Philosophy | Buddhism

In Buddhism To Live In The Moment, We Must First Be Honest with Ourselves

In Buddhist practice, being honest with ourselves is the most important virtue. As sincere as our lost innocence.

By being honest with ourselves can help us find why we should strive to be gentle, kind, and caring. It is impossible to be utterly compassionate unless we are willing to face the reality right before us. Without honesty, we will find that genuine compassion, caring, and kindness are beyond our reach.

Why should this be the case? For myself, I start by looking at the relative nature of the world around me.

Everything that is conditioned is subject to change. That is, everything that is conditioned possesses no inherently permanent characteristics. This includes my so-called “self”; it is also impermanent and does not exist alone if I investigate.

The self is constantly working to declare its permanence and separateness from the rest of the universe. It is continually propagandizing on its own behalf, trying to cover things up, reinterpret them, or deny them to remain central. In other words, in every instant, the ego has an agenda. It has standards. It wants to improve things. That’s what it tells us, anyway: it wants to make things better. It sees the countryside and imagines a house. Once the house has been attained, the ego begins to feel that it is not quite right; it needs a particular closet just for shoes, a high-speed coffeemaker, and a six-car garage. The house is too close to the neighbor’s home or far from the lake; the rooms are too small, and the kitchen is too dark. This desire to improve things manifests in small and more significant ways, but at the heart of this desire is an absence of absolute honesty.

Absolute honesty means being willing to see things as they are without any motive or intention to change them. Of course, this is challenging. It needs to be more counterintuitive. Since birth, we have divided the world into us and Everything Else and habitually pursued that which would advantage us, leaving Everything Else to fend for itself.

But where has this way of thinking gotten us? This constant denial of reality takes tremendous energy. There is something unnatural about it. It does not make us happy since reality always refuses to cooperate, refusing to corroborate our propaganda. Even if we finally get what we want, we fear that we will lose it again, and this brings us anxiety. Every moment, we feel this sadness, this frustration, and this inability to make the world fit our ego’s projection.

In the end, at the time of our deaths, we will have to deal once and for all with the lie of our own permanence.

True honesty also means relating to each moment entirely. When we are dishonest, we miss this moment because we are thinking of the next moment, the last moment, or next week’s moments. And therefore, we are failing to relate to this moment, to the reality right in front of us. By not paying total attention to this moment, we disrespect this thought and energy and take it for granted. Now, when we ignore the present moment in this way, there are consequences: we create karma and suffering. If we live this moment only fifty percent, the fifty percent we fail to live will cause us difficulties later.

So when we say “be mindful” in this tradition, we say this moment is more profound than anything else. We are saying that your innate nature is primordially pure; therefore, the energy that comes out of your primordially pure nature is more valid than anything else. This moment is no less valid than any other moment. Whether this moment consists of you thinking of your father, hearing a flock of geese overhead, feeling irritated because you’ve just remembered that tax time is approaching, or experiencing an itch on the back of your whatever it is-nothing is more valid than this moment, because what is present in this moment is nothing less than the pure energy of the primordially pure state of your being.

Say you experienced a moment of jealousy. You are being honest means that you must not disregard that jealous feeling. You must be completely aware of your jealousy and that this jealousy is simply energy. This energy is every bit as much “you” as any other energy that has ever been “you” or has emanated from “you.” Since jealous energy is as valid as any other energy, you must respect it fully. You must pay complete attention to it. You must not ignore it, theorize about it, or be hostile towards it- you must pay complete attention to it.

When you pay complete attention this way, the energy won’t demand anything more. You will be satisfied by the fact that you have paid attention. It will be complete. It will not cry, it will not demand any more attention, and it will not ruin the day. Having been fully experienced, it will continue unobstructedly as energy.

So, in a sense, jealousy is any feeling we experience, like a snake that has tied itself into a knot. If we respect the snake, are honest with it, recognize its innate ability, and have confidence in its ability to untie itself. We don’t need to do anything except be completely present in that moment. And we will see, within that moment, that the snake will untie itself.

The energy of jealousy is no different from the energy associated with the pleasure of eating, the stab of a pin, the feel of rain on the skin, or the sound of music from across a lake. If awareness is present, these are all just energies in a continuum of energies.

Honesty, then, means no fabrication, no pretense, and no foolishness. Honesty means true sensitivity and understanding. Honesty means to be simple. Realize that you can live with very few ideas and very few possessions. Having very little will make you less inclined to keep yourself busy, less dependent, and, therefore, have more time to be free and relaxed.

Look, we can never be completely honest unless you know the complete picture of everything. Those who are the most honest have complete confidence in the total function of reality, like the Buddha himself. Then you do not find any harm outside, since you have subjugated the real demon within, namely dishonesty.

Not being honest creates identity. Not being honest generates selfishness. Not being honest prevents us from living fully. When we are not honest, we worry: if I do this, what is in it for me, what will happen to me, and so forth? The “me” becomes essential, instead of the moment.

Letting the moment take over is the practice of great honesty. To allow the moment to take over, you must have tremendous confidence in your true nature: the Buddha within you. When you find the Buddha within, everything is a celebration. You will be able to see everything outside of yourself as the expression of the Buddha within. If something appears wrathful, it is understood as the expression of the Buddha within. If something seems peaceful, it is understood as the expression of the Buddha within. After all, everything is the expression of the Buddha within. Therefore, everything is your creation. Your creation is everything.

When you understand this, you will feel no need to be dishonest, no need to fight, and no need to change. You will be able to relate to things just as they are.

Now, we may ask: Doesn’t this condemn us to a life of passivity? Since everything is perfect just as it is, does this mean we must sit and watch life go by? This is not the case. In this context, honesty means that we can see things just as they are. Therefore, true sight will guide all of our actions. It will be based on the truth, not delusional or wishful thinking. Our concepts will not bias it. Our actions, in turn, will have a natural honesty. We will not act wastefully, unnecessarily, or out of impure intention.

If you have been on a car trip in the summer, you are familiar with the heat waves that shimmer up from the road. Do these heat waves serve any useful purpose? All they do is obscure the actual conditions ahead of you. These heat waves may be likened to dishonesty. As we reduce or eliminate these waves, we see the road more clearly, in all its danger and beauty.

In the same way, as we become more honest, we experience life more fully. Seeing reality just as it is, without judging it, categorizing it, or trying to change it, we can respond more compassionately and effectively to whatever arises. We are open to the beauty and desolation of life, to the humor, to the tragedy — to everything.

After all, what is so scary about things just as they are? We know the truth if we see things as they are. What should frighten us is denying things as they are. No matter what we think, they are still as they are. Reality still exists in front of us. When we deny reality, we are like someone thinking of jumping across a river but refusing to look at it. We can wish all we like, project all we want, and deny all we like, but the river is still precisely as wide as it is. It makes sense to open our eyes, see, and accept the river as it is. Then, we can jump (or not jump) with full knowledge of what we are doing, accepting total responsibility for the consequences, whatever they may be.

Here, we see the birth of complete intelligence, which frees us from all consequences. This is what is required to live fearlessly. We do not become fearless because we know that nothing wrong will ever happen to us, or that we will never experience a negative emotion or discomfort. True fearlessness comes from the knowledge that we will never lie to ourselves or evade a single moment of our lives. We will be fully present for every moment and every consequence.

Now, this sort of honesty is partly willed. We say to ourselves, Look, try to be more honest. Or: Try not to over-conceptualize, try not to delude yourself, look frankly at this situation, and consider the possibility of being mistaken.

But more importantly, the honesty we discuss is the natural by-product of a disciplined and energetic meditation practice. That is to say, honesty springs forth naturally from meditation, without any of it at all. If we meditate, we will become more honest.

This practice of honesty, which may at first sound harrowing and challenging, is the only way to enjoy the moments and fully be who we are.

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