Curated in Self

The Intensity of Living Your Life: Can You Control It?

There is an intensity of observation and action with which you live your life

There are levels of life that we are willing to accept. If you are breathing, eating, and sleeping, you are alive. But, on a deeper level, are you alive? The answer to this question would be completely subjective. It would depend on what you may be feeling at the moment.

“Jobs’s intensity was also evident in his ability to focus. He would set priorities, aim his laser attention on them, and filter out distractions.” ~― Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs

You may consider yourself to be alive only when you have enjoyed something greatly or you have loved someone strongly. Some people may feel alive after helping someone. Still, others may feel alive after they have listened to their favorite music or experienced a masterpiece.

This means that there are levels of feeling alive. We feel alive on our subjective scale of intensity of life.

On zero of the intensity of life scale, you may feel dead dull but medically you’d be healthy. On 100 you may be bubbling with life and telling others to enjoy life as it lasts and be grateful. People would listen to you too. They’d feel that you are telling the truth. Some people who go below zero, the negative territory on the intensity of life scale, may start feeling depressed. They start thinking that life is not worth living. If this very low intensity of life continues long enough, psychological and physical health issues may arise. This is where we experience debilitating boredom.

Our desire to feel more alive is our intention to move towards 100 on this life intensity scale. But it requires work before we can move up on this scale.

You can experience artificial highs when you are on drugs or listening to deliberately designed inspiring lectures. Our senses become more acute when we feel intense. But as soon as you are back in your real life, your more permanent psychological constructs take control. When the effect of drugs or inspiring lectures wears off, you may feel even worse.

When we feel more alive, our sensitivities improve. We can feel more taste in our food and extra joy in our walk. Feeling more alive means feeling more. But it also means that you’d feel more stressed. As most of us are not filthy rich, we’d feel life’s problems with higher intensity. It will push us to start our work early and work more, with little time for rest.

We desensitize ourselves because we don’t want to feel to the extent that it starts to hurt us.

When the sense of responsibility and hard work take their toll on our lives, we wish to numb our sensitivities. We get bored by the same work-related issues we have faced and resolved a hundred times. So we want variety, a new venture, our tech startup. Something that makes us feel alive again.

But is there a method that we can use to control the intensity of our lives? How can we move up and down this life scale as and when we want to? One reasonable answer would be that it is not possible. Life is too chaotic, too unpredictable. We cannot control the intensity of our lives.

But have you ever observed your thoughts wavering in your mind? You make up your mind, and the next thing you know, you are doing exactly what you are not supposed to be doing. With greater mental discipline, however, you can control your thoughts and behaviors. Many have quit old addictions and nonproductive habits.

Likewise, you can control your intensity of life. It is quite similar to your ability to focus. If you focus on the possibility that you can control the intensity of your life, you may feel some control, though it may be very little.

When a boxer gathers her strength and punches her opponent, we can visualize how she focuses to summon her energy. If the boxer was not focusing her mind to use full force, the punch will lack the necessary might. We know intuitively that mental focus can increase the intensity of the punch.

The intangible factor, that the boxer controls with her focus, is analogous to the theoretical mental quality that controls the intensity of our lives. You can say that this intangible quality is somewhat similar to the seriousness of a person towards life.

Focus on your whole being to control this factor of the intensity of life to move it up or down. For focusing your entire being, you’d have to sit alone, remove distractions, and think about areas of your life where you want to be more sensitive. Eliminate anything that seems to be superfluous. Once you are positive about your priorities, you can write them down.

If you were successful in modifying your intensity of life, your seriousness and commitment would increase in areas of your priority. You’d be willing to take more stress in these areas. For example, for a new company, you’d be willing to give more time and energy. When the business started showing profits, you could decide to feel more sensitive in your family life and desensitize yourself in business life.

Generally, the psychological immune system dampens our sensitivities to protect our mental health. Our psychological health ultimately controls our physical health. When we are taking a lot of damaging stress, say, while building a new business, our psychological immune system numbs our sensitivity or feelings to let us lose some interest in the new stressful venture. You may even think of quitting. This is a good thing for your psychological health. But if you sit and decide that the new business is more important, you can focus the intensity of your being like the boxer, and get ready for handling any challenge. You will have to work hard, handle more stress, show a greater level of commitment, and express willingness to achieve goals more seriously.

The intensity of life, as a concept, is a regular part of our language. We often say that it was an intense experience, or she was an intense person.

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