Is Happiness Overrated?

And why it’s better to pursue a purpose greater than yourself.

Wouldn’t you love to feel happy all the time? Most people would say “yes” if they answered honestly. But perhaps you’re setting yourself up for failure if this is your goal.

There are 18 decillion possible color combinations.

One analogy I like to use is that only experiencing happiness would be like seeing only one color in the world. How many possible colors are there? Looking at my printer ink, I can see that with the primary colors blue, red, and green, I can print any color I need. But the experts have determined that there are a grand total of 18 decillion (18 + 33 zeros) colors.

I’m sure you have your favorite color, but you understand that you can’t hope to see only that one color all the time. In fact, that would be quite boring. It’s the sheer variety and volume of all the colors that make the world such a beautiful place.

There are 34,000 possible combinations of emotions.

The same is true of emotions. American psychologist, Robert Plutchick, studied basic emotions. He found that there are 8 primary emotions: joy, sadness, acceptance, disgust, fear, anger, surprise, and anticipation. These form the foundation for all possible 34,000 emotion combinations.

With 34,000 possible emotions, would you only ever want to experience happiness? I must admit that when I asked myself that question, I paused before answering “no.” Most people would indeed prefer to be happy all the time.

If you’re trying to be happy all the time, you are setting yourself up for failure.

It goes back to the age-old question, “Can you really have too much of a good thing?” Perhaps the answer is “no,” but the fact is — it’s impossible! It’s not dependent on what self-help books you read, what you do, or how you do it. It is futile to strive to be happy and content all the time. If this is what you’re trying to achieve, you’re setting yourself up to fail.

What if you could appreciate the full spectrum of those 34,000 emotions? This is what makes life so rich. This is what defines our human experience. We appreciate the good emotions even more when we’ve also experienced the bad.

Happiness is a fleeting emotion. Now it’s here. Now it’s not.

Happiness is fleeting, just like the other 33,999 emotions. It is here one moment and gone the next. Have you ever said to yourself, “I’ll be happy when….”? Then “when” actually happens. You may be happy for a short while, but soon you’re chasing the next “when.” The goalpost is always moving.

Emotions can only ever come from one thing— your thinking.

As I’ve said in many of my other articles, emotions can only come from one thing — your thinking. You have a thought, and the instantaneous result is an emotion. That’s why all emotions are so fleeting, even happiness. You might have a happy thought, but that thought will soon vanish in a puff of smoke when the next thought comes along.

Over the years, I’ve read many estimates of how many thoughts we have per day. In July 2020, psychologists at Queen’s University (Ontario, Canada) did a groundbreaking study. They determined that we have about 6,200 thoughts per day. Researchers gathered fMRI data on brain activity while participants watched movies. They were able to identify “thought worms,” which indicated when a person switched from one thought to another. And a 2005 study by the National Science Foundation claims that 85% of our thoughts are negative.

The exact number of thoughts doesn’t matter. What is certain is that humans have a lot of transient thoughts and emotions every day. And the majority are negative. It’s easy to understand why we fail at achieving and maintaining happiness when we look at these statistics.

It’s about time we change our mindset when it comes to only wanting to experience the good emotions in life. This is the human experience, and it’s not how it works. If you were born with that instruction manual I so often talk about, the manual would say:

Emotions

The best part about the human experience is that you will have a large range of emotions. There will never be a dull moment. As fast as your thinking changes, new emotions will arise to go with that new thought. Life will be an emotional rollercoaster, so hang on tight and enjoy the ride.

Having a purpose in life greater than yourself will give you a sense of fulfillment.

Emotions will come and go, but I find that having a purpose in life — something greater than yourself — will leave you with a deeper sense of fulfillment. Why is this the case? It’s because it points us in the direction of what we know to be true. It reminds you that we are connected to everything else in life. Living for a higher purpose forces you to look beyond your ego self to creating a better world or helping humanity.