Inspired by Katie Michaelson, I’m growing a pineapple. One of my friends grew one. I asked her how long it took. Two years.

I swear mine’s been growing for longer than that. I need some advice from James Beaufait. After all, isn’t Hawaii the home of the pineapple, or is it Brazil?

Pineapples grow well in Queensland: the Sunshine State.

My dad’s uncle had a pineapple farm. As a teenager, we’d visit on weekends, and fill the back of our station wagon with fresh, sweet pines.

We ate pineapples with milk for breakfast (yummy), a pineapple sandwich for lunch, and pineapple fritters with custard for dessert. Mum would sometimes make sweet ’n’ sour pork — not my favourite.

I rarely eat pineapple these days. Sadly, the ones you buy in the supermarket aren’t nearly as sweet and juicy as those from my uncle’s farm all those years ago.