rejection in the vulnerable space of online dating.
The author suggests that people should strive to be their authentic selves and that genuine self-representation is more likely to lead to successful relationships.
The piece acknowledges that everyone has insecurities, but lying about one's lifestyle is not a sustainable foundation for a relationship.
It is noted that kittenfishing can create unrealistic expectations, setting up the relationship for potential failure from the outset.
The author encourages readers to be discerning and to trust their instincts if they suspect someone is not being truthful about their life.
The article promotes the idea that using a referral link to sign up for Medium supports writers financially, highlighting the value of content creation and the importance of compensating creators.

Is Someone Kittenfishing You on a Dating App?

Is this online dating practice innocent? Are you guilty of doing it?

Dating apps have more pretenders and fakers than masquerade balls.

Your experience can be great or terrible depending on your matches. Most people wear a mask when online. I assume it is a defense mechanism against receiving judgment.

It’s funny how dating terms are cute; yet so hurtful when practiced.

In your defense, kittenfishing feels innocent. You may not be aware you are even doing it. Do you know if someone ever did it to you?

Before you open your dating app, learn this term to spot and prevent trust fractures.

A reminder about catfishing

Everyone knows the dating term catfishing.

It is when you see someone online, but they don’t exist. Another person is pretending to be the character you thought you knew. An official definition of catfishing.

Catfishing refers to when a person takes information and images, typically from other people, and uses them to create a new identity for themselves. In some cases, a catfisher steals another individual’s complete identity — including their image, date of birth, and geographical location — and pretends that it is their own. The catfisher then uses this identity to trick other people into associating with them or doing business online. — Definition by Fortinet

So, what is kittenfishing?

NBC News highlighted the term and gave its definition as:

Kittenfishing is ‘catfishing light.’ While you’re not pretending to be another person, you’re still misrepresenting yourself in a significant way. This also extends to the lifestyle you portray on your dating profile. — says Jonathan Bennet, founder of Double Trust Dating

Thus, this practice is all about hiding your flaws and making your life seem better than it is in reality.

So, you are yourself. But the version you portray online does not exist as yet.

Are you guilty of kittenfishing?

Who hasn’t told a little lie to appear more attractive to someone’s imagination?

It goes too far when you set high expectations by pretending to be someone you are not. For example, you say you love a movie you’ve never watched.

If you have to fake it to get the first date, you may not get a second.

Life isn’t like the movies.

How to know if you are getting kittenfished?

Most people find out on the first date. But you can know from your first few conversations with the person.

Psychologist Ana Jovanovic shared some helpful tips in the NBC News article. Here is how you can spot if someone is lying about their life:

Inconsistencies in their story.
They are selective about the questions they answer. Sometimes, they give no reason or a defensive explanation about why they can’t answer the question.
They don’t want to provide stories, proof, or specifics.
A job title or event is a big part of their life and online profile, yet the person does not want to talk about it.
They have zero flaws. Every story makes them, and their lives look fantastic.

You can decide to walk away if someone appears to be faking their lifestyle too much. Other times, you can be understanding because people have insecurities. And kittenfishing allows them to hide the less confident, messy parts of their life.

It is a risky decision, though. Kittenfishers often have rom-com happy ending illusions. They think they can win you over with their charm and personality on the first date.

The damaging effect of kittenfishing

Many consider kittenfishing less harmful than catfishing. It gets framed as tiny embellishments or being your best future self now. Nevertheless, lies are manipulative. It causes trust issues with dating profiles.

If you feel unsure about someone, trust your instincts.

If you don’t want to kittenfish someone online, think about how a colleague would describe you. Use those answers instead of embellishing. Otherwise, be mysterious. Use the N/A option — you can share these details on the first date or later when you are ready.

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