Introduction to the Powerless

In which we meet a former god and learn of his forfeit

Four years had passed since my punishment. Before that day, four years was not even half the blink of an eye to a thing like me. Now, however, as a mortal, the passage of humans’ concept of “time” is a monstrous ball of iron chained to my ankles for me to arduously drag through the indefinite term of my imprisonment in this form.

If we haven’t yet met, you must know that I am — or rather, was — what your kind might call a “minor deity;” specifically, an Eros (in your ancient Greek language), an ethereal personification and driving force of a particular sensual or passionate concept — a catalyst, if you will: that which establishes and accelerates a specific activity without itself being a party to or consumed by said activity.

Are you who never attended a basic chemistry course still with me? Excellent. I am duly impressed. My true name? No human can pronounce it, not “after a fashion” or with “years of practice.”

We of the Eros are many. We “specialize” (how I loathe using these human constructs to explain vastly greater forces!) in one or two aspects of the erotic and the alluring. My bailiwick was consensual arousal and attraction, in other words, the “chemistry” between two or more persons, the “vibe” that draws people toward one another in an environment that may or may not be conducive to sexuality. You’ve felt it; I know you have. I am what entices you to a deeper, more intimate connection aside from simply relieving sexual hunger.

Nonetheless, I can occasionally help you with that as well.

Yes, that was me or one of my siblings. We are positive sexual intent, and if we can, we also comfort those who are rejected and work to prevent others of our kind to intervene. Those “others” are darker in their aims. I shan’t speak of them at this moment. While not our enemies, we do not count them as friends.

We have really only one cardinal rule: never abuse our powers to take advantage of a human for our own desirous ends. At least not with an alarming frequency. On occasion it happens, once in a great while, and it rarely if ever ends poorly for the human; on the contrary, it gives the human a new and beautiful understanding of their own sensual capabilities.

Yet if it is done with an unnecessary or uncalled-for regularity, and especially if it leads to sadness and heartbreak for the human(s) involved, the penalty is swift and severe. The Mother Goddess is harsh in this, and She makes no exceptions.

I know that better than anyone…

Why, you ask? You see, for many years — and I still know not what came over me to do so — I frequently took human form and seduced a number of women, of many ages, sizes, shapes, and colors, with the process taking several weeks or months, with the sole end of bedding them — often only once. Three of these souls fell in love and I ignored the signs, and did nothing to assuage their pain. This is not the way my kind do the Mother’s bidding; our lesser cousins, vastly fewer in number, prefer such work and do so without much punishment.

As I mentioned, the sentence was quick and unyielding: total removal of my capabilities as an Eros, reversion to permanent human form, and I was forbidden to engage in any sexual activity.

Oh, I almost forgot: loss of immortality. Unless the sanction is lifted, I will die like any human, except slowly, painfully. I am, for all intents and purposes, already dying.

Did I deserve my penalty? Absolutely. Do I think it too cruel and brutal? No, I do not. It fits the offense of which I am admittedly guilty. Will it result in my death? That is only for the Mother Goddess, in Her wisdom and mercy, to decide. I still love Her, long for Her, cry to Her in moans and pleas too deep and sorrowful for human ears to hear, for one more millisecond in Her beautiful, loving presence.

As a way of this acknowledgement, I took as my earthly name the French word for “penalty:” Peine.

I will never complain to anyone of my state. It is my own doing, and no one else’s. Except, perhaps…

After four years of adjusting to a mortal existence (including making a living as a wine host in the Napa Valley), all I seek now is to find what caused my breach of duty to the Birther of All. I will look in the dark places. I will search the least likely sources of light and love. I will inquire of those of whose existence humanity is but dimly aware. I will find these places, even those where my former form would never dare explore.

In addition to this quest, I intend to do all in my now-limited power to alleviate and sooth the anguish of the heartbroken — not to show any selfish penance to my beloved Mother, but to right the wrongs of love, lust, and cruelty that occur around me.

The first stop on my sojourn would be a visit to some unlikely, yet valuable friends in the other-world in which I once lived:

The vampires.