In The Name Of My Father: Chapter 37
Champagne…how full is my glass?
“There are times in a woman’s life when a little Champagne is called for,” John said gently as he came back with a chilled bottle of Dom Perignon, and an assortment of cheeses, “and no better time than right now. I’ve been saving this one. Shame to trap it in a bottle I always say.”
“Ah Dad, you’re a man after my own heart! Are you sure we aren’t biologically-related? One thing you can be sure is that I’m a glass half-full, and always with Champagne. But you already know that.”
“That’s my girl. Life’s too short to drink cheap wine. Can’t remember who said that, but I agree.”
“Do you remember this poem?” she asked after they had clinked their glasses, and toasted to the next chapters of their lives.
Today you are you. That is truer than true.
There is no one alive who is you-er than you.
Shout aloud, I am glad to be what I am.
Thank goodness I’m not a ham, or a clam,
or a dusty old jar of gooseberry jam.
I am what I am. What a great thing to be.
If I say so myself, happy every day to me!
“How could I ever forget it? I loved all of Dr. Suess’ books. There was a message in every one of them. You and Craig did too, but that one was particularly useful. It was one of your mother’s favorites too.”
“Funny how things just pop into your head, isn’t it…happy every day to me…and to you too Dad…and thank you Mom,” she added, raising her glass high. “Maybe there is a heaven after all, and just maybe you’re looking after both of us right now. I promise Dad and I will be fine. We’re in this together,” and she hugged her dad as together they toasted to the steps of each of their tomorrows.
Ailsa’s head was swimming with doubt, her imagination raging like a bush fire. The challenge was on. She would have to play it to the finish. With no guidelines to help her, no map, no GPS, it was just as well she enjoyed a challenge.
For most of her life hers was a family of three, and now it could open up exponentially. She knew no names, so searching for them in Missing Families wasn’t going to help, which meant she was looking for the needle in a haystack. The trouble was there was every possibility that she might discover that the needle wasn’t worth searching for in the first place.
What if…?
The hell with what if! She tossed that question right away! This was something she had to do. She was now officially on her mission.
And it just so happened, that Alistair rang to check on things the next day. “Don’t suppose you have time for a coffee…or a stiff drink?” she asked.
“Sounds like you need the drink,” he answered. “Could pick you up in half an hour or so.”
“So now I’ve gone from having a tiny, close-knit family, to heaven knows what?” she sighed. “I haven’t slept much. My imagination takes precedence over my need for rest.”
“Albert Einstein once described imagination as the preview of life’s coming attractions. Imagine that…then you do nothing about it…but do you really want to try and find them?” Alistair asked.
“What choice do I have? Never underestimate my super-sleuth ability to uncover shit!”
“Got it! First find the dumping ground.”
“You’re mocking me!”
“Definitely NOT… but it’s not my area of expertise. I can flush out people’s innards, show them how to clean out their lymphatic systems, talk to them about roughage in their diets, but I wouldn’t have a clue as to how to go about finding people.”
“Well that puts paid to that idea!”
“It’s a bit of a limp suggestion, but you could go back to where his family grew up. There’s bound to be somebody who knew them.”
“I could, OR, I could pathetically sit outside the church hugging a big, bold corflute sign. That’d be a good look! It was a long time ago Alistair…might all be a waste of time.”
“Agonizing about doing nothing might also be considered a waste,” Alistair reasoned.
“ Dad warned me that if I didn’t at least try, I’d spend my life wondering, and beat myself up on my death bed about not having had the guts to face my fears. He’s right. Besides, I’m usually bolder than brass…so I don’t know why I’m pulling back on this one.”
“Because it’s huge! You have no idea what you’re taking on. Nor can you be prepared for the reaction of people. What about your parents’ parish, with or without the corflute? There’s bound to be one older person with some information. It might not narrow the field down as much as you would like, but it would be something. How are you going to fit all this in with work, by the way?”
“I’m ahead of you on the work issue. They’ve been terrific. I have a few weeks’ leave to help Dad out, and I’ve tacked on another couple of weeks’ annual leave. I’m hoping that my replacement will be so incompetent that they’ll double my salary when I go back.”
“Oh I’m sure they will. There again,” he said, a wicked smile spreading across his face, “if the replacement is cheap AND competent, and it could possibly happen, you could be in trouble.”
“Then the world will be my proverbial oyster. That, I’d construe as a redirection from the heavens! I’d be on the first flight to wherever, as soon as my duffel bag was packed…but then, who needs baggage? I’ve got enough already.”
“That’s my girl! But it’s never going to happen! They know a good pack-horse when they see one.”
“Some days I’d really prefer to be a horse! But seriously, do you think that searching for a family I know nothing about is just a retrograde step?”
“It’s a different looking back. Understanding your roots is one thing. We all want to do that to a certain extent. But yours is different. The possibility of meeting up with, and being part of a big family that only yesterday you had no idea about, is more exciting than I can imagine. In many ways I am jealous. I should be doing a little bit of that myself.”
“Except that, the outcome might turn out to be even worse than waiting for Godot! All that would happen is that I would keep reaching dead-ends and would end up regretting all the life I’d wasted.”
“Get out of here!” he laughed, giving her a gentle nudge. “You’re in charge of the orchestra. Beat your own drum. Make things happen.”
