Is It Anxiety or Are You Disconnected From Yourself?

How to learn to listen to that gut feeling

Lies have an expiration date. Especially the ones you tell yourself. I’ve come to discover this the hard way.

We’re all wearing these masks to be deemed pleasant, acceptable, a good daughter/son, a good spouse, and a serving member of society. We all know what we’re supposed to do, what works, what makes sense.

But anxiety doesn’t make any sense.

Anxiety is dark, terrifying, and confusing. Anxiety is your mind telling you you’re not safe, and your body telling you: this is wrong. And maybe, just maybe, you should stop and listen.

Have you been clinging to the wrong story?

My anxiety is career-related because this is the part of my life where I’ve denied my true feelings the most. But it could be anything.

It could be staying with the wrong partner. It could be tolerating a toxic relationship with your parents. It could be not believing in yourself and staying small. It could be not honoring your dreams and aspirations.

What is your anxiety about? What are your symptoms related to? Do you get panic attacks, and when do they happen? Do your own research and reach out for help.

My therapist had me believing it was childhood trauma bringing up all these fearful emotions to surface, which was true to some degree, and backed by studies. But in the most anxious season of my life, I felt perfectly okay as soon as I was removed from my working environment.

Am I projecting all my brokenness onto my job, or is it the actual job that’s causing me anxiety? I still don’t know.

But I know my story, and I know the exact day when I started lying to myself.

I chose to be a dentist when I was seventeen because it was familiar and guaranteed financial success. But before that, I was a creative, fierce, and unapologetic teenager with a passion for writing and the English language.

My English teacher and I were very close, we even went on camping trips together, and I was hanging out at her house all the time. She was like the cool older sister. I remember the day I decided to stop shining my light and listen to the voice of reason. I remember telling her about my chosen career one summer day in English class. She frowned and said that I was making a terrible mistake, that this wasn’t me — and I brushed it off like it was nothing, like she didn’t know me.

I don’t recall half of my 9 years spent at university, but I remember that day and my teacher’s words in vivid detail. That’s the moment right there — the moment I forced myself to believe in a story that never resonated with me.

Your story should feel true. It should excite you and only you. Anxiety feels like you’re being backed in a corner because that’s exactly what’s happening. You loathe your parents, partner, friends, society, and most of all yourself for keeping you on this route that you don’t want to be on. And worst of all, you don’t even realize it.

Your gut doesn’t care about your responsibilities.

Here’s the thing about your gut feeling: it knows the truth, but it doesn’t care about your responsibilities. Your gut is primal, it’s pure instinct — it doesn’t know about mortgages and debt, sick parents, pandemics, and financial crises. It knows what you should be doing, but it doesn’t know how to get you there.

When you finally learn to listen to your gut, you’ll find it wants some pretty outlandish things. You’ll find that it’s irrational, unrealistic, unreasonable, yet it sounds perfectly right. After all, that’s why you’ve been silencing it all along because it’s difficult, scary, and risky.

This path your gut is repeatedly asking you to go on isn’t familiar. It’s completely unknown. You have no idea where it may take you, and all you can see is a few steps ahead.

I had my life planned in detail from very early on. Success in my chosen field was predictable, and I knew how to get there. I was well on my way until I started getting panic attacks regularly. Anxiety stopped me dead in my tracks; it forced me to listen. It forced me to decide to change course.

Your body is your precious ally, don’t make it sick.

Here’s another thing about your gut: it’s in your body. We often forget that we’re not just intellectual entities floating around; we have bodies, and our bodies are hurting for us.

So if you’re telling yourself you’re fine, but you get regular migraines or heartburns or chronic pain for mysterious reasons — you are not fine. Your unconscious is roaring underneath, and your true problem— you know, that gaping hole in your soul — is so painful that your brain can’t deal with it. It shoves it back into your body so that it turns into real physical pain, the ultimate distraction.

Often times, you’re not sick. You’re disconnected from your true feelings. At least that’s what Dr. Sarno says, and I believe him.

We all have rage stored in our unconscious for many different reasons. The more you lie to yourself, the more that rage will grow. Those negative emotions will permeate every aspect of your life at some point. I know, because I’ve been there — I still am there.

But I know that my angst and chronic pain disappear when I’m away from it all when I’m going on that vacation I dreamed about for years. When I’m going hiking. When I’m happy. There has to be a deeper explanation for that.

Take care of your body by taking care of your spirit first. You may see your gut as metaphorical, but it’s as physical as it can get. If you’re in pain, your gut feeling is your body pleading for you to listen.

So how do you begin to listen to your gut? It’s simple, but it’s not easy, and there’s only one way to do it. You have to silence all the voices of other people’s expectations, and then you have to silence your own voice — the one that says, “I can’t.” Anything that’s left is your gut feeling.

You’ll know your gut feeling is speaking your truth because it will feel familiar — like an estranged friend who kept sending you letters all this time, but you never opened them. You shoved them away in a drawer somewhere and threw away the key.

Your gut knows all about you, the real you, the part that counts. It’s time you rekindled that relationship. It’s time you reconnected.