Inhabit Your Full Space

Health advice for the modern internet woman.

The phrase kept running through my mind. It came to me, unbidden and gently repetitive.

Inhabit your full space!

Stop sucking in your belly. Let yourself be seen as you really are, without fear of judgment. Let your thighs rest on the chair without being conscious of how much space they seem to take up.

It doesn’t matter what the scale says, or how big your emotions get. You are allowed to take up whatever space you need. And for the sake of all that is good and lovely, muffin top is not a fucking crime.

Inhabit your full space.

Be present in each moment, take full breaths and expand into all the space you naturally need to take — physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Inhabit your full space.

Don’t let your mind lapse into projections of the future or contemplations of the past, but be in this moment with as much of your consciousness as you can. Then relax into it.

Inhabit your full space…

Where did the wisdom come from, I wondered. And why? What was the lesson this phrase was seeking to instill?

Who was speaking to me in the space of my own mind?

Only 10 weeks postpartum…

I haven’t bounced back to my old, healthy, culturally sanctioned body appearance like I did after the birth of my son years ago. Gee — I wonder what’s wrong with me?

Even as I close in on 40, I guess I have some pretty batshit crazy expectations of myself I guess. I wonder where these came from! Hmm….

I can give off a laid back vibe most of the time, it’s true. And I mentally comprehend the concepts of being kind to myself and not striving to meet unrealistic expectations. I know.

But I forget to follow my own knowing so often. Unconsciously, I slip into insecurity, without even realizing it. I care too much about what the appearance of my body means in the world, and what it means to me.

Somewhere deep inside, I guess I feel like I think I should be able to do it all. And for some reason, my appearance is the external marker I’ve assigned to prove these capabilities. I think it’s our culture!

Be an awesome mother, loving wife, brainy techie earning the dough, and rocking a super fit body, while still finding time to socialize and spend time communing with nature. All at the speed of light — no patience required!

Who am I kidding?

I’m on the slightly introverted side of ambiversion and I like to sleep 8 hours a night. And take naps when I get the chance. I rarely respond to event invites and don’t even make time very often to hang out with my friends whom I love.

Inhabit your full space.

Take time to do what needs to be done to make it to the next step on the path. Don’t rush. Enjoy the process. Take a freakin’ nap if you feel like it! Lead your children by example!

Inhabit your full space.

Don’t fake it, but instead feel what is really happening with you and ride the wave of what is, rather than reacting to it like you think you should. There’s no need to second guess yourself.

Inhabit your full space…

I will try.

This experience presented the opportunity for me to joyfully give myself permission to be more present. I chose to reflect upon and ponder this curious phrase that seemed to be echoing in my consciousness.

Now nearly 4 years later, I feel closer to living the dream embodied by the wisdom of these 4 simple little words. And I still don’t really know who it was that was speaking.

Inhabit.

My.

Full.

Space.

Originally written on March 20, 2016.