Is It Time to Level Up?

Have you allowed yourself to wallow during the pandemic?

Have you been paralyzed with inaction due to being overwhelmed or too much pivoting?

I found myself feeling incredibly stuck at the end of 2021. I had not accomplished any of my goals. I also did not stick with any of the routines I had intended to institute. As I reviewed my year, I felt as though it was a complete flop.

In 2021, my life was very hectic. As a teacher, I went from a virtual schedule to a hybrid schedule to in-person learning all within one school year. My daily routines were constantly being flipped, and I could not gather the momentum to build a consistent growth plan.

I was running on a hamster wheel and going nowhere.

On New Year’s Eve, I made the commitment to a new life. I granted myself a “pass” for 2021. Living and working during a pandemic can be difficult enough without pressuring yourself to achieve. However, I knew my wallowing was becoming unhealthy. Allowing myself to continue living in this manner was not going to lead anywhere productive. I needed to unstuck myself, and I used the opportunity of a new year to reframe my mindset.

I needed to level up.

1. My appearance

During my time as a virtual teacher, I worked from my home office. My commute was fifteen steps. I had no need to create a professional appearance aside from my on-screen presence. I wore yoga pants or leggings daily. I started out with a nice sweater or blouse, but over time I spiraled down into long sleeve t-shirts with an expensive scarf or pashmina around my neck. No one on-screen knew, and I felt my appearance did not matter. We were in a raging pandemic with a lockdown, why should I care how I look? Though true, my attitude led me to a less than healthy mindset.

When I returned to partially in-person teaching, we were still living in the midst of a pandemic. I ate lunch outside on tennis courts with students. I walked over 10,000 steps daily between separate buildings and outside duties. All of our faculty meetings were still on Zoom despite having in-person school, so I was not operating face to face with my team. I was still not dedicated to creating a professional appearance.

Look, I am all for the “wear whatever you want” movement. However, you have to take into consideration how what you are wearing makes you feel. If you are feeling “comfortable” and slouchy and uncaring with your appearance, how can you not begin to feel this way about yourself and your life? I was moving toward this space.

I need to pull myself together. Because who knows where this will end? Will I be sporting pool cover-ups or a mumu by May? So now, while life is not back to normal, I realize my lack of commitment to my appearance has impacted my perception of myself and my reality. I am moving on to presenting my best appearance to the world.

2. My Health

During the lockdown, my health was definitely not a priority. Ironically, we were all so focused on the virus impacting our health, yet I was not acting in a way that aligned with this concern.

My inability to acquire what I wanted in the grocery store left me to give up on planning meals and cooking healthy. I was never certain what I would have in my grocery pick-up. Multiple items on my list would be out of stock, and I had to change our meals every week. No rice, no yeast, no flour. Meal planning became fruitless.

Even as some of the supply chain issues were resolved, I put little effort into planning healthy meals. I continued my haphazard approach to eating and my health.

3. Exercise

With my gym closed for months, the exercise took a backseat as well. I typically participate in group fitness classes, use the treadmill, and swim in the gym’s pool. I stopped moving my body cold turkey. Sure, after a few weeks of inactivity during the lockdown, I put my warm clothes on and started morning walks around my neighborhood before work. Most of the time, this was for my mind. Yet, neighborhood walking was no comparison to spending an hour at the gym.

When the summer came, I jumped into my summer club’s pool excitedly. All summer, I swam daily, but as the summer turned to fall, I fell back into the habit of no exercise. While my gym was open, class sizes had been reduced to less than half. Classes were often fully booked within minutes, and I could not get a spot. I was not comfortable on the treadmills and the open-air areas of the gym with the virus rate still high, so I remained home.

Did I have access to online workouts? Yes. I actually subscribe to two apps, and I had access to some of my gym’s classes virtually. Did I use these? Rarely. I wanted to get out in the world. I wanted to be with people. If I could not do this, then what is the point? Connecting with the gym instructors online seemed like a continuation of my daily Zoom practice, and I was not remotely interested. (no pun intended)

And so inactivity, too, became a habit. Even as one of the first to be vaccinated, I did not rush back to the gym.

4. Writing

At the start of 2021, I intended to write daily and make progress with some side projects. Stress from my job took too much of my emotional energy, however. I was pivoting regularly from virtual to in-person, and I could not create a consistent schedule that I could stick to.

When I came home from work, my energy levels were depleted. Though I enjoyed being in person and with people again, the experience was draining with all of the additional protocols. On days when I remained home to teach, I was live on Zoom for 4–6 hours daily. The scientific research is right; this experience kills any energy you may have. I needed naps immediately as school ended.

I had little emotional energy to stick to new habits. As time wore on, low energy became my habit.

Even when summer came, and I had more time, I needed to decompress and heal. For weeks, I had no energy to write. I wanted nothing to do with a computer or any technology. All I wanted to do was soak in the sweet sunshine and green grasses of the season. And so I did.

I rarely devoted time to my side projects, and I accomplished little to nothing.

I blamed the pandemic. For over a year, I blamed the pandemic for my inactivity, my weight gain, and my inability to accomplish goals. Was this fair? Was I not responsible for my actions? Could I not muster some motivation to move forward?

I began to also wonder if we were beginning a new “normal”, and I was sitting around waiting for my regular normal to return. Yet, what if it did not return? What if this were to be my life now? Was I going to remain stuck forever?

On New Year’s Eve, I decided. I had been using the pandemic as an excuse for far too long. Yes, the pandemic has impacted us all. Yes, the pandemic has been stressful, and we needed to slow down. However, blaming the pandemic has prevented me from truly living an inspired life for far too long. Was that necessary, or was it my choice? Now, I choose me, and I’m moving forward. Because if I’ve learned anything, life is short and we need to truly live in the moments we have.

We can sit and wait for the “return” to normal. Or, we can realize that life continues whether the pandemic is over or not.