Is Fantasy Stopping You From Taking Action?

Daydreaming, Dopamine, and How To Break Free

I knew personal growth coaching was the thing for me when I found myself daydreaming about what I could do, and who I could be.

I wanted to be expressive; share my thoughts, and express them with others. I saw myself learning more, starting my own business; a podcast, and advocating for mental health and wellbeing. I saw what the highest version of myself could be, and I knew I had to take action.

But taking action is much harder than idealizing our future realities. It takes time, commitment, drive, and discomfort to follow a dream whilst daydreaming requires little to no effort.

In today’s article, I wanted to delve into the science of daydreaming, and why we can find ourselves pulled towards thinking over doing. I’ll also go over some strategies for turning those dreams into reality.

The Science Of Daydreaming

Daydreaming is a useful tool for recognizing what you want out of life — to some extent. If you’re daydreaming about flying a magic carpet across the Amazon then it’s unlikely we’ll be able to turn that dream into reality, but if fantasizing about a different version of you, who works a different job, and has different hobbies then we’ve got a good foundation to work off.

But daydreaming also traps us because it can feel good. I like thinking about version 10.0 of Joe because a lot of who he is is who I wish I was now. As our brains don’t know the difference between what is reality and what is imagination, thinking about version 10.0 of Joe makes me feel as if those imaginations were reality. I can imagine what I can achieve, and I can even imagine what it would FEEL like to achieve those things. Daydreaming then equals an activity that makes me feel good.

Whilst being able to feel our daydreams is good as it provides us insight into what we want in our future, such positive reinforcement can keep us returning to daydreams in place of taking action. This makes more sense when we consider the neurotransmitter dopamine and its purpose of motivating us toward rewarding activities.

Maladaptive Daydreaming And Dopamine

Whenever anything feels good to us, dopamine is there to code that activity as a potentially rewarding one for the future. Dopamine release will then signal to our brains to generate a feeling of motivation to invest in those rewarding activities when faced with them.

For example, if you’re shopping and walk past the confectionary aisle, the sight of sweets (something you’ll remember as tasting good) will trigger the release of dopamine. Dopamine will then signal to your brain that something rewarding is in sight, and you’ll feel an urge/motivation/craving to eat those sweets.

Scientists are beginning to believe that the relationship between daydreaming and reward is no different. As dopamine is associated with ANYTHING that makes us feel good, then why would it not also be intertwined with our desires to daydream? The chronic daydreaming condition maladaptive daydreaming, in which individuals invest hours upon hours in make-believe fantasies, is beginning to build steam as a suspected behavioral addiction, not unlike gambling.

None of this is to say that we’re all addicted to our daydreams, mind you, but it’s important to recognize daydreaming as something that can and will pull us out of our realities, and stop us from being productive in reaching our goals. This doesn’t mean we need to stop it altogether, either, as this will be near-impossible, but we have to be more mindful throughout our days.

A Strategy For Actualising Our Daydreams

Daydreaming is easier to engage in than taking action toward our goals. There’s little to no challenge, and we don’t have to deal with potentially overwhelming emotions such as anxiety, that stop us from moving forward.

If you’re finding yourself daydreaming over who you wish you could be, then it’s important to be aware of why you’re finding it difficult to take action.

• Is fear stopping you?
• Are there financial barriers?
• Are there mental health barriers?
• Are you finding it difficult to NOT daydream, and is it a coping mechanism that distracts you from an uncomfortable reality?
• Do you lack support?

Once we can identify our barriers, then we can work to break through them. Seek help from a coach or a therapist if your barriers are overwhelming, as there may be trauma-based origins that are also playing a part.

For me, it’s the perceived effort of being productive that often stops me. When faced with two choices; to distract myself or take action, I can literally feel the urge to distract myself — be it through daydreaming or other means. If you can relate to this, then it’s important you do the following…

• Remind yourself that it does take effort to be productive but once you get going you’ll enter into flow, feel better, and be satisfied when the task is complete.
• Remind yourself that awareness is nothing without action. You can have all the awareness in the world of who you want to be but unless you take active steps today, you’ll never change.
• Break large actions into smaller ones so as to not overwhelm yourself. This way you can slowly increase the challenge rather than diving straight in.
• Remind yourself that short-term distractions are just your brain’s way of trying to distract you from doing something potentially challenging. It’s looking out for you, but it doesn’t mean you need to do it. You have a choice.
• If you catch yourself daydreaming, mentally label the behaviour as that then break free and find something else to do. The more we engage with something, the harder it will be to stop. Break the ties, and you’ll find yourself less inclined to engage in it.
• Make note of your daydreams. What are they trying to tell you about your life and your preferences? Once you know this, ask yourself what you can do right now to actualize them.
• Practice emotional regulation. As daydreaming and other distractions be methods of us to avoid difficult emotions. Identify those emotions and work with a coach or therapist to strategies healthier methods of regulation.

Final Thoughts

Daydreaming is a useful tool that we all engage in from time to time. In daydreaming, we can gain valuable insight into who we are and what we want, but nothing will change unless we take action. Work to identify why taking action is difficult for you, and break those barriers.

There’s nothing better than envisioning who you want to be and making those dreams a reality.

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