Is Monogamy Still Relevant in the 21st Century?

Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy: The Debate Continues

The default relationship setting used to be monogamy. Once you paired up with one partner, you got married, and that was that.

Now, more people must figure out how to stick with one romantic partner. Does monogamy need to go the way of the dodo?

In today’s society, does it still matter?

Let me show you some different angles.

I thought monogamy was ideal when I was younger. I remember everyone in my parents’ generation being married forever. It seemed ridiculous to juggle multiple partners.

I started questioning things when I was surrounded by hookup culture in college.

Why ignore someone I like if we have chemistry?

Monogamy was restrictive to some of my friends.

“Humans aren’t designed to be with one person forever,” said my roommate Jess.

Modern relationships shouldn’t be about jealousy and possessiveness.

Nina, my girlfriend, values traditional commitment. She couldn’t recreate long-term monogamy’s security, emotional intimacy, and depth in casual situations.

She said,

“I want a soulmate, not variety.”

That wasn’t my style.

I asked Esther Chen, a relationship psychologist, what she thought. Life expectancy, for example, affects how views of intimacy change over time. “Lifelong partnership was more realistic when people only lived to 40 or 50,” she said. Many people wonder if it’s natural to stick with just one partner after kids leave home.

Yet, trust and belonging are still core human emotions.

There’s still a sense of security in monogamy for many people.

Nevertheless, she emphasized that open arrangements and asexuality both fulfill those needs.

She says,

“There’s no universal right or wrong as long as you communicate what’s important to you.”

Research shows that more people are rethinking monogamy. Among adults under 30, 20% consider consensual non-monogamy ideal, compared to just 5% of people over 55.

They also found that non-monogamous people ended partnerships faster, challenging the idea that it made relationships last longer.

It seems like there’s only one size fits all answer. Depending on your values and needs, what’s right is different for everyone.

Many people still like monogamy because they feel like they’re part of a nuclear family. Those who don’t like traditional relationships find comparisons in unconventional ways.

I don’t judge.

It’s vital to keep communication open to avoid hurt.

What about me?

I’m still learning.

My marriage must align with my views on intimacy and creating a relationship that feels truer than true.

I’m keeping my eyes open and talking to everyone.

Don’t you love life?