Is it Worth Giving a Chance to a Relationship With Someone With Whom You Are Not In Love?

Life is too short, you know

If you accompany me here on Medium, you know that I had a life full of relationships. I learned early on not to be afraid of women, and I dated whenever I had the will and the opportunity. Many of these relationships have worked, but most have gone wrong, which has made me very tough. My heart, little by little, was creating a kind of shield. That happened unconsciously; the only thing I realized was that failures didn’t hurt that much anymore.

The problem is that the same thing happened with victories.

What I mean is that, after a certain age, I STOPPED FALLING IN LOVE. I still dated a lot of girls, of course, maybe even more than before, since I wasn’t afraid to grieve because, after all, I didn’t really suffer. Several of these girls made me excited… But none of them made me fall in love.

As much as I missed the feeling, I ended up conforming… At this time, I met a girl who fits perfectly in the one described in the title of this article.

She and I had a mutual friend on Facebook. The girl went through her list of friends and found me. For some reason, she liked me and told our friend, who gave me the information. I went to check out her photos on Facebook and considered her… Reasonable. She was beautiful but not stunning. She had an interesting but not a fantastic body. From the posts she wrote on Facebook, she seemed like a nice person… I thought it was worth taking a chance.

We arranged a meeting at which the mutual friend would also attend. When I met her in person, I was surprised: SHE WAS MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN I THOUGHT! She was much more beautiful, had a charming conversation, was intelligent, sexy, cultured…

Our friend went to the bathroom and gave us the cue: she found me and her kissing when she came back.

We didn’t get to bed that day, but I got excited. When I got home, I made a decision: I would go ahead with that relationship. It was a girl who was worth it. It is important to note here that I made a decision. It was not my instincts that moved the relationship forward. It was my brain.

The next day we exchanged SMS. She had gone with our friend to Guarujá, a beach on the coast of São Paulo, the state where I live in Brazil. And she treated me with a certain coldness. I said something like, “Too bad, I thought we were on the same wavelength!” She replied, “We are! I was just making myself hard to get!”.

I went there, she and I had a wonderful weekend, and we started dating.

For two and a half years, my life revolved around her and vice versa. We were fine; we liked each other, our families got along… Likely, we would never have separated if it did not happen what I never thought would happen.

I fell in love again.

My passion was an actress who was in the play where I started working almost a year before. It wasn’t something that happened overnight, then. Quite the opposite. She and I fought; we didn’t get along…

Until we realized that we were in love.

At that moment, I knew that my courtship would have to end. My girlfriend was the last person I wanted to hurt in my life, but my heart was no longer hers. The break was like the removal of a band-aid, fast and very painful.

But, what to do?

When our heart wants to take the reins of the brain, it does.

So my advice for anyone who is in a situation similar to mine at that time, who met an interesting, attractive, pleasant person, who wants to relate to you but that you are not in love with, is to give a chance to this person. Life is too short; we can’t just wait, wait and wait for the ideal person to fall into our lap. You can get lucky and find someone like my ex-girlfriend, a magnificent person. And you can even fall in love with her over time.

Just know that chance can happen, just like it occurred to me.