This really is happening to me — help!

Is Anyone Else Being Busted — I Mean Audited — for Citation Violations?

Or is it just me? Hoping to find some company for my misery

Imagine my surprise when I opened my email bright and early this morning to find that Medium.com has caught me in some sort of violation in the area loosely categorized as plagiarism.

I knew being a loose woman would come back and bite me in the butt someday, but I never imagined it would look like this.

What frustrates me is the vagueness of the accusation.

After all, when I get pulled over by the Highway Patrol, they tell me how fast I was going. They don’t say, “you violated one of our highway safety ordinances so we’re suspending your license.”

But if I don’t fix the problem in 24 hours, I could lose my spot here.

Let me quote them for the practice of doing it correctly or at least learning from my mistake in what I trust is a safe place to practice.

In their email to me, Medium said, and I quote:

For your account to remain active, the following criteria must be met in the next 24 hours:

Remove all writing you do not have the copyright or permission to use. Citing the source does not supplant the necessity of securing these permissions.

Remove all photographs which you do not own or do not have an unrestricted license for reuse. Citing the source does not supplant the necessity of securing these permissions.

Mark and cite all passages or quotations taken from other sources (otherwise known as Mosaic Plagiarism).

Please fix all these issues within the next 24 hours and reply to this email for an account review.

If you do not, the account and/or posts will need to be suspended in accordance with our Terms and Policies.

Thanks,

Trust & Safety (‘Your Account on Medium’ (email), 2022, p. 2)

So do I use the bar thingy or what? Normally I would copy and paste a URL, but that’s to my personal email so no can do.

But if you see more I can do, please let me know.

Now let me scream:

24 HOURS!!!! WFT!!!!

How can I review over 1600 posts in 24 hours? Especially when I don’t know exactly how they want me to change them.

I’ve been reviewing and unlisting what I believe are the worst offenders.

Okay, True Confession:

I don’t like that left-hand vertical bar. I think it’s ugly.

So I haven’t always used it.

Out of spite? Passive-aggression? Or just good ol’ blog aesthetics.

So what I did instead was write: “here’s what _____ says about that:”

Ooops.

I’ve pissed off the Al Gore Rhythm. Again.

I’ve upset the carefully balanced Medium ecology. I guess.

Even though I’m writing this for a humor publication, I do take the charges seriously. The last thing I want to do is pass off someone else’s work as my own. My standards and snobbery are that high.

I also value integrity, as any of you who’ve read my sex and love addiction/recovery stories may recall. I want to display integrity about everything. Especially when it comes to my passion — writing.

All my pieces cite and hyperlink the sources of my quotes.

In fact, some of my pieces are riddled with hyperlinks. All names, every book, musical, or song title, every website or blog, etc. are hyperlinked. And, most likely, also underlined, thanks to the highbrow tastes David Perlmutter and I share.

So my pieces get ‘The Full Monty’ treatment. So to speak.

So is today the day I put my fingers in the air and swear,

I am not a crook?

I won’t say I’m innocent, ’cause I’m not.

But I am a good girl. Nowadays anyway. Mostly.

I try to follow the rules. I have to push myself hard to use profanity and vulgarity. Even here. I’m your basic goody-two-shoes, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The other shoe being my fate on this platform.

If this is indeed the end of the trail for me, let me say it’s been a wonderful adventure. I’ve learned and grown and developed my comic chops thanks to editorial and commentatorial support from so many of you.

I didn’t even know I could write funny till I discovered Susan Brearley and her literary cat on Facebook. The rest is history.

Let’s hope I’m not.

In closing, let me just say for the road:

THANK YOU, MUDDYUM AND EVERYONE! YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BE A FUNNIER GIRL! AND A BETTER WOMAN!

To paraphrase Jack Nicholson in As Good as it Gets

To integrity and Beyoncé!

Sorry if this was a bring-down. Here’s some funnier stuff to pump you back up:

Joining me in my personal catastrophe:

Marilyn Flower’s the author of Creative Blogging: Ninja Writers Guide to Character Development and Bucket Listers, Get Your Brave On. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her resolve during these crazy times. Follow her Sacred Foolishness and Stay in touch!