In Bloom

Or not so much when you have a black thumb

When we visited Trader Joe’s recently, I stopped to look at their display of plants. I’m aware they strategically place them right inside the entrance so customers will stop and get one, and I do. Almost every time.

“I shall buy this plant and name it Robert,” I announced to my husband as I picked up the blue planter filled with succulents.

The husband gave me a funny look, obviously not understanding the joke, so I said, “Robert Plant, get it.” Then he laughed and gave me another look that said I’m at least slightly amusing or maybe very strange, I’m not sure which.

I’m also aware my jokes are as unsuccessful as my attempts to keep a plant alive. I’ve killed a cactus. It’s no wonder this lone plant in the above photo is barely alive.

My mother had plants everywhere when I was growing up, even the artificial type, of which I never really understood the purpose. I guess if you want the greenery without the fuss, without continuously killing them, the fake ones make sense. I still like the real ones. My favorites that she had were different kinds of ivy. She also made her own macrame hangers.

And I just thought she was the plant lady until I met my mother-in-law. That woman had a green thumb I truly admired. She could tell me the names of all of her plants (the actual name, not some made-up corny joke), always had planters and soil at the ready, and could repot and make things grow like nobody’s business.

The last thing she said to me when she was very ill and bedridden was, “Lynn, do you have a garden?” If it hadn’t been such a sad moment, I would’ve laughed. She knew I had a black thumb.

My problem with keeping plants alive is that I tend to overwater. Succulents don’t need a whole lotta love…er, water, and I know this, yet still invariably kill them. I also don’t have a lot of places where they could get sunlight and not be chewed on by my cat. If I did, I’d probably have plants everywhere. Unfortunately, they’d be in various stages of death.

I once fell in love with a planter that was shaped like a bicycle. And I used to admire a neighbor’s three-tier planter that she kept filled with all kinds of colorful pots and plants.

When we first moved into our house almost 20 years ago, I bought a huge planter that had different colored leaves on it. I was going to get the biggest plant I could find as a gift to ourselves in our new home. I still have that planter. It’s never seen a plant. Good intentions, and all that.

It would seem I like the idea of plants more than the actual plant, but they do bring me a sense of peace. It’s fun to watch them grow, fun to find vibrant planters. And one of these days I’ll find a plant that I don’t kill.

In response to Ellie Jacobson’s prompt on whether you have a green or black thumb.