Is A Fear Of ‘Success’ Undermining Your Potential?
Here’s How To Overcome It
It might seem like a fabricated ailment if you’ve never come across it before now.
It sounds completely bogus — why would anyone fear success, isn’t that what we’re all trying to get to?
Well yes, it is…but also no. I’ll explain, keep reading.
Fear of failure, on the other hand, is a commonly known phobia — we have all faced it at one point or another.
It is a formidable limiting belief that has gotten the best of people with tremendous talent.
Which is why everywhere you look there’s a book, an ultimate guide, a tailored retreat or psychological treatments to help you overcome this fear and live your best life.
So far so good, except…
What is diagnosed as fear of failure can turn out to in fact be the exact opposite — fear of success.
A lot of the triggers and presentations of both run parallel. For example, both phobias are based on personal performance and achievement — or the lack thereof.
The human condition is a complex state of existence — contradictions abound.
Depending on your gender, age, IQ and culture it is even possible to struggle with both simultaneously. I myself have battled with both at different times in my life. You might have too without being able to put a name to your discomfort.
Feeling fearful about succeeding is not uncommon or particularly difficult to identify.
Let’s get into the thick of things with an initial definition.
What Is ‘Fear of Success’?
A persistent, recurring anxiety borne from the anticipated attainment of success.
Fear of success, as an official hypothesis was introduced by psychologist Matina Souretis Horner in 1968.
It was also known as the avoidance motive and the concept of motive to avoid success was proposed to explain an unresolved problem in understanding achievement motivation in women.
Professor Horner’s research was focused on women and demonstrated that despite the gains made by various women’s liberation movements, psychological barriers persisted which kept them from achieving at the same levels as men.
“Fear of success is not neurotic. It’s a realistic appraisal of what society has taught us and how society has responded to (us).”
— Matina Souretis Horner
Since then the phenomenon has become more mainstream and occurs in both genders.
The Formation of Fear
Fear of success is unfortunately cultivated in most of us at a young age. Society then reinforces these lessons through-out our developmental stages into adulthood.
This phobia can be a super-effective double-agent — causing you to self-sabotage while offering justification based on your internalised false beliefs.
Some common mind tricks that fear of success uses for ammunition are shown below (there are many, many more…)
- Religion-based: A lot of religions preach against the cultivation of vice — pride, greed, self-promotion, even wealth.
If you have been brought up with these tenets if can be difficult to reconcile the attainment of success with your religious motivations towards virtue — humility, self-effacement, abstinence.
If God is on the side of the underdog, it can be a scary notion to consider yourself on the outside of that group. It can be embarrassing, anxiety-inducing and worse.
- Gender-based: Women are socialised in ways that create expectations about femininity. Often these mean being subordinate to men. It becomes quite uncomfortable for a woman to find herself operating outside of those norms.
There is a real threat of being ostracised and punished by society for daring to be different.
- Race-based: Victims of a racist society report struggle with the cognitive dissonance created in attempting to reconcile societal expectations to their abilities and performance.
This internal struggle forces those suffering racial abuse to eventually accept a diminished view of self and the resulting consequences. In so doing, it eases the perpetual anxiety and anger created from striving to prove one’s worthiness.
Subsequently, the racially-abused shy away from being in situations of having to justify their success against the weight of contrary societal prejudices.
Impostor Syndrome
Ever heard of impostor syndrome?
It is one of the ways the many ways fear of success presents itself.
Being scared about becoming visibly successful to the point that everyone finally realises they have made a mistake believing in you.
Whoops!
You are actually a complete wash-out who has somehow managed to deceive everyone up until now.
If you’ve ever felt like this, you are hardly in the minority. As many as 70% of people report feeling like a fraud at some point in their lives.
It can occur soon after moving into a new role, after getting a promotion or give any form of greater responsibility. It could be an ongoing cycle of self-doubt and self-flagellation that you can’t seem to shake.
Impostor syndrome can be crippling to your self-confidence and ultimately your performance.
Let’s get on to the empowering part of this article — how to beat this internal enemy?
Overcoming Fear of Success
These three simple steps will go a long way towards
- Name your fear: A certain power dissipates from things once they have been exposed. If you can see signs of displaying signs of this fear, do not avoid it. Do what seems unnatural and lean into it. Demystifying fear of success is the first step towards getting free of it.
- Refocus your thoughts: Facts offer a fantastic way to clarify your thinking. It is instructive to realise that everyone experiences self-doubt. There is no shame or uniqueness in having this struggle. It’s not a taboo, it merely a part of being alive.
- Take action: When you start talking to people you trust and who are supportive of you things usually start to improve. You will notice that your feelings and experiences are validated in those of others. Go further and take an action towards success. If you would like to dig even deeper consider professional counselling to help you along your journey.
The mind is an extremely powerful thing.
A lot of factors that limit up from reaching our full potential are afflictions within our very own psyche.
Life is a never-ending journey of learning, unlearning and re-learning what beliefs are beneficial to us along the way.
It helps to remember that you are in the driver’s seat and you get to decide where this ride takes you!