Is My Father’s Absence the Reason for My Misfortune.
“It is easier to build strong children than repair broken adults.”
Take a moment to ponder on the above mentioned quote. I hope you have allowed your mind to focus on the theme and the endless possibilities it comes with. Keep it close — will get back to it.
The significant roles we play all have a common thread, the ability for one to explore self in a relationship. To identify the endless character traits one owns and would like to manifest for the fulfillment of the soul. Relationships are essential for growth to happen. Whether it be mother to child, child to father — relationships create space for one to transform. For a house to be built as a complete structure, it needs a solid foundation. The role of a father like a mother, is the most crucial and fundamental role in a child’s life. These two roles equally have a responsibility of influence in the development of the child.
‘Before God (The creator) we are equally wise and equally foolish’ Albert Einstein
In order for a human-being to acknowledge who they are,a process of growth needs to take place. These roles are not given they are earned through exercising specific skills. Humans have the ability to master something when practiced correctly. However, practice makes permanent not perfection. We our bound to make mistakes along the way. This is where we need counsel from a witness who also has influence on the situation. Mother’s play a virtuous role in a child’s life. She is remarkable in nurturing the maturity a child seeks. However- her natural instincts to life when it comes to a child are more fluid and comfortable. An absent father creates unbalance since father’s are recognized to provide a sense of security in all domains that affirm a person. He places rules and enforces them. Dads push children to take more risks — when this is absent children tend to loose this perspective which results in having them live their entire lives trying to fill the void.
‘Rome wasn’t built in one day”
It is of importance to acknowledge that Rome wasn’t built in one day. To also remember that it wasn’t built by one person. Nature understands that we are likely to fail before we reach a desired goal. We are certainly going to miss some aspects or learn certain tools along the way. Time is on our side when we do not waste it. When two people unite — it is two minds, two physical individuals who have one purpose.
The art in both parents being invested in a child’s life assists with time management. Both parents’ need to be actively involved for at least eighteen years. Due to the strain that is brought by circumstance, a stable support structure is vital in-order to keep everything intact. To ride out through the challenges that life throws our way. When one parent isn’t strong enough to pull through the hurdle,the other one can take action and keep everything moving.
‘Monkey see, monkey do’
Children tend to mirror what their parents do. Studies indicate that if a father is affectionate, supportive, and involved, he can contribute greatly to a child’s cognitive, language, and social development, as well as academic achievement, a strong inner central identity, sense of well-being, good self-esteem, and authenticity. However, if his absent he contributes to loss of identity, co-dependency, anxiety and low self-esteem.
‘Father’s matter too’
Psychologists assumed that the mother-child bond was the most important bond in a child’s life. Their central focus was studying those relationships, and however a child turned out, mom often got the credit or blame.For the last several decades scientists are increasingly realizing just how much dads matter. Similar to mothers, fathers’ minds respond to parenthood as well,and their parenting style affects the child just as much.
If you are child that has grown up without a father I deeply empathize with you. Life is certainly not a walk in the park even with both parents in the picture. Though, we need to acknowledge that it is a whole lot better than having a single parent. Solutions can be more feasible when a father isn’t absent in a child’s life. A child needs understanding of the role they need to play in order to participate as pro-active individuals in society — this needs both parents.
‘Before you point the finger make sure your hands are clean’
I can never really blame my fathers’ for my misfortune. As a product of two absent father’s I can say that it did affect me heavily. I met my biological father at the age of twenty three. My bonus father was there physically but emotionally unavailable — the reason to this phenomena could be that I wasn’t his biological child. With that said I am in a better place since I have found healing and understanding.
Both my dads, also had absent fathers — which means that they did not know how to demonstrate the role. If creation is willing I one-day will be blessed with the responsibility of becoming a parent. Where I need to choose a partner who will assert a fatherly role to our offspring. Children yearn to know where they come from.
Remember the quote I asked you to keep close. We are going to ponder on it again.“It is easier to build strong children than repair broken adults.” This is truth, it’s less stressful to build and develop a strong child than fix a broken adult. Bear in mind there’s no set manual to life everything provided is merely guideline. This does not mean that if you had it hard, you need to stop the experience to live. What you need to do is fight — not stay in the stagnation of circumstance. Even as a broken adult there’s still hope. It will be difficult but it can be achieved. I know the absence of my father is not my misfortune. His path does not determine my destiny — I do, you do. The secret to fortune lives in the soul that never quits on self.
