The 10% Rule: Say No to 90% (More Life, Less Hustle)

In defence of your time

Am I spreading myself too thin?

I ask myself this question every month or quarter. I use it to assess my calendar and everything on my plate. It’s how I defend my time.

For every potential slice of my time. I ask myself:

• Is this task aligned with my goals and values?
• Am I the best person to do this?
• Is this the best use of my time?
• Will I regret saying yes to this?

It’s how I identify the low-value tasks, the unnecessary commitments, and the energy-draining requests that I can and should decline.

When you’re constantly saying yes to the priorities of others, you place limits on how much time you have for your most important tasks.

To get real work done faster, focus on a few high-quality priorities.

The 10% tasks, experiences and activities that means the world to you. Say no to 90 percent of tasks that don’t align with your values and goals. Saying no to 90% means choosing quality over quantity, depth over breadth, and meaning over mere busyness.

Warren Buffet famously said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

He says no to almost everything so he can focus on the vital few. Writer Michael Simmons writes:

• “He never talks to analysts (Buffett estimates that 20% of the typical public CEO’s time is spent talking to Wall Street).
• He rarely talks to the media.
• He doesn’t attend industry events.
• He has lived outside of NYC in Omaha, Nebraska for almost his entire career.
• He barely attends any internal meetings like typical CEOs.”

In an interview with Yahoo Finance editor-in-chief Andy Serwer, Buffet said, “I don’t worry about the things I miss that are outside my circle of competence of evaluating… I have missed things that were within my circle, and that’s a terrible mistake. Those are my biggest mistakes.”

Most people say yes to an overflowing list of things. The reality is that striving for maximum out at all costs only leads to stress, burnout and less productivity.

Prioritise ruthlessly

‘No’ is a complete answer. ‘No’ means, ‘I appreciate how much you want this, but I have to say no to you and say yes to myself. Fending is indeed standing up for your ‘no.’ It also entails letting others know that you are capable of fending for yourself. — Julie Lythcott-Haims

Saying no to 90% of requests is not about disengagement. It’s about discernment. It’s about recognising that every “yes” comes at the expense of a “no” and choosing with purpose what occupies your precious time.

It’s the recognition of the inherent value of your time and protecting it fiercely. That necessitates saying no to requests that drain your energy, don’t align with your values, or don’t spark joy.

It’s about making time for your goals, relationships, personal growth, and simply being. “No” strengthens your ability to prioritise, focus, and create a life filled with purpose and meaning.

Eliminating unnecessary commitments frees up mental space for your best tasks and work. You will experience less stress and anxiety, allowing you to be more present and engaged in experiences that matter.

No is a liberation to focus on your vital few.

It’s reclaiming complete control over your time and energy and directing them towards what truly matters. “When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself,” says author Paulo Coelho.

Saying no to the 90% that is trivial, distracting, or simply not aligned with your priorities creates space for the 10% that truly fuels your life.

Defending your time allows you to become the architect of your own life, crafting not just to-do lists but to-be lists filled with experiences, connections, and moments that make our lives rich and meaningful.

But the path of saying no isn’t always easy.

The rewards busyness and hustle, saying no can feel counterintuitive. You may face criticism or disapproval. You may worry about missing opportunities or jeopardising relationships. But the long-term benefits far outweigh these temporary hurdles.

Saying no to 90% will pave way for a life rich in purpose, connection, and fulfilment. It requires setting clear boundaries, managing expectations, and facing the discomfort of disappointing others. And distinguishing between commitments that nurture your soul and those that deplete your energy.

Say no to the trivial and the urgent and create space for the important and the meaningful. It’s how you finally focus on the deep work that leads to real accomplishment and nurtures the relationships that nourish you.

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