Summary

The website content discusses the societal pressure to settle down with a partner and start a family, questioning the validity of this expectation and advocating for personal happiness and purpose over conforming to outdated relationship norms.

Abstract

As individuals approach their late twenties, they often face intense societal pressure to enter a relationship and begin family life, a pressure that can be even more pronounced in certain cultures. This expectation is perpetuated by a societal narrative that values settling down above personal happiness, leading to questions and statements from family and peers that emphasize the urgency of finding a partner. Despite the prevalence of divorce and unhappy marriages, many still push the idea of marriage and family as the ultimate life goal. The younger generation, however, is increasingly hesitant to rush into marriage, preferring to seek meaningful lives and compatible partners before considering such a commitment. The content argues that it is more important to live authentically and make decisions that align with one's own values and desires, rather than succumbing to the pressure to be with anyone just to avoid being alone.

Opinions

The societal expectation to settle down is often based on an outdated narrative that prioritizes marriage and family over individual happiness.
The pressure to find a partner can lead to people entering relationships or marriages that are not fulfilling, which may result in divorce or unhappy unions.
The younger generation is more inclined to pursue lives of purpose and to test compatibility with a partner before committing to marriage.
It is emphasized that making life decisions, such as marriage, to please others is misguided and can have negative consequences, including the potential suffering of children in unhappy family situations.
The article suggests that personal authenticity and happiness should be the guiding principles in choosing whether or not to settle down with a partner.
It is better to be true to oneself and risk judgment from others than to live with the regret of decisions made to conform to societal expectations.

Increasing Pressure to Settle Down With the Wrong Person

Is having anyone better than being alone?

When you approach your late twenties, there is often immense pressure from those around us to settle down and start a family.

In many cultures, it is much earlier than this and the pressure is even more extreme.

I have friends who have had parents send them pictures of girls they should ask out on a date. Not really concerned about how their child is or what they are up to. But worried they may miss the boat and die alone.

If you go for a visit back home to see your family, you are often not greeted with a hug, but a barrage of probing questions. All of them centered around the same theme.

Are you in a relationship?

When are you going to settle down and start a family?

Damning statements follow when you do not give them the answers they crave.

The clock is ticking, you need to find someone before it’s too late.

These questions and statements are fuelled by one outdated narrative that is still prominent in society.

Settling down and starting a family is the only thing that matters.

Who cares if you’re happy.

Are we missing the point as a society?

About half of all marriages end in divorce. Even some of those marriages that do not end in separation can consist of unhappiness, abuse, and affairs.

And you wonder why the younger generation is more reluctant than ever to get hitched?

It really shouldn't come as a surprise.

We are more interested in pursuing a life of purpose. And if we meet the right person and live together to see if we still like each other, getting married is a viable option.

But let’s not jump in headfirst without testing the temperature of the water.

Is having anyone better than being alone?

Some single people feel pressure to jump into a relationship, even though they know it doesn't feel right.

They feel pressure to get a plus one to an upcoming wedding — anyone will do. They may not really like the person, but it is better than going alone.

Is it really though?

Lying to yourself, your family, and the person who may have strong feelings for you.

But many do it. And many go a step further and get married and have kids for this same reason.

And then the marriage doesn't last, becomes unhappy and the kids suffer as a result.

No good comes from doing something to please other people.

If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.

Let other people judge you. You are the one who has to live with the decisions you make.

Make sure those decisions are true to you. It’s your life.