avatarAnn James

Summary

This webpage contains a humorous personal narrative about the author's daily experiences, including a toaster mishap, accompanied by images and a song recommendation.

Abstract

The webpage titled "In the Water Where They Sent Me My Emojis" is a personal narrative by an unknown author who humorously recounts their daily experiences. The narrative begins with a recommendation to play a Red Hot Chili Peppers song while reading the post, which the author claims will be stuck in the reader's head for the rest of the day. The author then describes a toaster mishap and provides a step-by-step guide on how to retrieve stuck toast, recommending the use of El Quiote quince paste to enjoy the toast. The narrative is accompanied by several images, including one of tiger lilies in the author's yard and a "gag" gift from a friend. The author also mentions a friend's birdhouse and a Burning Man off-season event, and ends the post by tagging several illustrators and cartoonists.

Opinions

  • The author uses humor to engage the reader and make their daily experiences more entertaining.
  • The author values music as a way to enhance the reading experience and create a memorable atmosphere.
  • The author enjoys sharing their experiences with others and encourages engagement through the use of images and tags.
  • The author has a unique perspective on life and finds humor in everyday situations.
  • The author appreciates the value of community and collaboration, as evidenced by their mention of the Burning Man off-season event and their tagging of illustrators and cartoonists.
  • The author values creativity and self-expression, as evidenced by their use of images and their mention of a "gag" gift from a friend.
  • The author values practicality and resourcefulness, as evidenced by their step-by-step guide on how to retrieve stuck toast.

drawn to be funny: summer morning scribbles

In the Water Where They Sent Me My Emojis

My first submission to Mikel who lives in a bird house. 😁

By the author. Der. Who else would admit to it? Play the RHCP song while you read this. It will be stuck on your inner turntable the rest of the day.

Today is Costco day. Shall I pick up something for you? You believed me about prying it out with a knife, didn’t you? If this happens to you. (1) Unplug the toaster. (2) Read Uvebruce’s rant. (3) Respond to his rant. (4) The toaster has cooled down by now. Turn it over and shake it. (5) Still stuck. (6) Cuss. (7) Carefully dislodge the toast with your middle finger. (8) Smear toast with El Quiote quince paste and enjoy. You’ve worked hard for that last fuckin’ piece of toast.

Lucy saying her morning prayers. The fuzzy thingee in the foreground is an ostrich feather duster or the head of Billy Smillew, el niño, who lives across the street.

Questions about any of the items on the deck will be answered in the response section for only 99 smillew coins. This is a rare bargain, folks. A limited time offer.

Here is a freebie: “Q. How many boobs were on the golden diver statute when you found her at Rio Calzoncillos?” “A. Three. My sister-in-law cut one off that was growing from her ribcage, poof that God, in her infinite wisdom, created Adam Robinson from a boob.

Tiger lilies in my yard. BUTT (Kim Kardashian’s) as reported above, Calzoncillos is a dumpster fire. It didn’t used to be. Questions will be answered in the response section for only 99,99 smillew coins. It’s expensive because of witness protection for my clan and the three medium.guys who reside in our crawlspace where they fight over the unicorn floatie.

This is for my next submission. There are no cartoons yet. I need lessons in Drawing 101. Stating the Captain Obvious.

A ‘gag’ gift from a friend. If you gag when you see it, not my problema. Only 99,99,99 smillew coins.

This is not Mikel’s birdhouse. The Baba Yaga house is on la playa near Gerlach, in the state of eNVy. More fotos here:

Ending this post with the best Medium.news we’ve heard in a very long time. Medium.money is being expanded to writers in Brazil, Bulgaria, Croatia, Cyprus, Gibraltar, Hungary, India, Liechtenstein, Malaysia, Malta, Thailand, and the United Arab Emirates. Now, TzeLin Sam and Flavio Musa de Freitas GuimarĂŁes will be able to afford to go to a fĂștbol game together.

Tagging a few of my favorite illustrators and cartoonists on this site. Rick Post, Susan Alison, and Toni The Talker.

Only one deliberate typo was made in the writing of this post. Be the first to highlight it David Perlmutter, and you win a post card from Calzoncillos.

Drawn To Be Funny
Birdhouse
Rhcp
Smillew Coins
Ann James
Recommended from ReadMedium