Introducing Three Factors To Help Maintain A Long Term Relationship

We all want a relationship that can last but sometimes don’t know how to achieve this.

We all wish to keep a long-term relationship, specifically one that doesn’t turn toxic or becomes more trouble than it’s worth.

We all have had our reasonable share of ups and downs when it comes to relationships, with some of us whose relationship is still going strong.

Others are not so lucky and that maybe because we tend to overlook the most important factor of a relationship, which is having things in common.

Before I used to follow the whole opposite attraction thinking and that we would tend to get sick of a similar person to us. Yet that was only really only true for the beginning of the relationship where you are generally still in the honeymoon phase.

But later on the similarity in our attitudes, background, and other traits such as views of the world and compatibility will be important.

Of course, there are exceptions where some of these don’t matter, and a couple will go through up and down. But can still stay together through thick and thin but usually this isn’t always the case.

Robert Sternberg, an American psychologist made the triangular Theory of Love. That described love as based on combinations of three components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

If a couple is able to share all three in their relationship, they are said to be in a consummate state of love. The combination of the ideal type of love, yet a difficult love to maintain.

Intimate

It’s the love that refers to the close bonds, closeness, and connection of a loving relationship.

Intimacy shows the most when the couple feels and sees each other in high regard, higher than most people in their life.

Meaning they have a lot of respect for that person and admire the way they carry themselves. Not belittling them and appreciating the things they provide for us in the relationship.

Wishing to make each other happy, sharing their memories and moments with each other. Not trying to neglect each other and making each other your priority in your life.

While commuting with each other and providing help when it’s needed. Meaning you guys are actively communicating with each other if there is a problem if something makes you uncomfortable or you don’t like it.

You shouldn’t keep or avoid a conversation just because you don’t want to start an argument in the relationship. If you don’t talk about it then, then it will most likely appear later down while instilling discontent inside of you.

Provide help when needed, be there for them, even if it means you aren’t doing anything. Just the fact that you are there, can help in more ways than you think.

They deeply value each other and aren’t taking the other for granted, which is why it’s sometimes called the warm relationship.

Passionate

This love is based on the drive that leads to romance, physical attractions, sexual consummation, and phenomena in a loving relationship.

Passionate Couples are physically attracted to each other.

To you, the other person is aesthetically pleasing and isn’t ugly to you personally.

As no matter how much we like to say looks don't matter, in the long-term game it really does. Where we wake up to that person and live our lives with them if they aren’t at least physically pleasing to us.

Then this will make it difficult for us to either stay committed or wish to be intimate with that person. Naturally, this only unless the person we're with, we ourselves don’t find attractive, other people's opinion generally shouldn’t matter.

Then the sexual desire is typically a component of passionate love. This is also very important as if this aspect is neglected, it may lead to bad decisions made by either party.

This can break the relationship and cause deeper problems for their future relationships. Such as one party might commit try to find another partner on the side because of this neglected aspect.

Passionate love, unlike Intimate love, is considered the hot component of a loving relationship. The strong presence of arousal between two people.

Commitment

Committed love the one that keeps the other two together between just both parties.

It’s for couples who decide to love another and maintain their relationship together for a long period of time.

This means that they will not be going out and looking for other relationships or be swayed by the next attractive person. Nor will they be going on dates other than the person you are committed to.

Naturally, you will have to make the verbal decision and say you guys are committed to each other.

Don’t try to go through the relationship and act like it’s an unspoken thing, as sometimes it’s isn’t always like that.

But just because you are committed, don’t mean you love or are passionate about the other person. As you can love the other person but aren’t committed to them in the long-term.

Some examples are marriages that rely on the child or benefits to stay committed but the two couples have no love for each other.

Or vice-versa, where you are committed to the person but don’t acknowledge or believe you love the other person in the relationship.

One example is you are in a relationship but it’s an open one where both of you can meet up with other people.

Just like any other component, these components can interact with each other and sometimes lead to a greater impact.

Such as the more one loves the other person in the relationship, they are more willing to be more passionate and committed.

It should be noted that how much of these components are being put into the relationship depends on both parties in it. Many types of love will have the components changing in terms of potency and how much it shows up.

But these three components could be said to be the foundation of a long-term and loving relationship, something most of us would love to have.