In His New Year’s Address, Putin Names 2024: ‘The Year of the Family’

He declares Russia ‘one big family’, putting himself at the top: Guess who iseveryone’s daddy now?

My wife’s parents are still in St. Petersburg, and our son has not seen his grandparents in almost two years because of the war. We decided to set up the traditional holiday table, and at the far end was the computer with the grandparents on Zoom. It was almost like they were with us.

Gifts were opened — Russians exchange gifts on New Year’s — the salads were enjoyed, and vodka and champagne flowed. With everyone a little tipsy and our son off playing with his gift from grandma and grandpa — BeyBlade Burst Quad Strike is all the rage among kids this year — the music was silenced, and Vladimir Putin’s voice overtook our celebration.

The puffy-faced dictator talked about the trials and tribulations that all Russians must fight through. He was intricately weaving a web of woe for the nation of 140 million — minus the million or so who have left since he launched his war of genocide — telling the celebrating viewers that so much lies ahead for Russia still. Nonetheless, under his leadership and with the help and kindness of all Russians, he suggested that Russians are kind and freely help each other in society! — “We will overcome this moment.”

He didn’t dare speak of the loved ones missing from the holiday tables, but he did ask that everyone keep in their hearts and minds their countrymen on the front lines fighting for “Russia’s future.” The whole speech was unremarkable until he got to the heart and soul of his insane message:

“Let’s make 2024 the year of the family.”

There is no reason to unpack just how utterly thoughtless, if not even mocking, this desire is. Hundreds of thousands of fathers, sons, and husbands all over Russia and Ukraine are rotting in the earth thanks to this monster, and he has the gall to look those widows, the grieving parents, in the eyes and tell them that “everything we do is for the family.”

When he uttered those words, one family separated by a continent and forced to celebrate the holiday occasion online using Zoom, everyone let out their own version of “WTF.” I laughed loudly. Grandma, who at the beginning of the war loved Putin but has now become passively anti-Putin — she knew nothing of Russia’s attack on Ukraine on Friday and said the Belgorod attack bordered on terrorism because it targeted civilians (I quickly set her straight, but she gets her news from the only source she has, which is Russian state media.) remained silent as Putin prattled on.

As he moved to the end of his “toast,” Putin clarified what he meant for all Russians, for the history books, and the upcoming year:

“All of Russia is one big family.”

Ah-ha! There it was, folks. All of Russia is one big family, and guess who “Papa” is? You got it! Vladimir Putin is the “father of all Russians,” or as they call it in Russian, “Batushka.”

Putin effectively stated that the deep sadness that has turned many holiday celebrations into tear-soaked, drunken affairs is misplaced. The death of one father, husband, or son, while hard to accept, is nonetheless just part of the greater process of defending Russia. The world is, as always, out to deny Russia its rightful place among humanity’s greatest civilizations ever, and that is why the Russian people must set aside their petty, personal interests and heartbreaks and unite together around “Batushka” to save holy Russia.

The marketing professionals at the Kremlin are probably the best in Russia — not that this says a lot, having worked for 30 years in marketing in Russia, I can tell you they struggle immensely with it — and clearly, the theme they suggested to Putin was designed to counter the rising discontent of the widows and grieving mothers. There have been reports of late that the sorrow at the loss of so many men is beginning to dampen support for the war.

Putin just told everyone in Russia that those who complain about lost loved ones are being selfish and likely working with “foreign interests” to deny Russia its rightful place among the world’s greatest nations. Most Russians recall that Stalin, too, appealed to this paternal role, and most Russians to this day regard Stalin as the best leader they ever had. Stalin had a revival in 2023, and the marketing folks in the Kremlin took note.

Putin then bid everyone a happy new year, and the bell towers of the Kremlin bonged 12 times.

Another year has begun. More death will be brought to us by “holy Russia.”