Introduction to Feathertales

Why I hid behind a fake name.

Yesterday, I decided to update my Medium profile to include my real name. Like many others, I didn’t feel comfortable putting my real name out there. It didn’t matter that anyone I actually knew in my small bubble were not Medium readers, or even knew what this platform was. All that mattered was, that I didn’t think I was good enough. I didn’t think I was a good enough writer, even for a beginner. I didn’t think my opinions mattered and surely if I put my real name out there, someone would figure out what I was: a fraud, a fake, an imposter.

Dictionary.com defines imposter syndrome as, “a psychological pattern of self-doubt in the face of evidence to the contrary-like that voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough.” For me, this is dead on. I have a voice in my head that sometimes speaks so quickly, all I am left with are the resulting emotions that flood my body with a sinking feeling. I can’t actually hear the words that come first, and I can’t slow down long enough to contemplate the thoughts behind the feelings. This might also be a good time to mention that I have ADHD, attention deficit hyperactive disorder, something I wasn’t aware of until my late twenties. Is that an excuse for my self inflicted insecurities? No, but it doesn’t help either.

I started writing when I was a teenager. Like most teenagers, I was burdened with heavy emotions I didn’t know how to deal with until I started reading and writing poetry. I truly believe that poetry saved my life. In my darkest moments, pulling out my hidden notebook and putting an inky pen to worn paper, has pulled me out of my self-critical mind.

I never thought about sharing my work with others until a few years ago, when I decided life is too short to keep everything to yourself, and, honestly, sharing my poetry with you all, makes me happy. It brings me joy to read poetry from such talented writers and get to share my own. Whether its bad, good or a work in progress, I realized I just need to accept where I am and keep growing.

So I try write every day, even if its as short as a sentence, because it makes me happy. I refer to my writing as Feathertales, because poetry and my fantasy stories are my own personal fairytales (and also, my brother calls me Feather).

Thank you for taking the time to read this and keep on writing — you never know what you’ll inspire.

~Heather